Maggie Miller - Lords Hill: A Place Only God Could Save Me From: Based On a True Story

Copyright 2014 Maggie Miller..

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 (866) 928-1240

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4908-5280-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-5281-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-5282-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014916891

WestBow Press rev. date: 9/29/2014

Contents

Dr. Aphrodite Matsakis has authored over twelve books on an array of psychological topics, Including post-traumatic stress, depression, and womens issues, grieving, survivors of sexual and physical assault, suicide, family violence, vehicular accidents, combat trauma and natural disasters.

By; Aphrodite Matsakis Ph.D.

For centuries child abuse and other forms of family violence were shrouded in denial. Even in our own country, laws against animal cruelty existed before laws against child abuse. In the 1960s the silence began to be broken and today the problem of child abuse is widely recognized. However, to date, the emphasis has been primarily on child sexual abuse and, after that, on physical abuse. Yet the effects of other forms of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, which are just as devastating to the human psyche, are often minimized, if not overlooked.

Hence the importance of this book, written by a woman who experienced almost every form of child abuse, from abandonment and physical abuse, to extreme forms of emotional abuse. Indeed, the verbal degradation she endured assumed almost gigantic proportions because it occurred in the context of a multigenerational chain of family violence and addiction, as well as in the context of a small town. Hence her familys problems became the object of vicious gossip and Ms. Miller was subject to ridicule and bullying, not only at home, but at school, the village store and almost everywhere she went in her community.

In this compelling account, Ms. Miller describes how she, a motherless child abandoned by her father, subsequently became subject to multiple forms of mistreatment, not only from her primary caretaker, but other relatives, some of whom were also abused as children or who suffered from an addiction or mental illness. She touches on areas of child abuse, such as emotional manipulation and exposure to adult sexuality and sexual depravity, which need to be recognized.

Ms. Miller does not spare the reader some of the heartbreaking details of her experiences, yet there is not a shred of self-pity in her book. Instead she describes her abusers in their full human complexity, their good sides as well as their bad sides, often showing compassion and understanding as to why these people, like her unforgettable Nana and adulterous Aunt Charlotte, sought to cope with life by taking advantage of and disregarding the basic needs of an innocent child.

Yet, despite Ms. Millers insights into the origins of her perpetrators abusiveness and self-destructiveness, she is more than honest about how these individuals damaged almost every aspect of her being, thus propelling her into years of addiction and other self-destructive behavior.

This book is humbly and clearly written. There are no long psychological complicated explanations, just the facts as she remembers them and her reflections as an adult on a childhood that can only be described as pure torment.

Its amazing that she survived her past, not only in the sense that she didnt die physically, but in the sense that she overcame her addiction and the emotional blindness caused by years of trauma to the point where she could tell her story. Given the continuous nature of the traumas she endured and the fact she had to contend with not just one, but many, perpetrators, this is a monumental achievement. Its also noteworthy that shes grateful for what she did receive from some of her abusers, which has enabled her to survive.

Although there are scores of adult survivors of child abuse, there are few first person accounts of child abuse like this unique book. Many survivors remain in denial, addiction or other forms of escape, and are hence incapable of remembering their past, much less putting their past on paper in a coherent manner that can serve to enlighten others. But Ms. Miller has done so and her book, the result of decades of hard work and therapy and her own ongoing self-scrutiny, is a gift to us all.

*Some of Dr. Matsakis books include; I Cant Get Over It, Survivor Guilt, In Harms Way, Vietnam Wives, Trust after Trauma, Emotional Claustrophobia, Back from the Front and Rape Recovery Handbook. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. www.matsakis.com

First and foremost I want to thank my Heavenly Father for His Son, my Savior Jesus, and for His patience with me through many years of recovery.

Dr. Thomas Lynch, my psychologist, mentor and friend, we lost unexpectedly in January 2011. His desire for me to write my memoir was at times even greater than mine. Thank you for all the faith you had in me, and the hope and healing you blessed my life with. The completion of this book is bitter sweet for I know how illuminated your face and eager your eyes would have been to see its completion. God bless you, I loved you my trusted friend and doctor.

Dr. Robert J. Mathes, there are no words or sentiments deep enough to express my gratitude, respect and love for you as a great physician and friend. Your testimony of the man and doctor that you are will resonate in the hearts of your patients and their families long after youre gone. I feel blessed and favored by God to have been one of them.

Dr. Aphrodite Matsakis, this memoir could have been written had it not been for your brilliant work with PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). In 2004 when I found you, I was a walking landmine burdened with unpredictable triggers that would send me reeling out of control. You not only gave me an identity that I searched for my whole life, but, the healing and recovery I needed to have life. My affection for you will be deep and abiding the remainder of my days here on earth.

My husband, Michael, you are an angel sent straight from God. You have been my truest friend. The blessing that you are to me far outweighs any pain that has ever pierced my heart. I Love you.

My girls, Marion and Elizabeth, I thank God for the gift of a precious and deep love unlike any Ive ever known, the day(s) you were born. Youve given my life more meaning and reason for healing than you may ever know. You have helped me to grow and learn humility. It is my prayer before I leave this life that you will know Ive had the truest love in my heart for you.

June Y., Barbara M., Charlie C., Marion B., Earl T., Blanche V., Carl T., Katherine G., Donna Mc A., Doris A., D. Farina, and Pastor Lindsay you know who are. My life has been richer in love, friendship and growth because you cared, and shared so much of yourselves with me.