Trish Taylor - Yes! You Are Good Enough: End Imposter Syndrome, Overthinking and Perfectionism and Do What YOU Want

Developmental Editor

Kari C. Barlow

Editing Team

Jennifer Reeves

Jessica Forbes

Self-help books can be annoying. I write them and they annoy me too. Especially those that promise the earth, that guarantee they can fix your problem in five minutes. If you have been carrying around your imposter syndrome for a lifetime, I cant promise that you will shake it off with a flick of your hair or a snap of your fingers. I can promise that if you are suffering through this awful curse of feeling that you are not worthy, there is a way to feel better. It doesnt happen overnight. I am a practitioner of a range of techniques that work well. They can be life changing. I have helped people work through issues that have dogged them for decades, yet they still sometimes need a top-up or a reminder they are good enough, that they can do it, and that there are actions they can take to deal with the feelings that arise. I have also worked with people who have had to change their life after dramatic changes in circumstances, often reinventing themselves. I know that wherever you have been and however you have judged yourself up to this point, you can change for the better and move forward.

Im glad that we have a name for this thing now. If Im talking in a group and mention the concept of imposter syndrome, its common for at least half of those present to relate to the idea, to claim it as their own and sometimes for someone to say, Oh, wow! Thats a thing? I thought it was just me. Its not a disease that needs a diagnosis, and everyones experience will be different. Lets start with a check-in and then you can see if you think this book will be helpful to you. Check this list and see if any of these give you an ah-ha moment. You might not have these feelings all the time, or in every situation, yet you will know as you read down the list below if I am speaking to you.

Trigger Warning: This list has the potential to make you feel uncomfortable while you are working through it.

• You feel judged by other people.
• You worry you come from the wrong area, family, country, religion, era, school.
• That you have the wrong accent.
• You feel people dont like youeven your friends.
• You compare yourself and feel that you dont measure up.
• You worry you got your job by accident.
• You think everyone else is achieving more than you.
• You believe you are the weakest link in your organization.
• You think you have been lucky so far and your luck could run out.
• You spend a lot of time thinking about what you dont know and arent good at.
• You speak negatively about yourself.
• You dont believe that you deserve to be where you are.
• You dont always like yourself.
• You heard awful things said about you as a child.
• You think you need a lot more help to achieve your goals than others.
• You worry that you have nothing interesting to say in social settings.
• You think your clothes are all wrong.
• You worry you dont know enough about current affairs, movies, music, politics, fine food, art.
• You worry you dont know enoughperiod.
• You give your services away for free or reduced price because you arent confident you are worth full price.
• You go away from social interactions worrying that you said or did the wrong thing, that you looked stupid or that you failed.
• You accept low standards from other people because you dont feel you deserve better.
• You feel resentful of others because they take advantage of you.
• You get paid less than you should and dont ask for a raise because you think you arent worth it.
• You think everyone looks better than you.
• You feel embarrassed if anyone pays you a compliment.
• You dont do small talk as you think no one is interested in what you have to say.
• You think other people are smarter than you.
• You think people are just being polite when they invite you to events.
• You feel you are usually the least smart person in the room.
• You believe anyone can do what you do and that you are nothing special.
• You believe that the only reason you are where you are today is because you are lucky, got a break, got help or studied hard.
• You think its probably too late to change.

These feelings and concerns are not true, you just built them up inside your head and had no one to tell you otherwise. I bet you havent told many people, have you? Youve kept this story to yourself or told very few people you feel like this. You walk around looking confident on the surface, and you dont tell people that inside you are terrified you will eventually mess up and be exposed as a fraud. Because we hide these feelings, we dont realize how many others are experiencing the same doubts.

• Discover why you dont feel good enough.
• How other people are part of the problem and can be ignored.
• Uncover and challenge your own lies about yourself.
• Banish perfectionism and overthinking.
• Fix your mindset.
• A 28-day program to help you move into confidence.

This book is to help you feel more confident, let go of the negativity and live your life on your terms.

You have been telling yourself for so long that you are not good enough. Somewhere deep within you the voice is an echo of a message you heard, a lie, a miscommunication, or a perversion of the truth. You heard it, or maybe you overheard it and absorbed it until you believed it to be true. The accusing voice in your head is not really youits an evil twin who lies. Before you can tell that person to be gone, you have to recognize the lies.

I was raised Roman Catholic. Every year we had a May Procession. It was a religious festival, though to us kids it was about putting on a fancy dress and walking through the streets showing off. It was also a popularity contest. If you lose at a popularity contest, you might believe you are not good enough. It was where I had the self-esteem knocked out of me before I could even spell the word. Our procession had a queen and a small group of attendants chosen from my class. I was around seven years old, and my idealistic kid brain had not yet learned that the Catholic world was as unequal as the rest, and I would not get the same opportunity that everyone else had. The girls names were written on pieces of paper, and the teacher pulled the names out of a hat and announced the lucky winner. American Idol had nothing on the anticipation of winning the golden ticket of May Queen attendant. As the excitement rose, I learned there was no point in getting my little hearts hopes up. A classmate took delight in telling me she already knew I had no chance of being chosen. According to her inside knowledge, the teacher had decided that they would not even place my name in the hat. Apparently, I wasnt right for the prized role, and my family couldnt have afforded the required dress anyway. This was my first experience of heartbreaking disappointment, alongside the shame, guilt, and misery of being singled out as being different. For years after that, circumstances regularly reminded me that my family was not good enough.