Mary Lou Sullivan - Everythings Bigger in Texas: The Life and Times of Kinky Friedman

Copyright 2017 by Mary Lou Sullivan

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, without written permission, except by a newspaper or magazine reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review.

Published in 2017 by Backbeat Books

An Imprint of Hal Leonard LLC

7777 West Bluemound Road

Milwaukee, WI 53213

Trade Book Division Editorial Offices

33 Plymouth St., Montclair, NJ 07042

Lyrics from Schwinn 24, Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed, Ride Em Jewboy, and Waitret, Please Waitret used by permission of Kinky Friedman.

Printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Sullivan, Mary Lou author.

Title: Everythings bigger in Texas : the life and times of Kinky Friedman /

Mary Lou Sullivan.

Description: Montclair, NJ : Backbeat Books, 2017. | Includes bibliographical

references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017017303 | ISBN 9781495058967

Subjects: LCSH: Friedman, Kinky. | Country musicians--United

States--Biography.

Classification: LCC ML420.F845 S85 2017 | DDC 782.421642092 [B] --dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017017303

www.backbeatbooks.com

To Kinky Friedman for trusting and believing in me and for giving me a rare glimpse into the heart and soul of a sweet guy named Richard Friedman

Contents

Ill be honest with you. I havent read this book. Dont get me wrong. I hear great things about it. But Im currently on page 907 of Winston Churchills A History of the English-Speaking Peoples and I could go into a diabetic coma at any time. You see, all misunderstood geniuses read Churchill. Yet if God punished me by making me a misunderstood genius, He rewarded me by commanding that I write the foreword to my own biography. I must report, however, that I havent been paid yet. Gods check is still in the mail.

Nevertheless, the opportunity to write the foreword to a biography of yourself is probably something every self-absorbed asshole on the planet would indubitably jump at. I, of course, am no exception. For one thing, I want to demonstrate to people that I am not dead; Im just not currently working on a project.

I am now seventy-two years old though I read at the seventy-four-year-old level. Soon enough I will be dead and then people may start to take me more seriously, even though most of my work has been ghostwritten by J. K. Rowling. Actually, if Id thought about it, I might have asked J. K. Rowling to write this foreword. The downside of that, Im afraid, would be that about a trillion tri-polar twelve-year-olds would illegally download my story.

Therefore, Ive decided to leave my life in the capable hands of my biographer, Mary Lou Sullivan. Mary Lou has in her possession the private notes of my shrink, Willie Nelson. She can corroborate the salient information that transpired in our conversation of a year ago. It was about three oclock in the morning when Willie called me. Willie was in Hawaii. I was at the ranch in Texas.

Whatre you doing? said Willie.

Im watching Matlock , I said.

Thats a sure sign of depression, he said. Turn it off and start writing, Kinky. Start writing.

Inspired by Willie, I wrote fourteen new songs which I sometimes refer to as The Matlock Collection. A few months ago I called Willie and told him about the songs. He suggested I send them to him, which I did. Then he said, By the way, Kinky, what channel is Matlock on?

I have no regrets about what I told Mary Lou or what she may have written. Like I say, theres a fine line between fiction and nonfiction and I believe Jimmy Buffett and I snorted it in 1976.

Now all I have to do is finish this foreword before the attorneys for the hare serve papers on the tortoise at the finish line. What makes things worse is that the e key on my typewriter appears to be going out. When the e key goes out, youre basically fucked. It doesnt matter if youre writing a foreword to your own biography or a love letter to Anne Frank. When the e key goes out, the only thing you can be thankful for is that youre not e.e. cummings.

And, yes. I do plan to read this book. They tell me its great. But they say the foreword could use a little work.

Kinky Friedman

April 7, 2017

Somewhere in Texas

To Kinky, who shared a heapin helping of Texas hospitality, walks with the Friedmans (his dogs) to Wallace Creek, clippings from his night-blooming cereus, and his cowboy culinary talents during my overnight visits to his ranch. You allowed me to push you well beyond your comfort zone with my questions during our interviews and for that Im grateful.

Warm thanks to Kinkys friends, family, fellow musicians, and Echo Hill Ranch campers who generously shared their time and memories: Hank Alrich, Dan Aykroyd, Ruth Buzzi, Brian Skycap Adams Clarke, Randy Rainbow Colors Cullers, Dylan Ferrero, Danny Panama Red Finley, George Commander Cody Frayne, Roger Friedman, Meyer Goldberg, Cleve Hattersley, Will Hoover, Ken Snakebite Jacobs, Kacey Jones, Corky Laing, Roger McGuinn, John McCall, Brian Molnar, Valerie Monson, Van Dyke Parks, Ron Rakoover, Joe Rude, Billy Joe Shaver, Jeff Little Jewford Shelby, Larry Ratso Sloman, Shawn Siegel, Michael Simmons, Nancy Cousin Nancy Simons, Bob Daddy-O Wade, and Chuck E. Weiss. And to Shakespeare, the rescue cat that rescued me.

To the photographers and artists who generously shared their work: Bruce Asato, Beverly Cusimano, Bob Daemmrich, Augusta Girard, Gary Glade, Cleve Hattersley, Ken Hoge, Brian Kanof, Kink Kume, Ron McKeown, Melinda Joy Moore, Ray Navage, Micael Priest, Bill Records, Marcia Resnick, Leslie Rouffe, Jeff Little Jewford Shelby, Cleveland Storrs, Lisa Wade, and Jay Willie. Special thanks to the William J. Clinton Presidential Library, the Mark Twain House & Museum, Texas Monthly, and Brian Kanof, who drove 500 miles to provide clear images of Kinkys photos that were encased in glass.

To the editors, agent, and Mark Twain scholar who shed light on Kinkys life as a writer: Chuck Adams, Esther Newberg, Jeff Nichols, and Brian Sweany.

To the filmmakers, music industry professionals, and political insiders who generously shared their insights: Bill Arhos, Steve Barri, Bill Brownstein, Simone DeVries, Chuck Glaser, Jim Glaser, Bill Hillsman, James Mazzeo, and Dave Wilkes.

For help with logistics: Dan Beck, Cathy Casey, Vinny Cervoni, Louis Glaser, Mallory Howard, Jacques Lamarre, Greg Lew, Gary Moore, Lincoln Myerson at McCabes Guitar Shop, Gerald Peary, Kent Perkins, Herbert Ragan, Detlef Schmidt, Tony Simons, and Pete Souza. Special thanks to Jay Willie for taking me to see Kinky at the Turning Point Caf in New York, a show that proved to be a turning point in my life.

To my agent, Lloyd Jassin, who played Kinkys records on WBCR at Brooklyn College and decades later sealed the deal (and established my credibility) smoking cigars and hanging out with Kinky after a show in New Jersey.

For their vision, passion, and enthusiasm for the project: John Cerullo, Bernadette Malavarca, and Steven Thompson, my dream team at Backbeat Books.

To my dear writer/musician friendsTom Guerra and Tom Smithwho cleared their schedules to provide input on my final manuscript. I couldnt do it without you.