Meredith Fineman - Brag better: Master the Art of Fearless Self-Promotion

PORTFOLIO / PENGUIN

An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

penguinrandomhouse.com

Copyright 2020 by Meredith Fineman

Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Fineman, Meredith, author.

Title: Brag better : master the art of fearless self-promotion / Meredith Fineman.

Description: [New York] : Portfolio / Penguin, [2020] | Includes index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020004061 (print) | LCCN 2020004062 (ebook) | ISBN 9780593086810 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780593086827 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-confidence. | Self-actualization (Psychology)

Classification: LCC BF575.S39 F55 2020 (print) | LCC BF575.S39 (ebook) | DDC 650.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020004061

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020004062

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, internet addresses, and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

Cover images: (Queen of Spades) Getty Images Plus; (card pattern) Mercurio / Shutterstock

Cover design: Jennifer Heuer

pid_prh_5.5.0_c0_r0

For Patti and Dave Nathan, Mort and Jean Fineman, and Joe Nathan

Dear Reader,

At this point in my career, Ive worked with, trained, and spoken to hundreds, if not thousands, of people, many of them women, who find it difficult to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Actually, difficult is an understatement. Most of them find it downright excruciatingit pains me to say that Ive had clients who are unequivocally outstanding in their fields, and yet they cant even muster the courage to say their names out loud.

If youre anything like my clients, you do a lot of hard work that goes unnoticed. You watch as colleagues with louder personalities snag promotions, leadership positions, and exciting projects. A chosen few seem to have the magical ability to speak freely, to be heard and acknowledged, and it bugs you that life isnt closer to a meritocracy.

As much as Id like to say we can get the loud people to be quiet, I dont think that will happen. As a society, we are mixed up about who deserves attention and praisewe reward loud. But we can get the quiet people to be louder by encouraging them to take healthy pride in their accomplishments and by stating true facts about their work for all to hear. Thats what Ill teach you in this book.

If speaking up for yourself and those around you makes you nervous, you are not alone. If it were easy, I wouldnt have the career that I do. I should add that this particular insecurity isnt distributed equitably. Never having had proper role models of healthy pride can (temporarily!) set you back. Your gender, race, sexuality, age, ability, and childhood experiences also affect your relationship with bragging. For some of us, bragging is met with more criticism and scrutiny. The freedom to be heard is intertwined with privilege. Throughout this book, you will find callout boxes, brag breakdowns, and quotes taken from one-on-one interviews that I have conducted. Youll hear from people who experience difficult and complex working and social environments and how theyve fought to be heard. As a white, cis, straight woman, Im well aware of the privilege I have, and Im committed to paying it forwardand I hope you will be committed to the same goal of elevating everyone around you.

My goal is to help you Brag Betterto find the words to describe your work and then share and leverage your accomplishments, in a meeting or from a stage, so you can propel your career forward. Im confident not only that your accomplishments are worth talking about, but also that sharing them strategically and thoughtfully will help you get farther in your career and in your life.

My deepest wish for you is that, by the end of this book, you feel proud of yourself and your work, and that you have the skills to brag about your unique qualities and experiences, bridging the gap between you and the spotlight. More than anything, the goal of Brag Better is to give you a mindset. I want you to know that your accomplishments are enough. You are enough. And no matter where you are in your career, your achievements are worth sharing. So, lets start talking about them.

Yours in bragging,

Meredith Fineman