4 Essential Keys
to
Effective
Communication
in Love, Life, WorkAnywhere!
A How-To Guide for Practicing the Empathic Listening, Speaking, and Dialogue Skills to Achieve Relationship Success with the Important People in Your Life
Including the
12-Day
Communication
Challenge!
Bento C. Leal III
Copyright 2017 by Bento C. Leal III
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of very brief quotations embodied in reviews and certain non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Dear Reader,
As a Thank You for getting my book, I am happy to give you as a
FREE GIFT
this downloadable and printable version of the
12-DAY COMMUNICATION CHALLENGE!
ACTION GUIDE
to have as a handy hardcopy reference as you practice the skills throughout the day.
Click Here to Download Your Free Gift!
or go to:
http://bentoleal.com/12-day-challenge
Enjoy the Challenge!
Praise
This short book is a jewel, a resource, an important contribution to the growing literature on interpersonal competence. This will be the most useful book you will read this year. Get it, read it, study it, cherish it and use the skills anywhere and everywhere. -- Bill Coffin, Relationship & Marriage Educator; Husband, Father, Grandfather; Marriage Education Specialist (retired), Administration for Children and Families
Whats the secret of being seen as a great spouse, parent or friend? A great supervisor, employee, teacher, salespersonany professional? Its listening with empathy, really listening This little gem of a book reveals the secret of developing this priceless skill. Simple, practical, and effective. -- John R. Williams, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Marriage & Relationship Educator
Bento has written an excellent guide on how to practice empathy in relationships, showing why its so important and how to do it This book should be required reading for anyone getting married, since these skills are so essential for a successful marriage. -- Debbie Preece, Marriage Coaching, LLC
This is a wonderful book, and I highly recommend it. The communication skills Bento Leal teaches have helped me listen and speak with greater empathy to both my loved ones and my clients , and as a result have continued to strengthen my relationships in my life and work. -- Don Sardella, President, Strategic Consultant & Business Coach, Institute for Leadership Development, LLC
This book is a clear and simple guide that can be used to support couples in their communication with each otherand with their children. Every individual can benefit in their work and day-to-day life with better listening and communicating skills by reading and practicing the skills in this book. -- John Abelseth, Family Educator
Please do me a favor!
Leave a brief REVIEW of my book at Amazon.com explaining what you thought of the book and what you may have gained from it. I read every review.
Thanks so much!
Dedication
To my dear wife Kimiko and our children who have shown me the power of love each and every day.
Thank you!
Disclaimer: This book is presented to you for informational purposes and is not a substitution for any professional advice. It is the readers sole responsibility to seek professional advice before taking any action on their part. There are some relationship issues that require more expert intervention than simply reading a book or taking a relationship skills class. Depending on the nature of the issue, it may be more appropriate to seek help from a licensed professional, such as a counselor or therapist. You can also dial 2-1-1 to inquire about services in your area or visit www.211.org. If you are experiencing a serious issue (such as abuse, domestic violence or any other emergency), call 9-1-1 for immediate assistance.
Table of Contents
Preface
Welcome to my book. Im very happy you have it in your hands. I hope you gain a lot from it to enrich your life and relationships.
This is very much a how-to book a guide or manualfor learning, practicing, and growing your communication skills and relationships bit by bit, day by day.
To get the most out of the book, read through each chapter with an open mind and a willingness to learn new skills. At the end of most of the chapters is an opportunity for Self-Reflection where you are asked a few short questions to contemplate what you just read, consider how it relates to you personally, and determine the appropriate actions to implement the skills in your life.
You can also read and discuss the book as a couple or in a small group or book club, which is a great way to learn and grow together.
BONUS: At the end of the book is the 12-Day Communication Challenge! I encourage you to undertake the challenge as soon as possible after you finish reading the book to jump-start everything you have learned in these pages and start growing these skills into your personal habits right away.
With that, lets get started
Introduction
If youre like most people, you want to have good relationships with the important people in your lifeyour family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, clients, and customers. At the same time, you have no doubt learned from experience that good relationships dont happen by accident or wishful thinking. They are created, developed over time, and good communication is an essential part of the fabric that creates those relationships.
While that may be true, do you feel, as many do, that your communication skills could be greatly improvedthat you sometimes misunderstand what the other person is saying or meaning, feel misunderstood yourself, that you sometimes express your feelings too harshly when youre upset or get into arguments and other communication blunders? If so, this book is for you.
For more than a decade, Ive worked intensively in this fascinating field of interpersonal communication. Ive been trained to teach several communication skills curricula and have taught these skills to thousands of individuals and couples, in small groups and large audiences, in churches, social organizations, family resource centers, county jail, federal prison, and other venues.
On every occasion, Id witness people have profound personal breakthroughs in using these skills to radically improve their communication effectiveness in their marriages, families, at work, and elsewhere.
In this short book, you will learn the 4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication that I have honed and distilled from my study, teaching, and practice over the past several years. I consider these to be the core fundamentals of successful interpersonal communication.
These skills have helped me greatly in both my personal and professional relationships, and Im confident these skills will help you achieve relationship success with the important people in your life as well.
I hope you enjoy reading this book and use what you learn to take your relationships to a whole new level of intimacy, satisfaction and success.
All the best,
Bento C. Leal III
Chapter 1
How It All Started