PRAISE FOR THE MIDDLE FINGER PROJECT
I f*cking love a woman who knows what she wants and how to get itand even better, is willing to share her secrets so we can all get ours too. Ash Ambirge is a whole mood, and trust me: you want to be in it.
Sarah Knight, New York Times bestselling author of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck
If you dont believe in yourself, who will? Ash is here to help you see that you have more chances to make a ruckus than you ever thought possible.
Seth Godin, author of This Is Marketing
Every woman who has felt even an iota of dissatisfaction in her life needs to read this book. Ashs insight and wisdom is a gift to us all.
Laura Jane Williams, author of Our Stop
A voice we must pay attention to, and a must-read for anyone who has never felt good enough (ahem: thats everyone).
Susie Moore, life coach and advice columnist; author of What If It Does Work Out?
Ash Ambirge is Ryan Gosling-sent proof that you can live life on your own terms, burn up the rule book, and do what lights you up. The Middle Finger Project is the instruction manual for people who dont read the manual.
Matthew Kimberley, author of Get a F*cking Grip
Ashs writing might make you quit your job, start a whole new life, and feel braver than youve ever felt before.
Jamie Varon, founder of Shatterboxx
A hilarious guidebook to reject the status quo and live your unf*ckwithable life. This is the anti-self-help self-help book youll be giving to all your friends.
Amber Rae, author of Choose Wonder Over Worry
Who the F says you have to be a good girl, ask permission, pay your dues, punch in, clock out, stick with one hair color, live the kind of life where a beanbag is company culture, and you have to label your yogurt? Whoever says it, Ash Ambirge has a simple replyand youll find yourself raising a finger, too.
Laura Belgray, author of Talking Shrimp
Gutsy, bright, and filled with the perfect blend of instruction, inspiration, and irreverence, this book makes you realize that it really is all possibleeven for those of us whove been knocked around in life, dont fit the standard mold, and truly despise green juice.
Jenny Foss, founder and CEO of JobJenny.com; LinkedIn Learning author
This book is a reminder that even in our darkest hours we can be resourceful and courageous. Ash reminds us that we are worthy of so much and stronger than we know. Everyone who reads this will be better for it.
Cathy Heller, author of Dont Keep Your Day Job
This funny and fabulously insightful book is f*cking golda must-read for any woman who is ready to stop playing small in life.
Noor Hibbert, life and business coach; author of Just F*cking Do It
Portfolio/Penguin
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
penguinrandomhouse.com
Copyright 2020 by Ash Ambirge
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Ambirge, Ash, author.
Title: The middle finger project : trash your imposter syndrome and live the unf*ckwithable life you deserve / Ash Ambirge.
Description: New York : Portfolio/Penguin, [2020]
Identifiers: LCCN 2019035572 (print) | LCCN 2019035573 (ebook) | ISBN 9780525540328 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780593189184 (export edition) | ISBN 9780525540335 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: WomenVocational guidance. | Self-realization in women. | Self-reliance. | Success.
Classification: LCC HF5382.6 .A43 2020 (print) | LCC HF5382.6 (ebook) | DDC 650.1dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019035572
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019035573
Penguin is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity. In that spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers; however the story, the experiences, and the words are the authors alone.
Cover design: Jennifer Heuer
pid_prh_5.5.0_c0_r0
HATE YOUR JOB BUT HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT THE F*CK ELSE TO DO?
GIRLLLLLLL, LEMME BUY YOU A DRINK.
CONTENTS
THE GUEST LIST
OR: PEOPLE WHO ARE PERSONALLY INVITED TO READ THIS BOOK
Anyone actively plotting their bosss demise.
The woman buying the extra-large bottle of Yellow Tail after work. (Not that I object.)
That adorable British girl I met in Quito who was SO CREATIVE IT HURTbut spent the rest of her twenties selling insurance.
The woman on the internet who wrote: Each data entry keystroke was a nail in my self-esteem coffin.
The people in the middle of the mall selling hand cream from the Dead Sea, who are clearly of Olympic determination.
Britney Spears. I got you, boo.
The entire customer service department of any company, ever. (Except minedont you dare leave me!)
The twenty-two-year-old hopeful who went to that exciting Entry-Level Marketing Assistant interview, only to come to discover it was FREAKING TELEMARKETING.
The forty-two-year-old who stared at LinkedIn for three hours this morning trying to figure out how to reinvent herself after the divorce / the career change / the terrifying realization that time is slippery. (And why are my boobs doing this?)
The guy at Applebees who overheard the grandmother telling her grandkids to stay in school, otherwise youll end up like that.
Anyone whos seriously doubting themselves, who feels stuck, who lacks a sense of accomplishment with their work, whos jaded and uninspired, who knows they arent contributing to something more meaningful, who has little opportunity to distinguish themselves, who worries they dont have a real purpose, and who cant help but feel like their IQ is dropping by the minute while their brain cells shrivel into a mound of powdered feces.
Anyone who has been through The Hard, and needs to believe in themselves again.
... Oh, and trailer park girls worldwide. Because I am you, and you are me, and together? Were gonna prove the world wrong.
CHAPTER 1
THE RULES WERE MADE UP BY SOME GUY NAMED TED WHO ATE A QUARTER POUNDER FOR LUNCH AND HAS A DOG NAMED WEDGIE
OR: SURPRISE! NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING
GOD.
*puffs on cigar*
Now theres a fun-filled topic. If we were really ambitious, wed just dive right into the most controversial subject imaginable, given that this book contains all sorts of controversial ideas and it doesnt get any more polite from here. (Now might be a good time to fetch the vodka... and maybe a defibrillator.)