Gail Brenner - Suffering Is Optional: A Spiritual Guide to Freedom from Self-Judgment and Feelings of Inadequacy

Many people wonder, How can I live my best life in these uncertain times of change and disruption? Gail Brenners book offers practical tools to help you move past feeling stuck in your past or limited by the present. She keeps you company as you learn to find peace of mind to live a fuller lifewithout changing otherswhile changing the way you see, and more importantly, believe in yourself.

Nance Guilmartin, author of Healing Conversations and The Power of Pause

Suffering Is Optional is a must-read for anyone whos ever felt broken or inadequate. Gail offers clear, practical advice, along with tools and practices anyone can implement to find relief from the pain of their own self-judgment. Its possible to see yourself in a whole new light and experience a freer, more peaceful lifeand this is the road map to do it.

Lori Deschene, author of Tiny Buddhas Gratitude Journal, and cofounder of the Recreate Your Life Story eCourse

Truth is always simple. In this profound and easy-to-read book, you will be reminded of what you already know and what has always been with you but has been covered over by your seemingly endless search. Come home and rest in this moment, allowing this book to be a dear friend and a reminder of Truth.

Mary OMalley, author of Whats in the Way Is the Way and The Gift of Our Compulsions

Suffering Is Optional points you toward deep, fundamental truths about your true nature and the nature of your experience. It doesnt provide a fix for what you experience. It shows you that you are already perfect and whole regardless of what you experience. The truths in this book can wake you up to the fact that suffering truly is optional. I will be sharing this one with my own clients and students.

Amy Johnson, PhD, author of The Little Book of Big Change,

and creator of The Little School of Big Change

If you are challenged by negative, limiting thoughts or beliefs, self-doubt, anxiety, or fear, this book is for you. Gail Brenner is a gentle, wise, master guide who will lead you on the path of self-love, happiness, and inner peace.

Arielle Ford, author of Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate

Gail Brenner offers a creative distillation of wise guiding principles and powerful core practices that can free you from your self-induced suffering. Well written and easily accessible, Suffering Is Optional points to something that is often completely overlooked in conventional psychological literature our inherent wholeness and freedom.

John J. Prendergast, PhD, author of In Touch; retired adjunct professor of psychology, California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS)

At the heart of Buddhism and many forms of modern psychology are two fundamental teachings. The first is that suffering is inevitable. And the second is that suffering can be overcome. For many, this remains an elusive goal, but with Gail Brenners book, Suffering Is Optional, responding to the challenges of life in a new way is not a distant goal, but something that can happen here and now. If you have ever wanted to find a better way, you need look no further than the pages of this book.

Darren Main, author of Yoga and the Path of the Urban Mystic

Suffering Is Optional presents what is essentially the most important question of a lifetime: If I am not my thought-based identities, then who am I? With a depth of compassion that can only arise out of honest self-investigation, Gail Brenner clearly lays out how painful and unnecessary thought patterns consistently obscure the effortless fulfillment that is our birthright. Most critically, she presents a practical pathway to permanently cut through tenacious patterns of self-judgment and beliefs in inadequacy. This book is offering you the keys to a life of clarity and freedom. Take the keys and open the door!

Shanti Einolander, editor of ONE the Magazine and Gangajis The Diamond in Your Pocket

Gails book is an amazing combination of direct path invitation into freedom and detailed inquiry into the conditioned thoughts and emotions that obscure it. It shares astute psychological insight and self-help-style writing exercises in a structured way that will benefit both beginners and those already awake to their true nature. Its clarity and compassionate wisdom are a beautiful and inspiring expression of Being, showing the reader the sacred return home. I learned a few shortcuts home myself, thanks to Gail!

Grace Bubeck, PhD, therapist, meditation teacher, spiritual mentor, and founder of Living from Love live online events

su f f e r i n g

I s O p t i o n a l

a spIrituaL guIde tO frEedom from

selF-juDgmenT & feElingS of inAdequacY

G a i l B r e N n e r , P H d

n e w H a r B i N g e r P u b L i C a t I o n s , i n c .

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative informationin regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that thepublisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or otherprofessional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services ofa competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2018 by Gail Brenner

Reveal Press

An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Acquired by Katie Parr

Edited by Ken Knabb

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Brenner, Gail F., author.

Title: Suffering is optional : a spiritual guide to freedom from self-judgment and feelings of inadequacy / Gail Brenner, PhD.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, Inc., [2018] | Includes bibliographical references. |

Identifiers: LCCN 2017055011 (print) | LCCN 2017058807 (ebook) | ISBN

9781684030163 (PDF e-book) | ISBN 9781684030170 (ePub) | ISBN

9781684030156 (pbk. : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Suffering. | Self-perception. | Spiritual life.

Classification: LCC BF789.S8 (ebook) | LCC BF789.S8 B75 2018 (print) | DDC

204/.42--dc23

LC record available at https:/ lccn.loc.gov/2017055011

You are infinitely free,

unendingly magnificent,

undeterred by fear,

overflowing as love itself.

This is your true nature,

alive in you in this very moment.

Contents

Forewor

Foreword

I was born four years after World War II to a father who suffered from severe PTSD, epilepsy, and alcoholism, but who was nonethe-less a sensitive, gifted professional artist. My mother bore the brunt of his obscenity-laden drunken rages (which we kids listened to throughout many long nights). She eventually attempted suicide three times and spent most of my adolescence in psychiatric institutions.

I dropped out of high school after a year of drug use, for which I was arrested twice. Most people throughout history have had it much worse.

Suffering seems endemic to life. The struggle to overcome it and achieve happiness defines the human endeavor. Gail Brenner is not the first to make the bold claim that suffering is optional. The founders of most spiritual traditions proclaimed that they had found a way out of suffering and were experiencing the Kingdom of Heaven within, Nirvana, Samadhi, etc. Moreover, they offered teachings and practices through which their followers might do the same.