Dr. Jessamy Hibberd - The Imposter Cure: Escape the mind-trap of imposter syndrome

Dedicated to Jack

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When I excitedly told family and friends about this book, the most common response was, I think Ive got that is it normal? Many times I saw a flash of recognition immediately followed by an expression of relief as they thought, Im not the only one.

Everyone had a story.

My sister is brilliant at her job, but shes always telling me that she cant understand why her colleagues think shes any good.

I felt like that when I got accepted on to the doctorate course.

A guy at work was telling me the other day how he feels like hes just winging it hes got three kids; hes so successful but he clearly thinks hes inches away from being sacked.

Imposter syndrome isnt something that only youare suffering from. Its something we can all relate to. We all know that feeling, whether its with you all the time or just in certain situations. Its the feeling you experience when you start a new job, when you get a promotion or when you are accepted on to a course. It simply means you care about what youre doing, that you want to do a good job, but that youre worried youre not up to it.

As Ive researched this book and delved deeper into this world, Ive come to realize that imposter syndrome involves much more than just feeling fraudulent and that it presents itself in a long list of different ways. It may appear as insecurity, self-doubt, fear of failure and perfectionism. Or as self-criticism, low self-esteem, an inability to accept compliments or a focus on where youre falling short. Its a guard against arrogance and a safety net in case everything goes wrong. This list, rather than being titled Imposter Syndrome, could be titled The Problems of Being Human. This is a collective experience, which is why it is time to talk about it openly because it is holding so many people back from fully engaging in life.

Before I started writing this book this wasnt a conversation Id had with my friends or family. Because of the fear and shame attached to imposter syndrome, there are rarely opportunities to talk about these feelings and discover that its not just you who feels this way.

This book aims to open up the conversation about imposter syndrome. I hope it will help you and many others see that this feeling doesnt mean youre lacking in some way; it just means youre not sure if you can do what you set out to do yet. When you recognize that this feeling is not proof that you are an imposter but a normal discomfort that everyone experiences, you will be able to respond differently. With awareness and practice you will find it possible to develop a healthy relationship with fear, vulnerability and failure and this will prevent these emotions from limiting you any more. Not only that; you will be able to open up and take a fresh look at your life, thinking about what you want to be, now and in the future.

I hope you enjoy the book. And remember: youve got this, you are not a fraud, you deserve success and you can believe in yourself. Its time to escape the mind-trap of imposter syndrome!

We might not know each other and I havent had a chance to hear your story. But Im pretty sure I already know a lot about you.

Youve been carrying around a secret thats kept you living your life in a state of low-level fear, wondering when youll be found out. Youve fooled everyone into believing youre better than you are, putting on an act of knowing what youre doing and working extra hard to avoid detection. If people really knewyou, theyd see the cracks in the surface. Most of your big accomplishments have just been luck or the result of being in the right place at the right time. In truth, youre an imposter.

You might not feel this way all the time, but when you do, this pervasive self-doubt and insecurity creates a cloud over everything you do, a constant nagging feeling of stress and anxiety, which affects both your work and your relationships.