Michael Bradley - Teenage Kicks: My Life as an Undertone

Copyright 2016 Omnibus Press
This edition 2016 Omnibus Press
(A Division of Music Sales Limited, 14-15 Berners Street, London W1T 3LJ)

EISBN: 978-1-78323-852-1

Cover photographs by Paddy Simms.
Cover designed by Ruth Keating
Picture research by Michael Bradley

The Author hereby asserts his / her right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with Sections 77 to 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

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I really have to write this down before I forget most of it. I mean, just last Wednesday John ONeill couldnt believe that I had no recollection of the time Special Branch officers came in to the Gaumont Theatre in Southampton to take him away during a soundcheck. It was 1980. He went quietly, which is not a word usually associated with The Undertones soundchecks.

John came back just as quietly, without any charges or publicity or, it seemed, much annoyance. Maybe thats why I cant remember it. He didnt make a big deal out of it.

We didnt make a big deal about anything appearances on Top Of The Pops, tours of the USA with The Clash, faking our drummers death, or wrongful arrests of the man who wrote John Peels all-time favourite record.

There wasnt much fuss either about the way I joined The Undertones. It was August 1974 and Id been hanging round with Vincent ONeill, his brother John, and their friend Billy Doherty. I was just turning 15 and was on a camping holiday with them in Bundoran, a seaside resort in Donegal, when they asked me to join their band. I knew they had a band but also knew there was no sign of anyone actually picking up instruments to play together. It was theoretical at this stage.

I had met Vinny at St Peters High School in Creggan. He impressed me with his enthusiasm and knowledge of pop music. He was the first person to tell me that the new singles chart was counted down on the Johnny Walker show on Radio 1 each Tuesday lunchtime. Id always assumed it was revealed for the first time on Thursday nights Top Of The Pops. Within weeks Vinny had me walking and talking about what was likely to be number one as we went home for our dinner. (We had dinner at lunchtime. We had tea at dinner time. Sometimes we had dinner at dinner time.)

Id get into our house in Creggan Broadway at about half past twelve, get the details of the new chart and would be at the top of Eastway at one oclock waiting to meet Vinny again. Id see him making his way up the hill, sometimes with Eamon Duffy, who, being a year younger and a foot shorter, would be trotting alongside as Vinny pounded on.

On the way back to school we would go through the new entries and the Top 5 the way some people talk about football or horse racing. Would The Glitter Bands Just For You make it the whole way to number one? What about Seasons In The Sun? Does The Six Teens mark the beginning of a slow artistic and commercial decline for The Sweet? (That last question wasnt really asked. But its worth a discussion 40 years later.)

I used to volunteer opinions about the records but if Vinny or anyone else at St Peters disagreed Id be more than happy to change those same opinions. I didnt like the new direction Mud were taking with Lonely This Christmas which pre-dated the Elvis impressions industry by about five years. But if Vinny or Kieran Quigg or Christopher Tierney liked it, then I discovered that maybe it wasnt too bad after all.

I have kept this ability to change with the prevailing winds of opinion to this very day.

Maybe that wasnt a bad thing when it came to making records, or decisions, with The Undertones. I could always be relied on to be in the middle, to see both sides, to recognise merit in many things. Which is another way of saying I was like that character in the Fast Show who tried to take part in the Pick your all time England football team pub discussion and always agreed with the last person talking. Who bears the impression of the last person sitting on them. Or maybe it isnt. I dont know, what do you think?

Ill give you an example.

The day Ronald Reagan was shot we were having a band meeting in Feargal Sharkeys living room. One had nothing to do with the other but surely you can remember where you were on March 22, 1981?

We had gathered in our singers home to discuss our drummer. Billy Doherty had decided he wanted to leave the band but then changed his mind the next day. This was more than the usual declaration of unhappiness that most of us had gone through, which would be quietly forgotten about after a day or two. Billy had actually arranged for a lawyer to draw up whatever legal documents were needed for drummers leaving punk bands. The lawyer had those documents in his briefcase alongside a record contract from EMI which would get us an advance of 175,000. Billy signed the deal, then signed himself out of the band at that same meeting in the Post House Hotel at Heathrow. We had flown in from Derry especially to sign the deal and flew back home straight afterwards. All of us except Billy, who disappeared for the day into the wilds of London.

The next morning, I was having a lie-in when my mother woke me.

Billy Dohertys at the front door.

I got up, got dressed, went down and, sure enough, she was right.

Im not sure why we describe someones expression as sheepish when theyre actually being brave enough to admit theyre wrong. But Ill use it in this case. Billy was sheepish as he said that he wanted back in the band. I didnt invite him in. Not because I was angry (I wasnt) but because he wanted to go and I wanted my breakfast.

As he had signed away the deeds to his drumming stool, he needed us to agree to allow him back in. But Feargal and Damian (on lead guitar) didnt want him back.

A lot of things had happened over the previous two years, which seemed much more important then than they do now. It probably sounds really callous and cold hearted for two friends to even contemplate excluding one of their group from the one thing he loved doing. But I (the one who sees both sides, who changes his opinions with the blowing wind, remember?) knew why they were doing it. They felt that sometimes he was more trouble than he was worth when I get round to telling you some of the things that had happened, you might even be on their side. Thankfully The Undertones werent a TV reality show, or Billy could have been voted out by the viewers.

On the other side of the argument was John ONeill, the main songwriter and the leader of the band. I wonder if leader is the right word? We werent Alexanders Ragtime Band and John wasnt standing in front waving a baton, but he was Damians older brother and, to the rest of us, he definitely carried the most authority. He carried it uncomfortably, though.