Simon - Neil Simons memoirs: Rewrites and the play goes on

Praise for Rewrites and The Play Goes On

Neil Simon has created that rare thing: an autobiographical page-turner. Its a funny and moving work. I cried till I laughed.

Steve Martin

Funny, intelligent, bittersweet.... Ought to be required reading for everyone who aspires to a career in playwriting, fiction, or poetry.

Jonathan Yardley, The Washington Post

Exhilarating.... Simon is a superb and introspective raconteur.

Publishers Weekly

Neil, while telling the absolute truth, makes things both funnier and more positive. And then I realize with a pang that this is truly how it was.

Mike Nichols

Warm, open, and highly readable.... Simon is a born wordsmith, and his rich, rare, wise memoir is as enjoyable as a good novel.

Booklist

Fascinating.

Chicago Tribune

Very funny.

New York Post

A compelling page-turner.

The Denver Post

One wonderful read.

Larry King, USA Today

Courageously honest and revealing.

Gwen Verdon

A knockout autobiography.

The Hollywood Reporter

A brilliant and honest look at what makes Simon tick.

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Only the hardest heart will get through the final chapter... unmoved.

The New York Times

Thank you for downloading this Simon & Schuster eBook.

Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Simon & Schuster.

C LICK H ERE T O S IGN U P

or visit us online to sign up at
eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

Simon & Schuster

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

Rewrites copyright 1996 by Neil Simon

The Play Goes On copyright 1999 by Neil Simon

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Simon & Schuster Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition November 2016

SIMON & SCHUSTER and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.

Jacket photograph by Jonathan Exley/Contour by Getty Images

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.

ISBN 978-1-5011-5500-0

ISBN 978-1-5011-5501-7 (ebook)

All photos are from the personal collection of Neil Simon unless otherwise indicated. Effort has been made to trace the ownership of all copyrighted picture material; in the event of any questions arising as to the use of any material, the author and the publisher will be happy to make the necessary corrections in future printings.

My dear friend and colleague Matthew Broderick, the original Eugene Morris Jerome, alter ego of Neil Simon in Brighton Beach Memoirs and Biloxi Blues , once said that when he was very young, he actually thought that Neil Simon was not a person but the name of some factory in Newark that manufactured all these hilarious and touching comedies that were then shipped out and presented on Broadway to great acclaim. Considering Neils extraordinary output and level of success, that was an understandable theory for a youngster. Yet all that remarkable work really did come from the mind of one shy boy from the Bronx, Marvin Neil Simon.

I myself first encountered Neil Simon when, at the age of eleven, I joined a play-of-the-month club called The Fireside Theatre. One of the first plays I ordered was a new comedy from the celebrated author of Barefoot in the Park called The Odd Couple . I was so excited when it arrived; it felt like Christmas morning. It was a beautiful hardcover copy with many black-and-white Martha Swope photographs of the production and its two stars, Art Carney and Walter Matthau. I couldnt wait to start reading it and wound up taking it to school with me. It was a strict Catholic school run by an elite force of deadly Dominican nuns. During a world geography class, I had hidden my precious copy of the play inside my textbook. I was reading the scene where Felix has cleaned up Oscars apartment and made sandwiches for the poker game. Two of the players were discussing how beautifully made the sandwiches were and a third player says, Are you listening to this? Martha and Gertrude at the automat. I burst out laughing and the nun in charge, Sister Liam Neeson, said, Whats so funny, Mr. Lane? And I said, The International Date Line is imaginary? Hilarious! And she beat me senseless.

Lets get this out of the way: When it comes to Neil Simon, I am not objective. I am an unabashed fan. He was and remains one of my theatrical heroes. Far too many years ago, I almost went to college and found myself at an admissions interview for the NYU School of the Arts. At a certain point, the interviewer asked me to name my three favorite playwrights. I said Eugene ONeill, Samuel Beckett, and Neil Simon. The interviewer looked slightly aghast and I said, He writes about people in pain too. It just comes out differently. I didnt get in, but I didnt want to go to college anyway. I wanted to work in the theater. And eventually I got to work with Neil Simon.

In 1987, I auditioned for the national tour of Broadway Bound , and later that day was offered the role of the older brother, Stanley. Neil was there, but I didnt get to meet him. In fact, that didnt happen until several months later at opening night in Los Angeles, at the Ahmanson Theatre. After the show, there was a knock at the door and I opened it and there he was: taller than I imagined, with the famous horn-rimmed glasses and that mysterious Mona Lisa smile that seemed to say, I know something you dont know, and Im probably going to write a play about it. I was terrified to meet one of my heroes, and I think he sensed that and immediately put me at ease. He was very kind and complimentary about my performance, and when he left I was walking on air. I felt I had pleased the master and it felt great.

To be honest, thats really been the basis of our relationship. I never wanted to let him down or disappoint him. And when I did well by him it was incredibly gratifying. Several years later, Jerry Zaks asked me to do a new play by Neil about his time writing for Sid Caesar, called Laughter on the 23rd Floor . Jerry said Neil wanted me to play the role of Milt, one of the comedy writers. I said I would be happy to play anything in it and especially to get the opportunity to originate a role in a new Neil Simon play. They were going to have a reading of the play, and at the last minute Jerry asked me to read Max Prince, the character based on Sid Caesar. He said they were looking for a big, burly actor to eventually play the six-foot-two, two-hundred-and-fifty-pound Caesar, but for the purpose of the reading, he felt I would bring the right energy to it. When we did the show I would still play Milt, but for now I was to render unto Caesar the things that are Caesars. I suddenly realized that in a sense I would be auditioning for what was the lead in the show, but put that aside and tried to find my inner Sid. The reading went exceptionally well, and afterward Neil and Jerry decided that I should play Max, that now they couldnt see anybody else doing it, which was surprising but very exciting.