Table of Contents
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NCV are taken from The Holy Bible, New Century Version, Copyright 1987, 1988, 1991 by Word Publishing, Nashville, TN 37214. Used by permission.
Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. ( www.Lockman.org )
Verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Verses marked ICB are taken from the International Childrens Bible, New Century Version, copyright 1986, 1988 by Word Publishing, Dallas, Texas 75039. Used by permission.
Verses marked GNT are taken from the Good News TranslationSecond Edition 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.
Verses marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
Verses marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible , Copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.
All emphasis in Scripture quotations has been added by the author.
Cover by Left Coast Design, Portland, Oregon
Cover photo John Foxx/Alamy Limited
SANDPAPER PEOPLE
Copyright 2005 by Mary Southerland
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Southerland, Mary.
Sandpaper people/ Mary Southerland.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-7369-1614-1 ISBN-10: 0-7369-1614-8 (pbk.)
1. Christian life. 2. Interpersonal relationsBiblical teaching. 3. Interpersonal relationsReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4501.3.S66 2005
248.4dc22
2005001911
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
05 06 07 08 09 10 / VP-CF / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To the three people in my life
who know me best
but still love me most.
My husband, Dan, is my best friend and greatest cheerleader.
My son, Jered, is the son every mother dreams of having.
My daughter, Danna, is the sparkle in my life.
I love you completely and thank God for the unique and precious
relationships we share.
You are my greatest teachers and deepest loves.
Acknowledgments
Thanks to my husbandDan. Sandpaper People would not have been written without your love and support. Your faithful encouragement and unwavering faith in this project kept my hands on the keyboard and my heart seeking Gods truth about difficult relationships. You continue to be the love of my life and my greatest cheerleader.
Thanks to my childrenJered and Danna. You are my greatest teachers. Thank you for loving your sandpaper mom.
Thanks to Harvest House for believing in me as a writer. You have become family and friends.
Thanks to Yvonne Anderson and Beverly Greer. You graciously offered quiet places where I could escape to write.
Thanks to Hyldia Williams for the great idea of creating Sandpaper People emery boards.
Thanks to God, the Author and Finisher of my faith. Your stubborn love for me when I was unlovable is the very heart of this book. You are the Friend of wounded hearts. It is through Your unconditional love and absolute acceptance that I not only can love and accept myself, but my sandpaper people as well. Thank you for the relationship truths in Your Word that have changed my life and allowed me to see these abrasive people through Your eyes. Please accept this book as an offering of praise for all You have done in my relationships. All praise, honor and glory belong to You.
A Word from Mary
S ANDPAPER PEOPLE ARE A REALITY of life. In my life, God has used difficult relationships as catalysts through which He has lovingly upset my comfortable plans and purposefully redirected what I thought were my safe and sound steps. The results have often been chaotic and unsettlingbut have always been life-changing. A changed life is the bottom line for God, and the very reason He sent His Son to earth.
The learned truths and personal insights I share in this book are from my life, which has been forever altered through dealing with sandpaper people and learning to get along with people who rub me the wrong way. Difficult relationships have been the source of great pain as well as an invaluable conduit for Gods utmost healing for me. I thank Him for each sandpaper person and for the opportunity to share this part of my journey with you. I pray that within these pages you will find new strength and fresh certainties that will prepare your heart and life to experience anew His unconditional love, His unrivaled grace, and His timeless truths through the unlikely servants we call sandpaper people.
ABOUT THE CHAPTERS. Each chapter of Sandpaper People is constructed to present Gods truth in a simple and applicable format. Men and women from the Bible walk through each chapter, interacting with their own sandpaper people, working through difficult relationships in the same way you and I must deal with them today. I encourage you to approach each chapter with the objective of finding one new truth God has waiting for you, a truth you can plug into your daily walk and use to nourish your relationships.
ABOUT THE SANDPAPER FACTS. As I began the research for this book, I kept tripping over interesting and unusual facts about sandpaper. I found myself amazed and amused by the way God has laced sandpaper throughout creation. Its everywhere! The Sandpaper Facts are simply a testimony of Gods attention to detail, a fact I find extremely comforting in dealing with sandpaper people.
ABOUT THE BIBLE STUDIES. Gods Word meets every need. Yet we often rely upon our limited strength and human tactics when dealing with sandpaper people instead of employing the infinite power of His Word. Each chapter will lead you through a step-by-step plan for learning, processing, and applying Gods truth to every difficult relationship in your life. I pray the Word will become real in your life as you move through this book.
ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL JOURNAL. Several years ago, I found myself at the bottom of a pit called clinical depression. There, I learned the intrinsic value and healing power of journaling. Recording painfully honest thoughts, fresh insights, new truths, and learned lessons is imperative to solid spiritual growth. I encourage you to use the journal as the record of the spiritual lamps that illuminate your path as God equips you to deal with sandpaper people.
