Wendy McCarthy - Dont Be Too Polite, Girls: A Memoir

Wendy McCarthy has always been a woman of action who will not accept inequality or injustice. She has been and remains a powerful advocate for change in Australia, forcing us to question what is right so we can advance our social agenda. Her legacy is vibrant, dynamic and reformist, but I am sure the best is yet to come! The Hon. Julia Gillard, AC

An extraordinary story of a life magnificently lived with passion and purpose and one that has paved the way for women everywhere. Lisa Wilkinson, AM

A tale of daring, determination and a downright refusal to take no for an answer when it came to equal rights for women. Wendy McCarthy is and always has been a trailblazing feminist and a warriorbut I just think of her as a really great woman. This is her story. Fran Kelly

The title of Wendy McCarthys book, Dont Be Too Polite, Girls, is a call to action for women and girls everywhere. Through her stories of five decades of relentless community engagement, feminist activism and corporate work we see her steely determination and fine intellect, peppered with her quick wit and irreverent sense of humour. Wendys book charts her eighty years of life experience in parallel with her observations and involvement with some of the most significant social movements of her time. Wendy McCarthy is a personal friend, a mentor, a confidante, a role model and in my opinion, a national treasure. Dr Kerryn Phelps, AM

Dont Be Too Polite, Girls is an incredible memoir of an extraordinary life forged by a determined country girl. More than a memoirits a manifesto on how to live well with gusto, heart and ambition. This book is testament to the fact feminism, fun, family and fashion can co-exist. Like Wendy herself, Dont Be Too Polite, Girls is wise, generous, accomplished and an absolute riot. A fuller life than Wendy McCarthys is impossible to fathom and this rollicking read captures it all. Georgie Dent

Here is a portrait of a very well-lived life indeed. No, politeness may not have been its hallmark but essential civility was, interpreted in a very broad, big-thinking way. A lot of us have been the beneficiaries and continue to be so. It sounds like a lot of fun too! Geraldine Doogue

Fearless, wise, witty and intelligent: Wendy McCarthy is one of the great Australian feminist superheroines of the last 50 years. Her book is a fascinating piece of social history as well as a clarion call to the next generation of feminists, male and female. Jacqueline Maley

Nothing beats the wisdom drawn from a womans lived experience and Wendy McCarthys long life experiences have been so rich and diverse, and her accomplishments so radical and necessary that it is both a pleasure and an education to read how she did it all. Dr Anne Summers, AO

My advice? Take Wendys advice. She is smart, strategic and effective. Shes never rude, but always challenging. She gets shit done, even if it ruffles feathers. She is also warm, funny and engagingjust like her book. Jane Caro, AM

Wendy McCarthy nails it again! This enlightening work says so much about the history of the feminist movement in Australia of which Wendy has been a trailblazing headline act. In typical style, Wendy cheekily and deftly guides the next generation of young women on how to carry the torch and continue the fight for womens rights. Her wit, wisdom and guidance deliver a must-read for all. Sandra Sully

Beautifully written, relatablelike sitting at your dining room table, drinking ros and talking. Brilliant! Avril Henry

Wendy McCarthy is an experienced manager and company director who began her career as a secondary school teacher. She moved out of the classroom into public life in 1968 and since then has worked for change across the public, private and community sectors, in education, family planning, human rights, public health, overseas aid and development, conservation, heritage, media and the Arts. She has a long track record of advocating, campaigning and fundraising for womens issues in public life.

Wendy has held many significant leadership roles in key national and international bodies. She has established several businesses, including the national consulting practice McCarthy Mentoring, which is now owned by her daughter Sophie McCarthy. Wendy McCarthy is an experienced speaker and facilitator and is regularly asked for comment on social and political issues.

Your Body, But Whose Right to Choose?

Sex Education and the Intellectually Handicapped:
A Guide for Parents and Care Givers

A Fair Go: Portraits of the Australian Dream

Dont Fence Me In

The Guide for Mentees: How to Be an Effective Mentee

The Guide for Mentors: How to Be a Valuable Mentor

Teaching About Sex: The Australian Experience,
edited by Wendy McCarthy

Raising Your Child Responsibly in a Sexually Permissive Society,
by Wendy McCarthy and Sol Gordon

Sexuality and People with Intellectual Disability,
by Wendy McCarthy, Lydia Fegan, Anne Rauch

First published in 2022

Copyright 2022 Wendy McCarthy

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.

Allen & Unwin
83 Alexander Street
Crows Nest NSW 2065
Australia
Phone:(61 2) 8425 0100
Email:
Web: www.allenandunwin.com

ISBN 978 1 76087 830 6

eISBN 978 1 76106 377 0

Index by Puddingburn
Internal design by Post Pre-press Group, Brisbane
Set by Post Pre-press Group, Brisbane

Cover designer: Mika Tabata

Cover photograph: Louise Lister

This book is dedicated to my children
Sophie, Hamish, and Sam
and my grandchildren
Elias, Lara, Aidan, Luca and Freya

Special thanks to Jane Palfreyman, my publisher, who was constantly encouraging and a source of sound professional advice.

And to my niece Savannah Nichols, who worked with me during the life of the book and managed to wrangle me and the computer to get it done.

It is easy to forget that there is more to a book than an author.

I dont want us just to tell them how we felt. I want us to tell them what we did.

Kamala Harris, The Truths We Hold: An American Journey

And so do I.

On Thursday, 19 September 2019, I was sitting in the NSW Parliament listening to an excruciating debate on the Abortion Bill. The debate was becoming circular and all the key players were exhausted. Any hope that this would be a benign legislative change to remove abortion from the Criminal Code had long gone. It was feral.

I was booked on a flight to London on 22 September, a reservation already twice deferred because of this debate. After 30 hours in the chamber and the prospect of another extension, I sent a text to the Minister for Health at 6 p.m., when the session ended, asking: When will this be done?