Craig David - Whats Your Vibe?: Tuning into your best life

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First published by Ebury Press in 2022

Copyright BTDI LTD, 2022
Cover photograph Rankin 2022

The moral right of the author has been asserted

Cover image Rankin | rankin.co.uk
Cover design by Kieron Lewis | Kieronlewis.com
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ISBN: 978-1-473-59311-4

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This is for all of you who have been with me for the last 22 years, and for all of you who are just tuning in.

How are you feeling? Are you happy? Calm? On top of things? At one with the world? If so, stop reading for a moment and close your eyes. Tune in. Take a deep breath and, as you breathe out, just feel how nice it is to be in this vibration those are good vibes.

Maybe, though, the answer isnt so straightforward and you arent feeling calm or at one with things. Maybe somethings a bit off. Maybe you feel an external niggle, like an arrangement you made that later youd rather not be a part of, or a wave of uncertainty, or something has left you feeling edgy or anxious. Or perhaps those moments when youre calm and happy and life is smooth have become few and far between.

If any of these scenarios chime with you, then chances are that youre out of balance and you may need to do some realigning to get back into the flow of your good vibes.

When Im out of flow and feeling disconnected from my good vibes, life gets hard. I can feel mentally, and physically, drained and spiritually empty like all the drum beats, basslines and harmonies thatve been keeping me tuned and alive to the world, connected and excited and wide-eyed, have stopped and the music is silenced.

Ive been there many times, but Ive come out the other side again. While my sense of balance can still be a bit off from time to time, what Ive learned is that if Im connected to what makes me feel alive mentally, physically and spiritually, then I feel more optimistic, clear and purposeful. And instead of putting off my joy to some future event, Im more present and happy in this moment.

Over the last 22 years, through all the beautiful times and through all the wonky times, I have met success, Ive met failure; Ive met adulation, Ive met humiliation; Ive been chubby, Ive been at peak fitness; Ive been surrounded by people, yet at the same time deeply lonely; Ive been riding the crest of the wave, but inside crashing down to the bottom of the sea.

And through all of this, my vibes have been uber-positive. Ive been the one with the biggest smile, the one with the can-do attitude, the one who always wants to make it nice for everyone around me. If you had a problem, you could always count on me to spin the most optimistic, most positive answer, to put myself out as far as I could go to solve it even if I was walking on shaky ground or the solution came at great cost to me.

Ive learned that there is a different way to be.

But, over the past few years since an injury caused me to re-evaluate everything that Id held to be true; since allowing myself time to learn, to reflect, to open my eyes to whats around me Ive learned that there is a different way to be. That reframing negative situations or uncomfortable moments as positive, was, at times, a mechanism to avoid going deeper. That sometimes moments arent positive and, however you want to reframe them, its important to sit with the truth for a moment and, within that, as you relinquish control, theres profound wisdom. Thats the reframing, because you are honouring the actual situation rather than sweeping the discomfort under the carpet.

I am now in a place where I can be true to myself, but it hasnt always been this way. This is not a traditional memoir, and its not a self-help book either. Instead, its a series of lessons learned from a life lived, many of which Ive only realised in retrospect after all, it is only through living that we can learn and grow.

I, in no way, have all the answers Im still learning, still making mistakes, but I feel ready now after a lot of twists and turns along the way to share my journey with you.

This, then, is my story of how I have learned to tune into my best life.

Up until 22 March 2018, my positive vibes were so dazzling theyd have blinded you. Being positive was in my blood, coursing through my veins. I was the guy who, however he was feeling on the inside, always said yes; always brought the good vibes to the party; was always up for it, a boundless, frenetic ball of optimism. I was feeling creative, confident and bold, open to new opportunities and new collaborations, and the music what I loved was flowing. But this all changed one chilly New York morning at the ABC studios, just as I was about to go on Good Morning America to perform my latest single I Know You, when those vibes came crashing down so hard, the lights went out.

Something was off the night before in the hotel gym, when Id felt this niggle in my back something I hadnt felt before and put down to all the travelling and lack of sleep in between performances. With an early start the following morning and my obsessive adherence to my training, I hadnt had time to think about it until I was alone in my dressing room. My vibes were wonky. Not because this was a live gig in front of millions of people, syndicated across the US, or because this was a big deal for me, for my team, a lot was at stake. It was because these nervy pains were now radiating down my back and, even though I was doing stretches, my hands down on the floor, legs extended, I wasnt getting any relief. The constant coming and going of studio staff, in and out of my room is there anything we can get you?; sign this form; make-up will be ready for you in ten; sound check in twenty was making me feel anxious and super-triggered. Ironically, on the TV in my dressing room, a couple were talking about the drug they were taking for their back pain, the same back pain apparently felt by millions of Americans, and all I could think was: whatever it is, load me up.

My vibes were wonky.

Knowing that I had 15 more minutes to try to decompress my back, I was becoming more and more anxious. As I lay on the floor trying one last attempt to ease my back nerves, there was another knock at the door that was so loud it felt as though the whole door was about to come off its hinges. I was met by a frantic studio runner who had come to tell me that it was my last call and to make my way to the stage. Jumping up (which, by the way, was not a good idea), I rushed along a tight corridor, a stones throw away from the raised stage I was about to perform on, and was told to hold there for a moment while my in-ear monitors were placed over my head and a microphone put in my hand. I felt overwhelmed by the frantic movements of the studio crew, people shouting instructions to one another and then, suddenly, I heard, Craig, youre on in one minute; you need to get into position