Genki Kawamura - If Cats Disappeared from the World

If cats disappeared from the world, how would the world change? And how would my life change?

And if I disappeared from the world? Well, I suppose nothing would change at all. Things would probably just go on, day after day same as usual.

OK, so youre probably thinking this is all a bit silly, but please, believe me.

What Im about to tell you happened over the past seven days.

Now thats what you call a weird week.

Oh, and by the wayIm going to die soon.

So how did all this happen?

My letter will explain everything.

So it will probably be a long letter.

But Id like you to bear with me till the end.

Because this will be my first and my last letter to you.

Its also my will and testament.

I didnt even have ten things I wanted to do before I die.

In a movie I saw once the heroine is about to die so makes a list of ten things she wants to do before she goes.

What a lot of crap.

OK. So maybe I shouldnt be so harsh. But really, what even goes on a list like that? A load of rubbish probably.

But how can you say that? you might ask.

OK, look, I dont know, but anyway I tried it and it was just embarrassing.

It all started seven days ago.

I had this cold I just couldnt shake, but I kept going to work every day anyway, delivering the mail. I had a slight fever which wouldnt shift, and the right side of my head ached. I was barely keeping it together with the help of some over-the-counter drugs (I hate going to the doctor). But after two weeks of this I caved and wentI just wasnt getting better.

Then I found out it wasnt a cold.

It was, in fact, a brain tumor. Grade 4.

Anyway, thats what the doctor told me. He also told me I had only six months to live, tops. Id be lucky if I made it another week. Then he explained my optionschemotherapy, anticancer drugs, palliative care but I wasnt listening.

When I was little, I used to go to swimming. Id jump into the cold blue water with a splash, and then sink, slowly.

Do a proper warm-up before you jump in! It was my mothers voice. But underwater it was muffled and hard to hear. For some reason this just popped into my headthis strange, noisy memory. Something Id completely forgotten about until now.

Finally the appointment ended.

The doctors words were still hanging in the air as I dropped my bag on the floor and staggered out of the examining room. I ignored the doctors shouts, calling for me to stop, and ran out of the hospital screaming. I ran and ran, slamming into the people I passed, falling over, rolling on the ground and getting up again, throwing my limbs about wildly until I reached the foot of a bridge where I found I could no longer move, and groveling on my hands and knees, let out a sob.

Well, no, thats a lie. Thats not quite how it happened.

The fact is, people tend to be surprisingly calm when they hear news like this.

When I found out, the first thing that occurred to me was that I was only one stamp away from getting a free massage on my loyalty card, and I shouldnt have bothered buying so much toilet paper and detergent. It was the little things which came to mind.

But finally, it hit me: a kind of bottomless sadness. I was only thirty. OK, so that would mean Id have lived longer than Hendrix or Basquiat, but somehow it felt like I had a lot of unfinished business. There must be something, I dont know what, but something on this planet that only I could do.

But I didnt really dwell on any of this. Instead I wandered in a daze until I reached the station. A couple of young men were playing acoustic guitar and singing.

This life will someday have to end, so until that final day arrives,

Do what you want to do, do it, do all you can,

Thats how you face tomorrow.

Idiots. Now thats what you call a complete lack of imagination. Go aheadjust go on and sing your lives away in front of this godawful station.

I was so mad I couldnt take it. It was too much and I had no idea what to do. I took my time getting back to the flat. I clattered up the stairs and opened the flimsy door to the cramped little space which I called home. It was then that the complete hopelessness of it all caught up with me. The outlook was bad. I mean literally, I couldnt see a thingI collapsed right there on the doorstep.

When I woke up I was still lying by the door. God knows how long Id been there for. I could make out a black and white ball with grey patches in front of me. Then the ball made a soundmiaow. Finally I realized it was the cat.

It has been me and him for four years now. He came closer and let out another miaow. I took this as a sign he was worried about me. But hey, I wasnt dead yet, so I sat up. I still had a fever and my head was killing me: I really was sick.

Then suddenly someones chirping from across the room.

So great to meet you!

And there I was. I mean, it was me, standing there, looking at me. Or someone who looked just like me. The word doppelgnger sprang to mind I read something about this sort of thing in a book ages ago. Its another you who appears when youre about to die. Had I finally gone crazy, or was my time already up? My head was starting to spin, but I managed to keep it together. I decided to tackle head on whatever it was standing before me.

Er, so, who are you?

Who do you think?

Uhh, is it the Angel of Death?

Close!

Close?

Im the Devil.

The Devil?

Yes, the Devil!

So thats how, in a slightly surprising way, the Devil appeared in my life.

Have you ever seen the Devil? Well, I have, and the real Devil doesnt have a scary red face or a pointy tail. And theres definitely no pitchfork! The Devil looks just like you. So the real doppelgnger was the Devil!

It was a lot to take in, but what choice did I have? Plus he seemed like a nice guy. So I decided that Id just have to go along with it.

Upon closer inspection I realized that although the Devil looked a lot like me, we couldnt be more different when it came to our sense of style. I tend to dress in basic black and white. For instance, Ill wear black slacks with a white shirt and black jumper. Boring yes, but thats just who I amthe monotone guy. I remember ages ago my mother getting fed upThere you go again buying the same kind of clothes as always, but Id still find myself choosing the same thing whenever I went shopping.

The Devil, though, dressed, um, shall we say, unconventionally? Brightly colored Hawaiian shirts with palm trees or pictures of classic American cars, and he was always in shortslike someone permanently on holiday. And of course, you mustnt forget the sunglasses (probably Ray-Bans). He was dressed as if it were still summer despite the fact it was freezing out. Just as I was about to reach boiling point, the Devil spoke.

So what are you going to do now?

Huh?

I mean, you havent got a lot of time left you know, this life-expectancy thing and all that.

Oh that, right

So what are you going to do?

Oh, well, for the time being maybe Ill think about that list of ten things

You dont mean like that old movie, do you?

Mmm, yeah sort of, I guess

You mean youd really do something as silly and corny as that?

So you think its a bad move?

Well, I mean, sure a lot of people do it, firmly declaring theyll do every last one you know those kind of people, right? Its a kind of phase everyone goes through at least oncethough its not as if you get a second chance!

Holding on to his sides, the Devil let out a huge guffaw.

Sorry, I just cant see the funny side