Leading Yourself
A Guide to Increasing Self-Awareness, Self-Alertness, and Self-Leadership.
Zebulan hundley, ph.d.
Copyright 2020 by Zebulan D. Hundley
All rights reserved.
This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Printed in the United States of America
First Printing, 2020
ISBN: 9798678364890
Imprint: Independently Published
Instagram @zeb.hundley
www.zebulanhundley.com
Dedication
This work is dedicated to my wife and children, without whom this journey would not have been possible.
I may not be able to give you the world, but I hope this opens up new worlds to all of you.
I love you.
Special Thanks
This work would not have been successful without the insights, experiences, and talents from the following amazing people:
Editor: Jennifer Hundley
Cover Design: Jesse Horton
Mentor: Paul Scanlon
Table of Contents
Writers Note
Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, leaders of all walks of life have had to come to terms with a harsh reality. This reality is one that was hidden in plain sight, buried by the routine of business, and skewed by accolades and achievement. It was not until the day-to-day routine was ground to a halt that this reality came out of the shadows and began to consume the thoughts of many- even those who were considered to be strong leaders and visionaries. And when it did, it was not kind.
What is this reality? Simply put, it is the reality that the identity that these individuals were walking in was a faade. It was a counterfeit. It was based off a title, industry accolade, or paycheck. And now that the routine and system that was in place to reinforce that false identity has been ripped away, many are left wondering two things: who they are, and how they can fulfill what they feel they have been put on this earth to do.
I have had key conversations with leaders at all levels very recently who have been asking many of the same questions. Things like What do I do to become more self-aware? and What exactly does self-aware mean anyway?. Now that the mundane and task-oriented day has evaporated in the traditional sense, a separation is occurring between those who have been devoting themselves to a lifestyle of growth and development to help them lead themselves and others, and those who have just called themselves leaders and maintain a checklist to prove that they are leading.
What do I mean by this? I mean that many people that carry the title of leader have not been actually leading, they have only been carrying out a list of tasks provided to them by someone else; and in that process they have lost sight of the most important element of leadership- leading themselves.
If this book is to fulfill its purpose, it will help to connect you with the most authentic version of yourself and it will help you to bring into alignment two different versions of you; the version that you see and the version that everybody else sees. It is when you are able to bring these two things into alignment that you are then free to explore and expand into your fullest potential. This alignment will bring a new level of clarity, energy, and fulfillment into every aspect of life.
You see, self-leadership is the hardest (yet most essential) leadership of all. It is easy for you to see areas of improvement that are needed in those that you oversee, but it is much more difficult for you to take an honest look at yourself and to recognize that you have areas that need to be improved. It is easy to say that you are aware of your flaws, but what is that awareness doing to bring about a positive shift within you? How are you responding to this awareness? The process of gaining this self-awareness and then leading yourself from the place of your authentic self will be a key differentiator between those that will thrive in this next season and those that will not.
Full disclosure- this book is not for those who feel they already have all of the answers and who know everything about themselves. This book is not for those who are looking for validation and a sense of Im doing everything right. This book is for those that are committed to doing the hard work of self-examination, self-exploration, and self-leadership regardless of how difficult the journey might be.
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to take your time going through this book. There will be statements to challenge you and questions that will require time to answer. Stop to reflect where needed. Come back to it whenever needed. This journey will not be quick and painless, but it will definitely be worth it.
I am looking forward to our journey together.
Blessings,
Zeb
Section 1
Self-Awareness
The Journey is Art, Not Science
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear someone mention the term self-awareness? If you are like a lot of people that I have had the opportunity to connect with, you are not sure what that term means. In fact, you are also likely skeptical about the entire topic and those that claim to be able to help you on that journey. You have heard that you are supposed to have it, but you have never had anyone explain to you exactly what it looks like or feels like, let alone how to achieve it.
I understand this all too well. A quick internet search will yield a variety of opinions as to what this means. I hope to help share with you what I have learned on my own journey as a means to be your tour guide, not just your travel agent.
It is important to note the difference between these two. You see, a travel agent knows all of the marketing lingo and can give you a list of popular places to visit, but a tour guide knows where to get the best mac and cheese. The personal experience that a tour guide can bring is the difference between just an expensive vacation and a very memorable one.
Honestly, prior to going through this journey myself, it seemed as though this sense of being belonged predominately to two core groups of people the ultra-successful and the ultra-weird. And, if I am to continue being honest, those two might have intersected in my mind more than I would like to admit. Does this connect with what you might be thinking right now?
If you are like I was, you have no idea how these two completely opposite groups of individuals seem to have come into possession of this enlightened state of being. You certainly want to be a part of the former, yet somehow without turning into the latter. You are approaching this journey both skeptical and hesitant, yet for some reason you still feel drawn to grasp this state of awareness for yourself. Either that, or your boss told you that you needed to improve in this area in your latest performance review and youre looking for where to begin. Admittedly, those are completely different scenarios, but if we are candid with one another, these are two main drivers behind this journey. People change because they want to, or because they have to. Does that about sum it up?
Let me start by asking you a question. If you were asked to name someone that was the embodiment of self-awareness, who would you name? Could you come up with a name in thirty seconds or less? Does anyone even come to mind at all? Most people will not be able to name someone. If that is you, you are not alone. If you did have someone come to mind, what is it about this person (or these people) that makes you think that they are the example to follow in this area of self-awareness?
