Adams Media - How to Overcome Shyness: Step-by-Step Instructions, Exercises, and Scenarios

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Adams Media

An Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

57 Littlefield Street

Avon, Massachusetts 02322

www.SimonandSchuster.com

Copyright 2017 by Simon & Schuster, Inc.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Adams Media Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Adams Media hardcover edition OCTOBER 2017

ADAMS MEDIA and colophon are trademarks of Simon and Schuster.

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Interior design by Colleen Cunningham

Cover design by Colleen Cunningham

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Adams Media (Firm)

How to overcome shyness / Adams Media.

Avon, Massachusetts: Adams Media, 2017.

LCCN 2017020006 (print) | LCCN 2017032769 (ebook) | ISBN 9781507204979 (hc) | ISBN 9781507204986 (ebook)

LCSH: Bashfulness. | Self-confidence.

LCC BF575.B3 (ebook) | LCC BF575.B3 .H689 2017 (print) | DDC 155.2/32--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017020006

ISBN 978-1-5072-0497-9

ISBN 978-1-5072-0498-6 (ebook)

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Simon & Schuster, Inc., was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

Contains material adapted from the following title published by Adams Media, an Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.: The Shyness Solution by Catherine Gillet, LCSW, copyright 2013, ISBN 978-1-4405-5868-9.

CONGRATULATIONS FOR CHOOSING to embark on this journey of transforming your shyness into strength. As you practice the exercises in this book, you will solve your shyness. Give yourself a giant pat on the back for your determination and motivation. And remember, fear of failure is a natural and perfectly normal response for all of us when we venture into new territory. You have made a decision and choice to change your life for the better and you will succeed. You are not aiming for perfection here. The only thing required of you for success is a willingness to try. If you have a setback or disappointment, great! Youve now joined the rest of the world. Keep in mind that every difficult situation you encounter is an opportunity for growth and greater self-awareness. And now you have chosen to look at your life in a hopeful, optimistic way.

Once you have set the course of your life in a positive direction, there is no turning back. You have nothing to lose besides your feelings of isolation, sadness, and pain. You are entitled to have the life you want. You deserve to be joyful and content with who you are. Living a rich, full, and meaningful existence is your birthright. Go for it!

SHYNESS AS YOUVE come to experience it has been painful and you may even have felt hopeless about the possibility of changing this aspect of your personality. The good news is that you will soon come to see yourself differently. Before we move ahead with the steps to transform this externally imposed concept, which you have come to believe is your primary identity, it will be helpful for you to have a gauge of your shyness. It will assist in tailoring the exercises and suggestions to your personal style and comfort level.

Chances are you have seen or taken lots of this type of quiz. Circle a, b, or c for the answer that reflects the way you are most likely to respond to the given situation. Your shyness quotient will be tallied at the end of the questionnaire.

Do you feel nervous in situations where you will be meeting new people?

a. Never.

b. Sometimes.

c. Always.

Do you find yourself wishing you had more friends?

a. Never.

b. Sometimes.

c. Always.

Youre walking along and you see a friend walking toward you with someone you dont know. Would you:

a. Greet both and converse for a few minutes before saying goodbye and moving on?

b. Wave as you walk by hurriedly, making it clear you have no intention of stopping?

c. Duck into the closest store in order to avoid them?

Do you tend to feel most comfortable:

a. With a few people you are close to?

b. With one good friend?

c. Alone?

Which scenario sounds most inviting to you?

a. Having a few people over for a quiet dinner.

b. Going out to a restaurant with one or two friends.

c. Having dinner alone while you watch an old movie.

When you go to a party, are you the guest most likely to:

a. Be one of the last to leave?

b. Leave when most of the other guests do?

c. Leave early?

You are on a long flight and the person next to you seems to obviously want to talk. Do you:

a. Engage in the conversation?

b. Talk for a while and then take out a book?

c. Pretend youre asleep?

You are sitting at an outdoor caf with a couple of friends. They get into a heated argument. Do you:

a. Remain in your seat even though you feel uncomfortable and wait for the argument to resolve?