Lurlene McDaniel - Time to Let Go

This isnt right, Erin, Shara muttered. You cant go on this way. How are you ever going to do the play

Erin dug her nails into the blond girls palm. Please, dont say a word to Ms. Thornton, Shara, okay? Not one word.

You know I wont. But I cant stand to see you hurting like this.

I want that part, Shara. And Im not going to let these stupid headaches stop me. She was dizzy now and very nauseous. She braced herself on the car while Shara fumbled with the key.

Even if you have to play opposite David Devlin? Shara asked shakily.

Erin tried to nod, but every movement sent fresh waves of agony shooting through her head. Even that, she whispered, falling across the seat as the door opened.

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Copyright 1990 by Lurlene McDaniel

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ISBN: 0-553-28350-2
eBook ISBN: 978-0-307-77625-9

RL: 5, ages 12 and up

v3.1_r2

Id like to express my appreciation to Roses Colmore-Taylor, M.Ed. of REACH, Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

M ATTHEW 5:4 (KJV)

By your silence I sense that youd rather be anywhere but here talking with me. And Im also assuming it wasnt your idea to come.

Erin Bennett glared at Dr. Roberta Richardson and released an exaggerated sigh. Theres nothing to talk about. I dont need a psychiatrist to pick my brain apart.

Im not a psychiatrist; I dont dispense medications in my practice. Im a professional counselor, a family therapist, and your parents are concerned about you and thought I could help

Help how? Im perfectly fine. Its my parents who need counseling.

Why do you say that?

Because theyre the ones whore making me come here. Theres nothing wrong with me. Its them.

Dr. Richardson pressed her fingertips together and leveled soft brown eyes at Erin sitting on the other side of the polished oak desk. Quietly she said, Perfectly fine seventeen-year-old girls dont have incapacitating, unexplained headaches.

Erin winced, remembering the fierce pain that came on with little warning. The doctors had referred to them as migraines, even though they werent altogether typical of most migraines. Erin didnt care what they called them. She only knew that they were interfering with her senior year at Briarwood. Im sure theres a good explanation, she said stubbornly.

Dr. Richardson opened the manila folder on her desk. According to all the testing youve undergone in the past two months, theres no physiological reason for them. No reasonable medical explanation, Dr. Richardson read from the open file folder. Looks as if they covered everything from brain tumors to epilepsy.

Erin shuddered, remembering how theyd injected dye into her veins and taken endless X-rays of her head while she lay perfectly still on a hard metal table. Like a corpse, she thought. Or a person in a coma. They just havent found the cause yet. Doctors dont know everything. Just because they cant figure it out is no reason to tell my parents that Im some kind of a nut case.

I know youre not a nut case, but arent you concerned about your headaches?

Erin felt her anger and resentment turning into tears, but she held them back. Yes, she whispered, miserably, wanting to add, More than anything. In the past month Erin had gotten sick twice at school and had to go home. Sometimes she had bad dreams in which her head was hurting, and when she awoke, she really did have a severe headache. But Im taking medicine for them, Erin told Dr. Richardson. In the previous few months, Erin had been popping aspirin every day, and when her parents dragged her to a specialist, he gave her stronger pills that relieved the headaches but also wiped her out.

Sometimes medications only relieve symptoms and never deal with the cause, Dr. Richardson continued. Good health is more than treating bodily ailments. Human beings are made up of somabodyand psychesoul. I believe that you shouldnt treat one without treating the other.

Are you saying that my headaches are all in my imagination?

Absolutely not. Theyre real enough. But its important to look at the whole person, not just the malady, before seeking a cure. Dr. Richardson shoved the folder aside and said, Im glad youre here, Erin, and Id like to get to know you better.

Erin felt like saying, I dont want to know you better, but thought better of it. She didnt want her parents coming down on her the way they were always coming down on each other. Her mother was forever working at her boutique, and when she was at home, she was yelling about something or other at her husband.

Erin didnt think her father was doing so great either. He stayed away from the house, using his teachers job at Briarwood as an excuse, but when he was home, he acted so withdrawn that he might as well be gone. Maybe if Amy were still around, things would be different.

It had been a hard summer after Amys death, but with the new school year half-over, life was back to normal. If only her parents would stop their fighting. And if only she didnt have these blasted headaches

Hows school going? Dr. Richardson was asking.

All right, Erin said, forcing herself to concentrate. The topic seemed safe enough, so she continued. Ms. Thorntonshes the dance teacher at Briarwoodannounced today that were doing a joint play production with Berkshire Prep.

The boys school? When?

After Easter.

Dr. Richardson glanced at her desk calendar. Only two months from now. Sounds like a big task. Whats the play?

West Side Story.

The willowy, brown-haired therapist smiled. That was always one of my favorites. I saw the movie five times when it first came out in the sixties. Are you going for a part?

Erin fidgeted with the buttons on her blouse. I love to dance. Id like the leadMaria.

You sound as if you may not try out. Why?

The headaches, she thought, refusing to meet Dr. Richardsons eyes. No reason. I guess Ill go for it. Auditions are next Monday, and the Berkshire drama department is supposed to come to our school for them.

I guess it makes sense to do a joint production. It wouldnt be much fun playing a love scene with a girl dressed up like a guy, would it? Dr. Richardson leaned across the desk and added, I hope whoever gets the role of Tony is gorgeous.

Erin hadnt thought about the male lead until then. It doesnt matter to me. Just so long as hes good.

Do you have a boyfriend? Maybe he wont want you to play opposite some other guy. Would that be a problem?