Jason Michael - Strength of a Woman: The Phyllis Hyman Story

STRENGTH

OF A WOMAN

IN COOPERATION WITH GLENDA GRACIA AND THE ESTATE OF PHYLLIS HYMAN

2007 by Jason A. Michael. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address JAM Books, LLC, 75 Chestnut St., River Rouge, MI 48218.

"PHYLLIS HYMAN" is a Registered Trademark (U.S.P.T.O. Reg. No. 3,108,778) of The Estate of Phyllis Hyman (Glenda Gracia, Executrix) and is used with the permission of the Estate.

This work contains references to certain letters, documents and photographs the copyrights for which are owned by The Estate of Phyllis Hyman (Glenda Gracia, Executrix) and which are used with the permission of the Estate.

THIRD EDITION ISBN 0-9794890-0-8

Its been just over a decade since I first released this book. After being told by dozens of publishing houses that there was no market for a book about Phyllis, I was forced to self-publish. The book went on to become an Essence magazine bestseller. Despite this initial success I was unable to keep the book in print and eventually after a second printing the book disappeared.

But even with no books to sell, I always continued to promote Phyllis Hyman. I love talking about her and helping folks to understand her better. Whether Im speaking to a book group or giving an interview on the radio or even one on one with the folks who contact me through social media, keeping Phylliss legacy alive is and will always be my lifelong mission.

I said in the acknowledgments section of the first edition that I credited Phyllis with bringing so many wonderful people to me while writing the book. Phyllis has the most amazing fans and she has continued to bring incredible people into my life like Jeffrey Graham, Darryl Pressley, Craig Wiggins, Michael Coleman, Mikeisha Best, Rudy Chapman, Leo Brown, Quentin Harrison, Douglas Says, Jerry Aultmon and David Aaron Moore.

Id like to thank everyone who promotes Phyllis in some way and continues to help keep her legacy alive. I appreciate everyone who interviewed me for their newspaper or blog or radio program. Thanks to Troy J. Rose for creating the Simply Phyllis Hyman Facebook page. A big shout out to Kendrell Bowman and Anthony Wayne, producers of An Evening with Phyllis Hyman, for bringing Phylliss story to the stage. Thanks also to Sass and Teri S. from DIVAS DC Productions for their efforts on Phylliss behalf. Appreciation goes to my attorney Alicia Skillman.

Thanks to dear friends Rev. Dr. Selma Massey and Lady Vonne for always keeping ahold of me spiritually. My admiration

goes to Jeynce Poindexter Mizrahi for being such a powerful example of someone who walks in her faith. A big shout out goes to my Imagine This Productions partners Robert Tate, Marcus Pratt and Damon Magic Percy.

Words cannot express the gratitude I have for Joshua H. Jenkins, another friend I met through the book who is now the webmaster of www.phyllishymanstory.com and the books Facebook page (www.facebook.com/phyllishymanstory). Josh, you are my hero and I thank you immensely for helping to get the book back out there. I couldnt have done it alone. Thank God he sent me you.

And if youre reading this and youve been waiting to own the book for some time, my sincere apologies for keeping you waiting. I hope after youve finished it youll feel it was worth the wait.

Peace and Love, JAM

September 2018 .

Phylliss story is a tale of woe: extreme sadness and regret still hang in the air. At the end of her life, Phyllis spirit was threadbare. Her bold sense of humor blurred by bitterness, her strong convictions weakened by self-doubt. Her suffering had been incessant and unfathomably deep.

As one of seven children raised by parents who were challenged by mental illness, alcoholism and an inability to cope with the stressors a large, struggling family presented, she suffered. As an unusually tall teenager and woman, beauty could not compensate her enough for the suffering caused by being different. As an artist who could not express her art in an authentic way, she suffered. As a black woman living in a culture that is hostile toward black women, she suffered. And, as a victim of mental and emotional illness, she suffered.

In the face of all this suffering, Phyllis fought everyday to function and forge a successful career and life path for herself. The result: an incredible body of work bequeathed to the world. A tribute to her great artistry, she offered her voice to us, without holding back one ounce of passion - whether the song deserved the gift of life she gave it or not. Phyllis also offered her humanity. She could cry for you and could care more about you than you did for yourself.

This book puts Phylliss business in the street: revealing her as a frightened and angry womanchild - and, as a victim, survivor and warrior battling life and herself. For some, this book will become a tool for self-examination and introspection. The process required for healing mental and emotional illness and, trauma.

A death caused by mental illness is so hard to understand. With heart disease or cancer, you wonder: what will give out or metastasize? Well, for the mentally ill, its their obligatory sadness that runs rampant and their will that gives out - their will to live and be strong. For them, the expectation of adversity is so ingrained in their emotional fabric that the mere suggestion of joy offers too much of a challenge for their dried up soul.

Of all the illnesses from which one can suffer, mental illness is among the cruelest and most irreverent. It creates a vicious cycle of embarrassment, guilt and shame for its victim and their loved ones. Everyone involved spends their life seeking forgiveness from themselves and others that often never comes. Our society does not support meaningful dialogue about mental illness the way it does for other pathologies that manifest in the physical. As a consequence, millions remain undiagnosed and continue to suffer through bad days, as the people in their lives try to cheer them on or leave them to fend for themselves because its too hard to engage with them.

If Phyllis had cancer - she may have been better off. She may have received more support, compassion and understanding. She may have been nurtured into a survivor until she healed or made a transition with dignity.

An HIV victim has support from family and society. A diabetes victim has support from family and society.

Not the victim of mental illness. Why do you suppose? There are brilliant professionals available to help when given the opportunity. Indeed, opportunity is the operative word. The shame and guilt about mental illness keeps victims and their loved ones closeted, hurting alone till the bitter end. The regretful afterthought always haunting those who are left behind: we should a

We must raise our awareness about mental illness to create more consciousness as a society for the sake of the humanity of those who suffer. They need our love, support and compassion just like the next person suffering from an illness.

At the end of her turbulent and battered 45 years, Phyllis had become indifferent - robbed of her enthusiasm for life and the sweet spot that music and performance once held for her. Across many traditions, people pray for deliverance from attachment and aversion - but not to the point of becoming indifferent. Indifference forbids joy, hope, meaning and love. A sad way, indeed, to walk in this world.