Robert Sardello - A Soul Way of Forgiveness: Restoring presence (School of Spiritual Psychology Archive Books Book 4)

Introduction

This monograph develops practical understanding and methods of forgiveness of ourselves, of others, and as the most powerful of world-forces. We enter into an entirely new and creative way of working with Forgiveness. Forgiving, we discover, is a particular region of the soul, a Presence an interior landscape, and the Presence of healing Presences. The inner contemplative work is to be able to locate this region. As long as we attempt forgiveness from the place of usual consciousness, we are locked into subtle modes of power through separating ourselves from the soul being of those we wish to forgive.

We look at why forgiveness is of importance and as perhaps the deepest mystery of the soul. It is most certainly the only way to move out of the patterns of repetitious harmfulness we live both individually and the harmfulness that the world is now caught within.

We listen with and to our soul and try to feel how we may be caught in the illusory benefits, often unconscious and very powerful, that often prevent attempts to forgive. We then examine the ill effects of living with resentment on our emotional, physical and spiritual life. We look at what harming others and being harmed by others does to the soul.

The central nature of forgiveness as requiring the development of new soul capacities is imagined, and ways to identify and develop this mode of imagination through contemplative practices form the practical aspects of this retreat.

A Soul Way of Forgiveness

Robert Sardello

Why a new understanding of forgiveness is important for our time

The deepest understanding of forgiveness requires a turn of thought that is nothing short of courageous. Namely, it entails delving into the most tragic aspects of human relationships, the horrifically painful things that make us feel separate, isolated, and alone. And the forms these issues take are innumerable. The aftermath of emotional dysfunction includes: anger, resentment, hurt, haunting memories, and, in short, the things that make us feel injured by others. Plus, we must also give attention to ostensibly loving relationships that, in fact, are unspoken contracts, bargains struck to banish pain that was present long before a relationship began. Additionally, its also important to examine the multiple ways in which we engage in psychological and spiritual self-harm.

These various iterations of pain likely account for eighty percent of contemporary visits to therapists, support groups, and healers of various sorts. The popularity and continuance of work begun by John Bradshaw, Melody Beattie, Robert Bly and many others can be attributed to their ability to parse feelings of victimization. After all, were a victim society. It might be said, too, that those who offer healing for pain are handsomely paid for their advice. This indicates the sheer desperation and ardent desire for relief from emotional afflictions.

Nearly everyone has suffered some sort of abuse physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, etc. And the corollary is a horrifying uptick in addictions of every variety. Drugs, sex, love, emotion, money, and power not only account for the ways we get stuck in our lives; they also inevitably point towards an occurrence of victimization. Thus, intimate relationships and the difficulties they entail, such as infidelities, indifference, fighting, anger, and resentment, can be attributed to soul-pain brought into a relationship along with the illusion that the relationship will offer a solution to that pain. And, lastly, theres the anger and resentment toward those who exercise authority over us in work, religion, and even in government.

When we look meditatively upon the phenomenon of being a victim without judging it or excusing it because life is hard a large and exciting new expanse of life begins to open. Victimization is simply a symptom, and symptoms point to something that hasnt yet found expression. Thus, its helpful to fully accept that were all victims, and were also victimizers. And this realization reveals an extraordinary path, one that allows for movement to finally emerge. And that movement is forgiveness.

Moreover, the issues surrounding harm done to ourselves and to others transcend individual relationships. Racial prejudice, exploitation of the planets natural resources, rampant nationalism, crime, greed, and the struggle of women throughout the world are only a few examples. Moreover, these grievous wrongs are not only going unchecked; astonishingly, theyre rapidly increasing. Since there are no feelings of conscience or guilt to impede cruel behavior, forgiveness is desperately needed for our wounded and wounding culture.

Currently, its fashionable to see incidences of rampant violence and harm as signs of moral breakdown. At least that is the stance taken by political conservatives, and they find the idea of returning to an imaginary (Rockwellian) past to be a viable means of addressing these disturbing issues. While ideas of religion, family, and tradition are part of their proposed ethos, a more thoughtful point of view makes us pause and see the situation differently. Namely, humanity is engaged in a reconfiguration of cultural ideas that should be broadly embraced. And perhaps it may be that there isnt a greater occurrence of cruelty in the world; instead, we simply may be more aware of due to media. Thus, whats genuinely new is our vision. And it must be hoped that we, like Shakespeares King Lear, have finally learned to see better. Thus, while the occurrence of violent episodes is experienced with greater frequency, we can now exercise new ways of dealing with their wounding presence. Accepting this newly acquired emotional terrain is nothing less than a ratcheting up of psychic evolution and, luckily, it has a familiar name. Quite simply, its called forgiveness.

Why forgiveness requires a new form of consciousness

We already have certain assumptions concerning forgiveness. After all, its a common word. But it requires a dramatic shift to realize that typical meanings of this word have little to do with reality. I can never forgive someone its not within the power of ego consciousness to banish the effect of harm. In fact, the ego is the very bearer of memory of the harm weve experienced; thus, to dissolve these memories, the ego would have to dissolve itself. And the ego makes it possible for us to get on in the world at all. Whats particularly heartening about the aforementioned new consciousness beginning to emerge is that its not oriented towards destroying the ego, but transforming it. From the viewpoint of spiritual psychology, what must arise is a means of transforming the ego without harming it. This is paramount!