Olivia Fox Cabane - The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

How Anyone Can

Master the Art and Science

of Personal Magnetism

Olivia Fox Cabane

Portfolio Penguin

PORTFOLIO / PENGUIN

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First published in 2012 by Portfolio/Penguin,

a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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Copyright Olivia Fox Cabane, 2012

All rights reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Cabane, Olivia Fox.

The charisma myth : how anyone can master the art and science of personal magnetism / Olivia Fox Cabane.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN: 978-1-101-56030-3

1. Charisma (Personality trait) I. Title.

BF698.35.C45C33 2012

158.2dc23

2011043729

Printed in the United States of America

Set in Adobe Caslon Pro

Designed by Elyse Strongin and Neuwirth & Associates

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

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ALWAYS LEARNING

PEARSON

MARILYN MONROE WANTED to prove a point.

It was a sunny summer day in New York City, 1955. With a magazine editor and a photographer in tow, Marilyn walked down into Grand Central Terminal. Though it was the middle of a busy workday and the platform was packed with people, not a single person noticed her as she stood waiting for the subway. As the photographers camera clicked, she boarded the train and rode along quietly in a corner of the car. Nobody recognized her.

Marilyn wanted to show that just by deciding to, she could be either glamorous Marilyn Monroe or plain Norma Jean Baker. On the subway, she was Norma Jean. But when she resurfaced onto the busy New York sidewalks, she decided to turn into Marilyn. She looked around and teasingly asked her photographer: Do you want to see her? There were no grand gesturesshe just fluffed up her hair, and struck a pose.

With this simple shift, she suddenly became magnetic. An aura of magic seemed to ripple out from her, and everything stopped. Time

Charisma has always been an intriguing and controversial topic. When I tell people at conferences or cocktail parties that I teach charisma, they immediately perk up and often exclaim, But I thought it was something that you either have or dont. Some see it as an unfair advantage, others are eager to learn, everyone is fascinated. And they are right to be so. Charismatic people impact the world, whether theyre starting new projects, new companies, or new empires.

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be as magnetic as Bill Clinton or as captivating as Steve Jobs was? Whether you think you already have some charisma and would like to take it to the next level or youve been wishing for a bit of that magic but think that you just arent the charismatic type, I have good news: charisma is a skill that you can learn and practice.

What Will Charisma Do for You?

Imagine what your life would be like if you knew that the moment you entered a room, people would immediately take notice, want to hear what you have to say, and be eager to earn your approval.

For charismatic people, this is a way of life. Everyone is impacted by their presence. People are magnetically drawn to them and feel strangely compelled to help them in any way they can. Charismatic people seem to lead charmed lives: they have more romantic options, they make more money, and they experience less stress.

Charisma gets people to like you, trust you, and want to be led by you. It can determine whether youre seen as a follower or a leader, whether your ideas get adopted, and how effectively your projects are implemented. Like it or not, charisma can make the world go roundit makes people want to do what you want them to do.

If youre a leader, or aspire to be one, charisma matters. It gives you a competitive advantage in attracting and retaining the very best talent. It makes people want to work with you, your team, and your company. Research shows that those following charismatic leaders perform better, experience their work as more meaningful, and have more trust in their leaders than those following effective but noncharismatic leaders.

As Wharton School business professor Robert House notes, charismatic leaders cause followers to become highly committed to the leaders mission, to make significant personal sacrifices, and to perform above and beyond the call of duty.

Charisma is what enables one successful salesman to sell five times more than his colleagues in the same region. Its the difference between entrepreneurs who have investors banging on their doors and those who have to beg the bank for a loan.

The power of charisma is equally valuable outside of the business environment. Its useful for the stay-at-home mom who needs to influence her children, their teachers, or other community members. It can be an invaluable tool for high school students whod like to ace their college interviews or are running for leadership roles in student organizations. It can help individuals become more popular with their peers and feel more confident in social situations. Charismatic physicians are better liked by patients and are in greater demand, and their patients are more likely to adhere to the medical treatments they prescribe. Theyre also less likely to be sued when things go wrong. Charisma matters even in research and academia: charismatic individuals are more likely to get published, to attract research funding from industry grants, or to teach the most desirable courses. The professor who is always surrounded by admiring students after lecturesthats charisma, too.

Its Not Magic, Its Learned Behaviors

Contrary to popular belief, people are not simply born charismaticinnately magnetic from birth. If charisma were an inherent attribute, charismatic people would always be captivating, and thats just not the case. Even for the most engaging superstar, charisma can be present one moment and absent the next. Marilyn Monroe could turn off her charisma like flipping a switch and go completely unnoticed. To turn her charisma back on, she simply changed her body language.