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Brian A. Primack - You Are What You Click: How Being Selective, Positive, and Creative Can Transform Your Social Media Experience

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An empowering, forward-thinking solution for creating intentional and healthy social media habits from an expert on media, technology and health.
Internationally acclaimed behavioral scientist and social media expert Brian Primack, MD, PhD, believes we do not need to swear off social media, delete all our online accounts, or give up our phones to live healthier, happier lives. In You Are What You Click, he offers a new approach to digital wellness, and a realists perspective on how what we consume online affects our well-being. In response, he presents a social media pyramid that personalizes our tech diet so we can enjoy a fruitful, balanced relationship with social media.
While many of us turn to social media looking for a sense of connection and comfort, the data show that it may paradoxically leave us feeling more alone and depressed. Drawing on over twenty years of original research, Dr. Primack explains the fascinating nuances of our relationship with social media, its impact on our mental health, and the dangers of social media using us instead of the other way around. He empowers us to take back control with a simple method: being more selective, positive, and creative with our lives online.
Dr. Primack introduces surprising strategies you can use right away to fine-tune your online experience and discover your definition of digital balance. Through short, actionable chapters, youll learn how to:
Tailor your social media use to your personality.
Select positive relationships over toxic ones.
Overcome comparison syndrome and the fear of missing out.
Fill your feed with meaningful, humorous, and uplifting content.
Optimize your news intake and resist doomscrolling.
Improve your sleep, create tech holidays, and more.
With innovative strategies for managing technology, youll transform your relationship with tech and discover how to make social media work for you.
You Are What You Click offers a science-backed approach from a credentialed doctor: Dr. Brian Primack has an MD and a PhD in Education and Behavioral Science. Primack is the go-to expert on this topic. His work on the intersection of media and health has been cited nearly 6,000 times in peer-reviewed scholarly literature, and he has been featured in major media outlets across the world.
FOR WELLNESS READERS, PARENTS, AND ANYONE WHO USES SOCIAL MEDIA: Dropping off the digital map or deleting all our social media accounts isnt the only optionand often isnt something we feel ready to do. Rather than digital abstinence, with Primacks 3-step plan, tech lovers will be able to understand how to regulate their online social platforms in healthier ways.
A BALANCED PERSPECTIVE ON TECHNOLOGY AND SOCIAL MEDIA IN A POSITIVE LIGHT: Almost every book in this genre portrays technology in a negative or even scary way. With this book, readers will learn how to adjust and balance their presence online with a personalized plan they can use across all platforms, no matter what new social media app goes public next. Primack offers an empowering solution that is forward-thinking, and will continue to be relevant as technology becomes more immersed into our lives.
QUICK, PRACTICAL ADVICE:You Are What You Click is broken into short, actionable chapters that allow readers to understand the research, take action, and see resultsperfect for short attention spans whittled down by Facebook and Instagram stories, Twitter, Snapchat, and TikTok!
FOR FANS OF PERSONALITY BOOKS: Fans of books like The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery and The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles that Reveal How to Make Your Life Better will love the personality quiz and personalized solutions Primack offers for being selective, creative, and healthy with social media use.

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Copyright 2021 by Brian Primack All rights reserved No part of this book may - photo 1
Copyright 2021 by Brian Primack All rights reserved No part of this book may - photo 2
Copyright 2021 by Brian Primack.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available.
ISBN 978-1-7972-0364-5 (pb)
ISBN 978-1-7972-0366-9 (epub)
Design by Brooke Johnson.
Typesetting by Maureen Forys, Happenstance Type-O-Rama.
Typeset in Mercury Text, Aktiv Grotesk, and Tiempos Headline.
This book contains advice and information relating to health and interpersonal well-being. It is not intended to replace medical or psychotherapeutic advice and should be used to supplement rather than replace any needed care by your doctor or mental health professional. While all efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this book as of the date of publication, the publisher and the author are not responsible for any adverse effects or consequences that may occur as a result of applying the methods suggested in this book.
Chronicle books and gifts are available at special quantity discounts to corporations, professional associations, literacy programs, and other organizations. For details and discount information, please contact our premiums department at corporatesales@chroniclebooks.com or at 1-800-759-0190.
Chronicle Prism is an imprint of Chronicle Books LLC,
680 Second Street, San Francisco, California 94107
www.chronicleprism.com
For my parents, my children, and my soul mate
Table
of
Contents
Introduction
It was a Saturday morning in PittsburghOctober 27, 2018and I was making bagels from scratch. Outside was a crisp but sunny day, and I had somehow convinced the kidsages eleven and fourteen at the timeto stay home and help me make brunch for some friends who were visiting from out of town.
I know what youre thinking. Why bother to make bagels from scratch?
Even though we easily could have strolled up the street to an Einsteinsthey have the complex kneading and boiling process downshaping the dough into floppy rings with my kids had this remarkable way of slowing down time. It gave us all a moment to pause from our phones, and it signaled the transition out of a busy week. Though, in todays world, our phones never stay silent for long.
Ding. When the first text came through, we didnt think much of it. Receiving a vague message about staying inside if you were in Squirrel Hillour Pittsburgh neighborhoodwasnt particularly alarming. I kept kneading.
But a few minutes later, another ding. As my wife looked down at her phone, I noticed her face contort with tears. I ran over. What? I asked quietly. She shook her head and swallowed. She was barely able to mouth the words: Tree of Life. Seven dead so far.
Tree of Life was the building where our Jewish congregation called Dor Hadash met. We might have been there for that Saturdays morning service had we not been preparing brunch for our guests. My wife and daughter had been there the prior week. Its a lay-led congregation, so I led services and study groups frequently.
A gunman had entered the synagogue, shouted, All Jews must die, and opened fire. By the end of the rampage, eleven were dead and several were severely wounded, including law enforcement officials who were finally able to subdue the attacker. The gunman was brought to a local hospital and cared for by Jewish doctors.
The next few weeks of our livesas a family and as a congregationwere focused on acute management of the situation. Funerals for the dead. Hospital visits for those who were critically injured. Vigils and meetings. Supporting the families of the deceased. Helping the traumatized.
As things started to go back to normal, I found myself frequently returning to the question of what role social media had played in these events. As a doctor and researcher, I study the relationships among media, technology, and health. Now, this tragic incident brought these issues to me in a way I had never experienced so immediately.
It quickly became clear from news reports that the shooter had leveraged a particular social media platform, Gab, to gain support and encouragement for his anti-Semitic views and violent tendencies. The last thing he did before beginning his rampage was to send a message to his followers on that platform, saying, Im going in.
Of course, we will never know what this person would have done if he hadnt had support from people on that platform, but an argument can be made that his experiences on social media facilitated the incident.
On the other hand, as my community navigated its immense grief, social media became a crucial avenue for healing. Resources and support poured in from thousands of people all over the world. The sharing of information over social media led to remarkable acts of generosity and healing. For example, within days, the Muslim community raised enough funds to pay for all eleven funerals. My family and other members of our congregation received beautiful, heartfelt messages from people we had not spoken with in yearsand from others we did not knowfrom across the globe. Would this compassion have been transmitted to this extent without social media?
Obviously, tragedies like this are shaped by many, many factors, including the availability of deadly weapons, hateful rhetoric from societal leaders, and the ongoing impact of complex historical events. But todays media and technology can powerfully amplify and facilitate the dangerous messages and beliefs that lead to violent actions.
A New Approach to Digital Wellness
For the better part of two decades, I considered writing a book about our relationship with social media and digital technology. The desire intensified whenever my research team came out with a new study on a risk or benefit of technologyor when one of my patients described how technologies like these have influenced their health.
But after the Tree of Life shooting, I felt an increased urgency. This tragic event and the outpouring of support in the aftermath showed mewith a clarity I never had before, even after twenty years of researchhow social media and related technologies have become the sharpest double-edged sword of our era. On a daily basis, social media can catalyze connection, warmth, and generosity. On the other hand, it can breed feelings of depression, isolation, anxiety, and hatred.
More than ever, everyonefrom children to young adults to the elderlymust deal with the consequences of painful tradeoffs related to social media. Because the way we use social media can negatively affect our health, many people have felt that the only solution is to stay offline as much as possible, to delete the apps, and to live life in the moment without constantly recording it.
But for most people, complete digital abstinence is not an option. We work with social media. We rely on social media for information and connection. We also realize that social media platformsdespite their challenges and drawbacksare remarkable innovations that can improve our lives if we use them in the right way.
Take, for example, how technology benefited so many people during the 2020 coronavirus pandemic. Covid-19 thrust our worldquite suddenlyinto previously unknown territory. Many people were directly affected: They lost their jobs, loved ones, or both. Even those not directly affected experienced dramatic shifts in their routines, along with increased confusion, uncertainty, and anxiety.
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