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Christopher Beha - Arts & Entertainments: A Novel

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Christopher Beha Arts & Entertainments: A Novel
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Handsome Eddie Hartley was once a golden boy poised for the kind of success promised by good looks and a modicum of talent. Now thirty-three, he has abandoned his dream of an acting career and accepted the reality of life as a drama teacher at the boys prep school he once attended. But when Eddie and his wife, Susan, discover they cannot have children, its one disappointment too many. Weighted down with debt, Susans mounting unhappiness, and his own deepening sense of failure, Eddie is confronted with an alluring solution when an old friend-turned-Web-impresario suggests Eddie sell a sex tape he made with an ex-girlfriend, now a wildly popular television star. In an era when any publicity is good publicity, Eddie imagines that the tape wont cause any harm a mistake that will have disastrous consequences and propel him straight into the glaring spotlight he once thought he craved. A hilariously biting and incisive takedown of our cultures monstrous obsession with fame, is also a poignant and humane portrait of a young mans belated coming-of-age, the complications of love, and the surprising ways in which the most meaningful lives often turn out to be the ones we least expected to lead.

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Christopher Beha

Arts & Entertainments: A Novel

To Ally, who changed everything

She is one of fifty thousand, so far as the mere ambition goes; but I am very sure that in the way of resolution and capacity she is a rarity. And in one gift perfect heartlessness I will warrant she is unsurpassed. She has not as much heart as will go on the point of a needle. That is an immense virtue. Yes, she is one of the celebrities of the future.

HENRY JAMES, THE AMERICAN

What characterizes the so-called advanced societies is that they today consume images and no longer, like those of the past, beliefs.

ROLAND BARTHES, CAMERA LUCIDA

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank the Ucross Foundation for a residency during which a draft of this book was completed.

I would also like to thank: Sarah Burnes, Logan Garrison, and everyone at the Gernert Company; Lee Boudreaux, Libby Edelson, Ashley Garland, Dan Halpern, Michael McKenzie, Ben Tomek, Ryan Willard, Craig Young, and Steve Attardo at Ecco; all of my colleagues at Harpers magazine; my family, especially Jim and Nancy Beha, Jim and Alyson Beha, Alice and Len Teti, and Sanny Beha; Lynn, Bob, and Palmer Ducommun and Lindsey and Charlie Schilling, mostly for the grooms cake; Peter and Christine Moyers; and John Carr, Brian DeLeeuw, and Jim Fuerst for invaluable early reads.

If I had not met Alexandra Andrews Beha halfway through the composition of this novel, it would be a far lesser book, as my life would be a far lesser life.

PART ONE

ONE

YOU KNOW WHO I saw on TV last night? John Wilkins asked the small group of old friends surrounding him. Dr. Drake.

Theyd been drinking in the St. Alberts library for less than half an hour, but Eddie was surprised it had taken even that long for the name to come up.

The shows in syndication, he said. Its on every day.

Not Dr. Drake, Wilkins clarified, as though the distinction should have been obvious. Martha. She was on Entertainment Daily talking about her new boyfriend, Rex Gilbert.

Wilkins still had his reddish blond hair and the pale, lightly freckled skin that made him look perpetually young. In the years since Eddie had seen him last, he seemed to have aged only by a slight thickening. He wasnt fat so much as dense.

Shes a big star now, Eddie allowed.

Are you kidding? Wilkins said. Shes all over the place. All the talk shows. Reverberators sexiest list. Must drive your wife nuts.

He said this last part like a joke, though it was true and wasnt funny.

Jesus, Wilky, Justin Price said. Cut the guy a break.

Wilkins waved Justin off.

You still keep up with her?

We havent really talked since she moved out west.

You know who I saw on TV the other day? Justin broke in again. Handsome Eddie Hartley.

He was trying to help, Eddie knew, but in some ways this was worse. The edge of good-natured mockery his old nickname had always carried felt more pointed now. The last thing he wanted was for his acting career to be set beside Marthas.

Is that right? Which of my masterpieces was it?

One of those old Law & Order episodes.

Was I the good guy or the bad guy?

You were some kind of pervert. Putting plastic bags over little girls heads or something like that.

One of my finest roles.

Have you gotten any big parts recently? Tim Reilly asked. Eddie hadnt seen Reilly since their last reunion, so he couldnt blame him for the question.

I gave all that up a few years ago. I just teach now.

Not a bad fucking gig, Wilkins said. Out at four. Summers off. Id take it. Ive been getting killed these days.

Eddie wanted to say that an opening could be found, if it attracted him all that much.

The job does have its perks.

Plus you get scholarships for the kids, right?

I dont have any kids just yet. But in theory, yes.

Lucky bastard. Wilkins laughed, and his cheeks turned red, his freckles seeming to bleed out into the rest of his face. Weve got two, and were already sweating how to get the older one into preschool. Do you know how much that shit costs these days? Even if I make partner in a couple of years, I couldnt pay two St. Alberts tuitions and keep the place on the North Shore. It didnt used to be so expensive to be rich in this town. Now its just the hedge fund guys like Price here who can swing it. Mere professionals need not apply.

Eddie separated himself from the group and walked to the far wall of the library, where a makeshift bar stood beneath a large circular window that looked out on the park. A banner stretched across the window: St. Alberts School Welcomes You Back. Beneath it, the young woman working the bar smiled at Eddie with uncertain recognition, a once-common reaction that had become less so in recent years.

You look familiar, she said as she filled his glass with ice.

Perhaps she was just flirting. That was still common enough.

I know what it is, she added before he could respond. You buy your morning coffee at the Flying Duck Market around the corner. Were the caterers for this thing.

That must be it, Eddie said. Im the drama teacher here.

Thats so funny, she told him. Im an actress.

Eddie wasnt surprised to hear it. She was pretty though not, he reflected, quite pretty enough.

I work at the Flying Duck to pay the bills, she continued.

Eddie tried to think of something encouraging to say.

Thats as good a reason as any to work somewhere.

He took his drink and turned from the bar just in time to see Max Blakeman arrive. Eddies mood immediately lifted at the sight of Blakeman. Hed known what he was in for that night his classmates with their growing families and easy success, the questions about Martha Martin and his own acting career. The one appeal the evening had held was the chance to see Blakeman. Theyd been best friends for years, but it seemed like they hardly spoke these days. Eddie missed him, perhaps more than anything else about his old life. They caught each others eyes as Luce made his first attempt to call the room to order.

If I could have just a moment of everyones time, and then Ill let you get back to catching up with old friends.

Eddie watched with satisfaction as his classmates continued their conversations, barely acknowledging the effort to silence them. George Luce had been a young history teacher when Eddies class was in school. Eddies own mother a secretary at St. Alberts for more than twenty years had handled Luces application to teach at the school. Only Eddie knew him in his role as headmaster, and the others seemed not to understand why they ought to be listening to him.

As some of you know, Luce pressed on, Im the kind of man to whom tradition is a very serious matter. Luce was the kind of man, Eddie thought, who liked to tell people what kind of man he was. Tomorrow, another class will graduate from St. Alberts, Luce continued. This is the sixtieth graduating class in the schools history, and its members will go on to the finest colleges and universities in the nation. I take pride in having guided the tradition of St. Alberts to this auspicious point. The room came slowly to puzzled attention, as though seeking the source of a faint but persistent buzz disturbing the ambience. Just as Luce secured command of his audience, he seemed to lose the thread of his speech. I hope you all have as many fond memories of your time here as we who are still here have of you, he concluded. Now Id like to hand things over to your class president, Justin Price.

In the days leading up to the reunion, Eddie had entertained the idea of saying a few words himself, offering his insiders view of life at St. Alberts these days. That seemed foolish now. As the only member of his class still connected to the schools daily existence, hed considered himself a kind of host that night, but hed played no role in planning the event. Such duties and privileges fell naturally to people like Justin in a position to write checks of some significance to the schools endowment and capital needs.

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