Irvin Finau - Bold: 212 Charisma and Small Talk Tips to Engage, Charm and Leave a Lasting Impression

212 Charisma and Small Talk Tips to
Engage, Charm and Leave a Lasting Impression

Copyright 2015 by Tycho Press, Berkeley, California

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Illustrations Eli Stein

ISBN: Print 978-1-62315-635-0 | eBook 978-1-62315-636-7

FROM HERMIT
TO SOCIABLE

FROM SOCIABLE
TO POPULAR

FROM POPULAR
TO SOCIALITE

CHARISMA
ATTAINED

B eing charismatic has forever been the holy grail of personality skills. The ability to charm and delight others, to playfully switch between the serious and the trivial, to make others feel important, interesting, indispensable; the talent of shining a light on someone and letting them immerse in its warmth, the genius of transcending cultural, language, age and other barriers and becoming instantly relevant and absorbing, as well as a myriad other skillsall these combined are what charismatic people do.

You will be told by other authors and all sorts of image and PR gurus, who are as transient as a fabric trend in a fashion season, that you can feign charisma. That, if only you mimicked that person, or acquired that habit, or said that thing (and so on to exhaustion), you will immediately start enjoying the same responses and social success of famous people, keynote speakers, gifted leaders. The truth is otherwise, however.

Charisma is a gift, the same way writing music like Mozart is a gift. Anyone can learn to play an instrument, even become extremely skilled and eventually a virtuoso. But composing like Mozart did, no amount of schooling can get you there. Similarly, you can take all the classes, read all the books, and watch all the videotapes on how to develop a charismatic personality and become an expert conversationalist. You can devour the entire pickup artist literature and attend leadership seminars. Even if you devote all your free time to becoming a charismatic person, the divide between an extremely skilled person (the piano virtuoso) and the charismatic person (Mozart) will always be there.

There is, however, one way to game the system. Although charisma requires much more than any single book can directly teach you, it is also not an entirely genetic trait. Schooling, manners, etiquette and, most of all, practice will build your demeanor, improve your conversation techniques, expand your circle of friends and acquaintances, increase your invitations to events, introduce you to new people and social settings. And, who knows, you might have actually had a charismatic person hidden inside you all along who never had the chance to come out.

This is the purpose of this book, then: I will tell you (and show you) all the things you need to be aware of in your interactions. Some advice will come in the form of explicit tips, or warnings. Some of it will come humorously through the use of cartoons and jokes. More yet will be in the form of quotes from famous people embodying the spirit that makes up a charismatic personality. By working on the level of the conscious teaching, of the subconscious witticism, the visual as well as the textual, the obvious and the subtle, this book will turn you into a social genius, a master of the conversation and an expert in attracting other peoples praise.