Jolene Goh - Jolenes Story

2013 Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited

Published by Marshall Cavendish Editions

An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International

1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196

Cover by Lynn Chin

All rights reserved

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Requests for permission should be addressed to the Publisher, Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited, 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196.

Tel: (65) 6213 9300, fax: (65) 6285 4871. E-mail: .

Website: www.marshallcavendish.com/genref

The publisher makes no representation or warranties with respect to the contents of this book, and specifically disclaims any implied warranties or merchantability or fitness for any particular purpose, and shall in no event be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damage, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

Other Marshall Cavendish Offices

Marshall Cavendish Corporation. 99 White Plains Road, Tarrytown NY 10591-9001, USA Marshall Cavendish International (Thailand) Co Ltd. 253 Asoke, 12th Flr, Sukhumvit 21 Road, Klongtoey Nua, Wattana, Bangkok 10110, Thailand Marshall Cavendish (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd, Times Subang, Lot 46, Subang Hi-Tech Industrial Park, Batu Tiga, 40000 Shah Alam, Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia

Marshall Cavendish is a trademark of Times Publishing Limited

National Library Board, Singapore Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

Goh, Jolene, 1990

Jolenes story : who says a wayward kid will stay wayward forever?. Singapore : Marshall

Cavendish Editions, c2013.

p. cm.

eISBN 978 981 4408 99 8

1. Goh, Jolene, 1990- 2. Problem youth - Singapore - Biography.

3. Teenage girls - Singapore - Biography. I. Title.

HV1425

362.7083092 -- dc23 OCN810231512

Printed in Singapore by Markono Print Media Pte Ltd

I dedicate this book to my late

grandfather, Mr Wee Hwee Haw, who

loved me unconditionally no matter

what I did. He is my inspiration to rise

above my troubled past and make

something good of myself. I love you,

Ah Gong. You will always have a special

place in my heart.

I also dedicate this book to YOU

for reading my story. May my story

encourage you and keep you strong

through lifes ups and downs.

I am 22 years old, but my unspoken story will make you think twice about the big picture in life.

Does coming from a broken family mean you have to stay broken all your life? I was born an illegitimate child. My father abandoned me, my stepfather sexually abused me, and my mother called me a liar. My stepfather I call him the man of terror used me to satisfy his sexual needs, not once, not twice ... you couldnt count the number of times with your fingers. And I was only in Primary Five when he started his dastardly deeds.

I managed to escape from his clutches. I rebelled. I sniffed glue. I took drugs ... how did I get the drugs and without paying a cent? I stole. I fought. I joined gangs. And I ended up in the Singapore Girls Home. The crimes I did, I felt no guilt when I did them, and I was only venting my anger on innocent people, wanting them to feel as miserable as I was. Joining the gangs, I had support. I felt powerful. I felt that I could be stronger than the man of terror.

I was an Express stream student, but it took me six years to get my O level certificate. You must be wondering why. Do you think I mended my ways after my time in the Home? If you really want to know, open this book and read on. Welcome to my world.

1979: Jose Goh was a drug addict. He met his girlfriend, Katherine, through her brother who was his classmate. He was also her brothers nemesis and she was not allowed to hang out with him. The rebellious teenager that she was, Katherine didnt care.

The school had organised a charity fun fair to raise funds for students with financial difficulties. Katherine sneaked out of her house to go with Jose to the carnival. They had a good time and became inseparable from then on. Back then, they were what people would refer to today as Ah Lian and Ah Beng.

Katherine had been on drugs, cigarettes and alcohol since she was 11 years old. Jose was already by then hooked on drugs. Heroin, cocaine, marijuana he had tried them all. After Katherine became acquainted with Jose, she lost all interest in her studies and told her father she wanted to quit school and get a job. In those days, some parents still thought that education was considered a waste on girls because they were going to be married off anyway.

Having a drug addict boyfriend was a nightmare for Katherine. Jose was frequently in and out of prison. Her family members advised her time and again to end her relationship with him, but she ignored their pleas. The second time after Jose was released from prison, Katherine begged him to quit taking drugs. He agreed and she began to plan a future with him. He even told Katherine that he wanted to have a baby with her.

1989: At age 20, Katherine became pregnant. She was filled with wonderful dreams of herself and Jose bringing up a family together. Thinking that Jose had turned over a new leaf, Katherine did not feel insecure even though Jose had not proposed to her. She knew that Jose was poor and could not afford to give her a proper wedding.

One Sunday, when Jose had gone out to buy lunch for Katherine and her family, she found a small packet in his jeans pocket while sorting out the laundry. She opened it and saw a white powdery substance inside. She prayed silently that it was some talcum powder and not what she thought it was. Then, she took a sniff. Yes, it was heroin.

Rejecting a sob and the immense urge to scream, she wanted to rush downstairs to demand an explanation from Jose. But before she could do so, there was a knock on the door. She opened it and there was Jose, restrained with handcuffs behind his back and flanked by two plainclothes policemen. His face was stricken with guilt and he dared not look into Katherines eyes. He was arrested for possession of drugs and sent to jail. It was the last straw for Katherine and she finally gave up hopes of Jose being her Mr Right. She stared at her parents as they looked back at her with sorrow and pity in their eyes. Then she fell to the floor, wailing and screaming that she would never forgive him. Right then, she knew there would not be a fairy tale ending with Jose.

Months passed. Katherine received several letters from Jose begging for her forgiveness and asking her about their unborn baby. He drew pictures of their baby, imagining how their child would look like. He also drew pictures of a happy family, hand in hand, enjoying a beach outing together.

She wrote to Jose only once and it was to tell him that she no longer wanted to have anything more to do with him. She didnt want to be waiting around as he went in and out of prison. She still loved him, but she had to end their relationship if she wanted a better life for herself and their unborn child.

Jose was released from prison after six months. He went looking for Katherine, hoping to patch up with her. But she did not want to have anything to do with him. They had a heated argument. She told him: Youre not fit to be my daughters father. She deserves better. And so do I! Jose stormed off, vowing to fight for custody of their child.