Rob A. Okun - Voice Male: The Untold Story of the Pro-Feminist Mens Movement

Advance praise for

VOICE MALE

Rob Okun is a founding father of the profeminist mens movement in this country. His important book combines decades of boots-on-the-ground activism with worldlywise psychological insight, presenting the voices of men also fighting the good fight. Profound, inspiring, and full of surprises, this anthology is a must read for anyone committed to peace.

Mark Matousek, author of Ethical Wisdom : The Search for a Moral Life

Here is a book for women to feel hopeful about men. Longtime editor of Voice Male magazine Rob Okun and a chorus of writers tell the story of a movement of men standing with women in the struggle to end violence against women. But this brave book does more, revealing an emerging man culture where men are reclaiming their tears and their hearts as they join women in creating a world where we are all safe and free.

Eve Ensler, playwright of The Vagina Monologues , author of In the Body of the World, founder of Vday

When your children and grandchildren ask what men were doing when women were changing the world, tell them to pick up this book. Voice Male tells the story of menacross class, race, and sexual orientationwho responded to feminism not defensively but with support. Voice Male deserves a place alongside such classics as Sisterhood is Powerful and The Feminist Papers .

Jackson Katz, PhD., author of The Macho Paradox and creator of the awardingwinning film Tough Guise

Voice Male chronicles the contemporary profeminist mens movement, providing a documentary record of activism, engagement, and personal reflection At its best, VM is a journey, not a destination, a shared space in which men can listen to each other, listen to the women who shared their experiences in its pages, and, most of all, feel heard by others. It is also a place to explore the meaning of gender equality, or feminism, in our personal lives, offering painful self-reflection, some exhilarating, and some merely an exhale into a richer emotional life.

Michael Kimmel, author of Manhood in America, Guyland, and Angry White Men, from the Foreword

Rob Okun and his colleagues offer a striking rationaleprofeminismto address the powerlessness, shame, and patriarchal values that underpin abusive behavior. This book recasts the struggle to produce better boys and men and should provoke the thinking of every professional charged with keeping our families and communities strong and safe.

Eli H. Newberger, M.D., Pediatrician and author of The Men They Will Become: The Nature and Nurture of Male Character

In chronicling the commitment of anti-sexist men, Rob Okun continues his long legacy of redefining American manhood. This book helps feminists and their male allies to deconstruct patriarchy, shifting the paradigm of what it means to be a real man. Voice Male is both a guide and a searchlight for future generations of boys and men.

Byron Hurt, director of I Am A Man: Black Masculinity in America and Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes

Thank you to Rob Okun for chronicling a better waywhere men are recognizing their humanity, reconnecting their hearts to their heads, vanquishing stereotypes, and proving themselves healthier role models. At long last, there is hope for my son and daughters generation.

Jennifer Siebel Newsom, filmmaker, Miss Representation and The Mask You Live In

This book is a critical tool in dismantling whats oppressive in male culture.

Renner Wunderlich and Margaret Lazarus, producer/directors of the Academyaward winning Defending Our Lives, Rape Is, and Rape Culture.

Voice Male inspires men to think more deeply about what it means to be a man. From working to end gender-based violence to examining their roles as partners and fathers, its an invaluable tool for removing obstacles keeping men from reclaiming their full humanity.

Judy Norsigian, coauthor, executive director Our Bodies Ourselves

We are unaware of some of the most powerful ideas that shape our lives because they seem second nature, obvious. Which is all the more reason to hold them up for scrutiny, to see what they really are. Masculinity is one of those ideas, and anyone looking for a place to begin this journey of discovery can do no better than this book.

Allan Johnson, author of The Gender Knot: Unraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy and Privilege, Power and Difference.

Why are almost all the stone throwers in the world male? How do boys become men? What does it mean to be a man? What happens when men come together without women? Can you imagine men building a beloved community? Maybe it begins with Voice Male a manual for good living [and] a book thinking about answers.

E. Ethelbert Miller, director of Howard Universitys African American Resource Center, and author of Fathering Words

Insights about changing men are abundant in Voice Male and this comprehensive book is essential reading for anyone wanting to understand those changes. Rob Okun and his contributors make a compelling case for men not only challenging violence against women but also for challenging themselves to be better men.

Sut Jhally, Ph.D., professor of communication, UMass-Amherst, founderexecutive director, Media Education Foundation

First published in 2014 by

INTERLINK BOOKS
An imprint of Interlink Publishing Group, Inc.
46 Crosby Street, Northampton, Massachusetts 01060
www.interlinkbooks.com

Copyright Rob Okun, 2014
Foreword copyright Michael S. Kimmel, 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Voice male : the untold story of the profeminist men's movement / edited by Rob A. Okun ; foreword by Michael Kimmel. --First edition.
pages cm

ISBN 978-1-56656-944-6 (hardback) -ISBN 978-1-56656-972-9 (paperback)
1. Men's movement. 2. Masculinity. 3. Feminism. I. Okun, Rob A.
HQ1090.V65 2013
305.32--dc23

2013032689

Cover images, Silhouette of men Jana Kopilova |Dreamstime.com
Cover design: Julian Ramirez
Book design and production: Pam Fontes-May

Printed and bound in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To request our complete 48-page, full-color catalog, please call us toll free at 1-800-238-LINK, visit our website at www.interlinkbooks.com, or send us an e-mail: info@interlinkbooks.com

In memory of my father, Joseph Okun, the first man to teach me about tenderness and tears.

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and placesand there are so manywhere people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we dont have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.