Mill - Anxiety free, drug free: change your thinking and empower your mind in 90 days

Anxiety Free, Drug Free

Change your thinking and empower your mind in 90 days

by Renee Mill

Published in 2015 by Impact Press

PO Box 780, Edgecliff, NSW 2027

AUSTRALIA

www.impactpress.com.au

Copyright Renee Mill 2015

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any other information storage or retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

National Library of Australia cataloguing-in-publication data:

Author: Mill, Renee

Category: self-help, psychology

ISBN: 978-1-925183-15-3

Editorial: Sarah Plant

Design: Working Type Studio, Melbourne

Production: Jasmine Standfield

Acknowledgements

I have dedicated this book to Miriam Adahan. Despite living at different ends of the earth, and only meeting a handful of times, Miriam has been the biggest influence on my work in the past 25 years.

Miriam is a psychologist and author of many books. Her first book was called EMETT. EMETT stands for emotional maturity established through Torah and comprises psychology, Torah wisdom and a practical method to regulate emotion.

I began teaching EMETT in Johannesburg in 1989 and, despite relocating to Sydney in 1997, have continued to run at least two classes a week ever since. The four step process that I teach relies heavily on Miriam Adahans method and I thank her for graciously giving me permission to adapt her work. When I asked her if I could adapt her material, she was delighted to hear that more people would benefit from her knowledge. From her selfless gesture it is clear Miriam has internalised the values of humility, kindness, prioritising and focusing on higher goals.

Most of the tools I teach derive directly from EMETT as does much of the language. I take no credit for being original. My contribution, I believe, has been in the evolution of Miriams work into a form that is accessible to every willing individual no matter their identity. I am grateful to my publisher Jane Curry for giving me the opportunity to make this contribution.

Another major influence on my work has been Steven Covey (17). His work has heavily informed my thinking making it hard to isolate and index his contribution. Many of my beliefs and teachings have been inspired or validated by Stevens work. In particular, my chapter on prioritising yourself is an adaptation of his habit of first things first.

It is difficult for me to identify all the authors, academics and clinicians who have influenced and inspired me. This book represents my lifes work, and has grown from 32 years of practise as a clinical psychologist and eight years of working as an occupational therapist. Constant reading and updating my skills, attendance at countless workshops and counselling thousands of clients since 1974 have all resulted in my accumulated knowledge. I thank you all.

I also owe a huge debt of gratitude to my clients past and present. I have worked with each of you with love and a real drive to assist. Over the years I have refined my manual, its tools and processes by utilising them clinically and observing in vivo the effectiveness of the course. Thanks to all of you I can now say, categorically, that this method definitely works and fairly rapidly too.

It is easy to identify the wonderful people in my life who support me in my lifes mission. Lisa, my personal assistant and practice manager, helps make order out of my many creative ideas and work commitments. My good friends give my life balance and perspective.

My loving husband is an ongoing cheerleader who often has had to pick up the slack at home, something which he always does cheerfully. My beloved children and their families give me joy and the ability to persevere daily. My mother continues to make sure that I look after myself as only a loving mother can. My sister, who is also my best friend, is always there to listen and provide support.

Most of all I thank my Creator who has given me such a rich life, talents, strength and passion to complete this work. If this book improves the life of only one person, my life will have been truly blessed.

Contents

Introduction

Is this book for me?

Most people in the 21st century suffer from stress and anxiety of some kind. The official statistic is that one in four people suffer from diagnosable anxiety at any given time. (1) However, millions of people struggle to get through their day-to-day lives calmly.

This book has been written to assist any individual who is suffering from anxiety or stress. Whether your anxiety is mild, moderate or severe, the tools presented here will be useful. Even if you have never received a formal diagnosis, but you feel stressed at times, the information in this book will be of use.

What makes this book different?

This book is a practical, self-help manual that gives you the tools to lower and manage anxiety. The key word here is practical. You can jump right in and begin to utilise what you have learnt immediately. The tools are provided in a weekly format so that all you have to do is read and process them exactly as prescribed.

I have chosen those tools that have proved most helpful to my clients and synthesised them in a unique way. I have taught these tools to hundreds of people over the past 30 years, so I know that they work. All you have to do is apply yourself, and work through the manual as prescribed, to manage your fears and panic.

You may already be familiar with many of the tools. However, just reading about them, or practising them only once or twice will have no positive effect on your symptoms. It is rewiring the brain that leads to change (2) and that comes through repeated application. This book provides the wherewithal to rewire your brain. (See in particular the chapter on neuropsychotherapy.)

This book is not a textbook on anxiety. Information on differing diagnoses, causes of anxiety and other treatments are available in abundance elsewhere. (3) I consciously have chosen to focus on practical strategies because, in my experience, anxiety sufferers want relief first and foremost.

There is some theory scattered throughout the chapters, but my emphasis is on practical strategies that will make a difference to your life in a short space of time. This pattern replicates, to a large extent, the clinical process that I have successfully utilised with face-to-face clients over the past three decades.

It is not an easy task to capture a therapeutic process on paper. Likewise, it is not always easy to translate what you read into practice. For such a process to work, you need to participate fully. Specifically, you will need to answer the questions, do the exercises, keep a daily monitoring diary and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, fill out a worksheet every day.

Research shows that real and lasting change takes 90 days. (4) So it is important not to try to speed through the book. If you concentrate on learning only a few tools per week as prescribed you will be able to digest the information and assimilate it into your daily routine.

What about face-to-face therapy?

Face-to-face therapy is essential in many cases. Human beings are complex with complicated mental health issues which can be separated into three main categories:

1. emotion regulation: which includes managing the symptoms of anxiety, depression and anger