Foster - Falling in love with where you are: a year of prose and poetry on radically opening up to the pain and joy of life

FALLING IN LOVE
WITH WHERE YOU ARE

A Year of Prose and Poetry
On Radically Opening Up
To the Pain and Joy of Life

Jeff Foster

Non-Duality Press

FALLING IN LOVE WITH WHERE YOU ARE

First English edition published December 2013 by Non-Duality Press

Jeff Foster 2013

Non-Duality Press 2013

Cover design from an idea by Nic Higham. Layout by John Gustard.

Author portrait (back cover) by Liya Matiosova: www.matiosova.book.fr

Jeff Foster has asserted his rights under the Copyright, Designs and
Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as author of this work.

All rights reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced or utilised in any form or
by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission
in writing from the Publisher.

ISBN:978-1-908664-39-6

Non-Duality Press | PO Box 2228 | Salisbury | SP2 2GZ
United Kingdom

For Sherie,
forever in my heart.

I will not forget you.

I have held you in the palm of my hand.

Isaiah 49: 15-16

The bad news is youre falling through the air,

nothing to hang on to, no parachute.

The good news is theres no ground.

Chgyam Trungpa Rinpoche

FOREWORD

In your hands you hold the potential for a total re-ordering of your life as you know it.

In my work in the publishing industry over the last 20+ years, Ive had the rare opportunity to get to know and work with hundreds of the worlds most respected and realised spiritual teachers, psychologists, psychotherapists, neuroscientists and artists. From time to time, a new voice comes onto the scene unfortunately for all of us not often enough with something that is utterly alive, emerging out of the unknown, opening a portal into the ever deepening mysteries of love. Jeff Foster is one of these voices.

Over the last few years, I have continued to be inspired by Jeff, both as a writer and someone who cares deeply about the lives of those around him. I have witnessed Jeff sitting with those in deep despair, profound fear and raging anxiety even on the brink of suicide struggling with what it really means to be a human being. I have also seen Jeff meet the most devoted spiritual seekers, creating a home for them to come to rest, finally, from the weariness that seeking spiritual enlightenment so often brings. In each of these meetings through his words, through his silence, and through his loving attunement Jeff shares the gift of presence, wisdom, clarity and kindness, never giving up on the preciousness and potential of each and every unique person, and of the very human journey itself.

As so many have observed over the last few decades, while the worlds great nondual spiritual teachings offer a vision of crystal clarity into the true nature of the eternal Self beyond that which comes and goes, these very same traditions can become stale, worn out, second-hand, and just, well, inhuman. We sometimes forget that the essence of spirituality is a cosmic embrace of the relative, the dual, the very messy, sticky, gooey nature of human life. The light we seek is not elsewhere, but already shining through the appearance of a separate self, pouring out of our intimate relationships and illuminating our most disturbing feelings and emotions. As Jeff reveals so clearly and provocatively, light is alive even in the darkness.

One of the most important contributions Jeff makes to the spiritual conversation is his uncompromising demand that we honour our humanity and that we take the risk of seeing how sacred ordinary life really is. I whole-heartedly recommend this lovely new book of poetry and prose, and sincerely hope that through Jeffs words and through the space between them you come to see the magnificence that you are, and begin to consider the real possibility that youve never actually left Home.

Matt Licata, Ph.D. (alovinghealingspace.blogspot.com)

Boulder, Colorado

October 2013

AUTHORS NOTE

Who knows who wrote that song of summer

the blackbirds sing at dusk? This is a song of colour,

where sands sing in crimson, red and rust,

then climb into bed and turn to dust....

Kate Bush, Sunset

Why do I write books about the wordless essence of life? Why do I try to say the unsayable?

Perhaps why is the wrong question. It seems that the deeper the inner silence, the more naturally and effortlessly the words flow, finally liberated from their shackles, set free from the prison of conformity and correctness and the need to be liked or even heard. Out of purest stillness, this delicious music erupts, these creative and playful notes of myself, vibrant expressions of that pre-verbal silence at the core of everything, inviting you to intimacy with your present moment, here and now. My words are your words are the words of life itself, ever offering themselves in remembrance of that which is never gone and is endlessly shining.

I do not write nor speak by myself, for myself, nor am I myself written or spoken, I can only remain radically open to the unexpected eruption of words. I am a house, ready for the children who call me Home to come running back from school, their cheeks rosy and stuffed full of chocolate and expectation, and ready to let them go, as they finally leave for destinations and adventures unknown.

Its like asking the blackbirds why they sing in summer.

Friend, if you are experiencing stress, sorrow, physical or emotional pain in your life right now, it doesnt mean that your life is going wrong, that you are broken and sinful, that you have failed as a human or spiritual being, or that you are far from awakening. You may just be healing in your own original and unexpected way. Sometimes we need to feel worse for a while. Sometimes the old structures, things that we once defined and identified as me, need to crumble. Sometimes we need to be brought to our knees before we can stand again. Sometimes illusions need to die. Sometimes our sacred plans and hopes, our schemes and dreams of how things were going to turn out, need to burn to ashes on the ruthless yet ultimately compassionate bonfire of the present moment.

As we open up to life and love and healing, as we awaken from our dream of separateness, we meet not just the bliss of existence, but also its pain; not only the ecstasy of life, but its agony too. Awakening doesnt always feel good or comforting or blissful or spiritual, for we are inevitably forced to confront our deepest fears and darkest shadows those parts of ourselves that we have cut-off, denied, repressed, numbed ourselves to all these years, and the meeting can get messy to say the least.

But eventually we come to trust the process of no process at all. We learn to see even our deepest sorrow as an intelligent movement of life, not a threat to life. We remember that we are vast enough to hold all of it the good and the bad, the pain and the pleasure, the light and the dark, the agony and the ecstasy. We are not nearly as limited as we once imagined. We are life itself.

Falling In Love With Where You Are offers a simple but radical invitation: Stop waiting for the world to make you happy. Stop making your inner joy dependent on external things objects, people, circumstances, experiences, events that are out of your direct control right now. Stop playing the happiness lottery. Give yourself a break from seeking and discover the natural happiness that you are and have always been, the in-built contentment that doesnt depend on lifes ever-changing content.