Price - Being Jordan: My Autobiography

For my mum Amy, Paul, Daniel, Sophie; my son Harvey, my nan, my late granddad Harvey and all my friends and fans who have believed in me all the way

Ive been called a slapper, a tart, a man-eater; a woman who is so desperate for male attention she will do anything to get it.

Ive been told that Im a freak; that Im addicted to plastic surgery; that Ive mutilated my body because I hate how I look.

Ive been described as unstable, insecure, out of control; a drunk.

It has been claimed that Im obsessed with fame and will do anything for publicity.

Worst of all, they say Im an unfit mother.

Journalists write about me as if Im a dumb bimbo. Yes, Im famous for my boobs. So what? Modelling is just my job, and theres more to me than that. Theres a person inside this body.

So who am I? The Jordan of the tabloids who doesnt seem to give a toss and only cares about fame and partying? Or Katie Price, the successful model and single mum who is trying to make the best of things?

Now you can make up your own minds. This is my story, and Ive held nothing back: not the parts Im ashamed of, nor the things I regret. Its all here. My life is in your hands. Judge for yourself.

It was two oclock in the morning and, as usual, I was having trouble sleeping a certain person had just woken me up.

Hey, Pete. I gently shook his arm, wanting him to wake up and share this moment with me, The babys moving again!

I grabbed Petes hand and placed it on my bump, right where the baby was wriggling around. Now the baby was getting bigger there was hardly any room for him to move, but he still managed to be extremely busy in there and keep me awake at night.

Wow! Pete said, as we both felt the baby moving. What was that?

I think its our baby, Pete! I couldnt resist teasing him.

I meant what part of our baby was it!

His foot, I reckon.

We looked at each other and grinned. Then Pete said, I still cant believe that were having a baby.

Well youd better, I laughed. Theres only a few weeks to go!

Pete lay back down next to me, putting his arms around me, enfolding me with his warmth and making me feel so safe and loved. God, I loved this man! Loved him with all my heart. Weve been together for a year-and-a-half and it has been the most wonderful, magical time of my life. I had dreamed of meeting someone like Pete but I had never thought my dream would come true. I closed my eyes and thought for the millionth time how lucky I was I was having a baby with the man I loved and we were getting married. And it was going to be the fairy-tale, full-on Disneystyle wedding that I had always fantasised about having. I had found my happy ever after.

I stroked my tummy, whispering to the baby, Youve got the best daddy in the world and we all love you so much and your brothers going to love you too.

Then I felt a sudden, sharp pang of sadness as I remembered how lonely, how desperate and abandoned I had felt when I was pregnant with my first son, Harvey. I remembered what it was like not having a partner to share the excitement of seeing the baby in the scans, not being able to confide my anxieties about the birth to the babys father, not having anyone to hold me at night and tell me that they loved me and that everything would be all right. And I remembered what it was like going into labour and not knowing if Dwight, the father, would even bother to turn up to see his newborn son. As if sensing my bad thoughts, Pete kissed me, murmuring, Love you, Katie.

Love you too, I whispered back.

All my life I have been looking for love. I longed to meet a man I could fall in love with completely, body, mind and soul. A man I could commit to totally, a man I could respect and trust, a man who would love me for myself, a man I could marry and spend the rest of my life with, a man who would be the father of my children and a father to Harvey. Id almost given up hope of ever meeting him, resigning myself to getting love where I could, never feeling satisfied, always feeling restless, knowing that I hadnt yet found the one.

There has been no shortage of men in my life. Some of them I even thought I was in love with and one I convinced myself that I wanted to marry. Now I look back and realise that it was just infatuation and my own insecurity. I thought I needed them, thought I couldnt survive without the relationship and I let most of them treat me like shit. I wasnt even in love with the father of my child but I still hung around long enough for him to walk all over me and treat me like crap, he even failed to support me while I was pregnant with our child but youll read about that later in the book.

I had a couple of relationships after Harvey was born, even though my priorities had shifted completely. By then I had someone in my life who needed me and depended on me more than I needed any man. But I still wanted the reassurance of having a man hold me in his arms and tell me that he loved me, to tell me how much he wanted me, especially when I received the heartbreaking news that my baby was blind. But the men or rather boys I had chosen to be with were never going to be anything more than a stopgap, even though I told one of them that I loved them too. Deep down, I didnt really mean it. The words came easily but I hadnt given away my heart. I was still waiting for that man who was so special that I would never want anyone else.

Then I met Peter and my life changed forever. I wanted him with an incredible, overwhelming intensity from the moment he walked into the room. The time we spent together in the jungle sealed my fate: I wanted him like I have never wanted anyone else. I was certain that he was the one, the man I had been searching for all my life. I fell passionately, hopelessly, madly in love with him a love which has only deepened and grown stronger the more I have got to know Pete and the closer we have become. In the past, I have fallen for men quickly and dramatically and then fallen out with them just as suddenly. But I guarantee thats not going to happen with Pete.

Its not just about his looks though to me he is the best looking man I have ever been with or have ever seen with his handsome face and his beautiful hazel eyes. And, of course, he has the most gorgeous body in all departments! Lets just say that Im a very, very lucky girl! Sexually, I have definitely found my match.

I love Pete for himself his warm, loving personality, his strength of character and his cheeky sense of humour. I love the fact that hes so passionate and open about his feelings and he makes me feel wanted. I hate being with men who never open up and tell you how they really feel, who are too afraid to show any emotion. Pete knows me better than any other man ever has. He knows how to deal with me and as a result he keeps me on my toes. I could never wrap him around my little finger as I admit that Ive done to quite a few of the other men Ive been out with. Hes totally honest and, if I ever lied to him, hed walk and hed find someone else in an instant. But Ive no need to lie to him and Ive got no secrets from him. For the first time in my relationship history I have met a man who is my equal.

Very fortunately for me, I was the one hed been searching for; otherwise I really dont know what I would have done. And now we are together, I cannot imagine life without him. Hes my best friend, my lover and my soul mate. And I cant wait to say that hes my husband!

But thats another story As for what happened in my life before I found Pete, I dont regret a thing not the good, the bad or the ugly. I truly believe I had to go through all those highs and lows, all those crazy times, all that heartbreak, pain, rejection and bad sex to recognise the real thing when I found it. Now Ive found him, Im never going to let him go