Maggie Hartley - The Little Ghost Girl

It was seeing the little Babygros that got to me the most. As I pulled them out of the tumble dryer and folded them into neat piles on the bed, thats when it hit me that shed gone.

Just over a week ago Id said goodbye to fourteen-month-old Daniella. Id been a foster carer for a decade now and no matter how many times Id gone through it, it was always upsetting when a child left. Especially when it was a baby like Daniella as you couldnt help but get attached to them. Shed been with me since she was three months old and I couldnt have loved her any more if she had been my own child.

Dont get me wrong, I was delighted that shed found a forever family and the couple who were adopting her were lovely but it didnt stop me from missing her desperately. For the past few days Id put off sorting through her old things but now Id finally got round to washing the piles of baby clothes, cot bedding and blankets so I could put them back into storage in the loft until the next baby came along.

Thankfully I didnt have time to dwell on my feelings as I was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Hi, darling, called a voice through the glass. Thought Id pop round and see how you are.

It was my friend Vicky who was also a foster carer. She lived nearby so wed often go round to each others houses for a cuppa and a catch-up.

Oh, Im fine, I said, opening the front door and letting her in. I was just having a moment looking through Daniellas old things but Im OK now.

Vicky knew exactly what it was like when a child left. Wed both been through it so many times before and it was only natural to feel a bit low for a few days afterwards.

Hows she getting on? she asked. Have you heard anything?

Ive had a few texts and apparently shes settled in really well.

Ahh, bless her, she said. She deserves it.

Like most of the children who I fostered, Daniella hadnt had the best start in life. Her parents were both drug addicts and they could barely look after themselves, never mind a baby, so shed been badly neglected for the first few months of her life. Shed come to me filthy, covered in sores from not having her nappy changed regularly, and was listless and unresponsive. By the time she left, she was a chubby, smiley little girl whod started walking and was as bright as a button.

Im going to miss having a baby in the house, I sighed.

I loved all the cuddles, the fun and the playing.

How have Louisa and Lily taken it? asked Vicky.

Oh, they miss her too, I said. Its really strange it being the three of us again.

Lily was five and Id been fostering her for the past two years. Shed been taken into care because her father was an alcoholic and violent to her mother; however, she refused to leave him. Lily looked like an angel with her big blue eyes and golden ringlets, but her behaviour had certainly been a challenge at first. She had incredible temper tantrums, threw toys and smashed things. But after living with me for a few months, shed gradually started to calm down.