Malcolm Stern - Slay Your Dragons With Compassion: Ten Ways to Thrive Even When It Feels Impossible

To my children Melissa, Michael and Alix

This edition first published in the UK and USA in 2020 by Watkins, an imprint of Watkins Media Limited

Unit 11, Shepperton House

89-93 Shepperton Road

London N1 3DF

Design and typography copyright Watkins Media Limited 2020

Text copyright Malcolm Stern with Ben Craib 2020

The authors have asserted their right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the authors of this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission in writing from the Publishers.

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Typeset by Lapiz

Printed and bound in the UK

A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN: 978-1-78678-415-5

www.watkinspublishing.com

Malcolm Sterns invaluable book Slay Your Dragons with Compassion shows how unconditional acceptance and the power of awareness can help us transcend the suffering caused by unconscious mental-emotional conditioning, and thus bring about redemption and healing.

Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher and author

Moving and inspiring, filled with humane wisdom that is both tender and compassionately tough. Malcolm shows us how to live with authenticity and a great heart.

Jack Kornfield, author of A Path With Heart

Malcolm Stern has a beautiful, harrowing story to tell here a story of loss, suffering, resilience, and grace. His response to the dreadful pain that life dealt to him has been one of curiosity and expansion, rather than despair and a closing down of the self. What he models in Slay Your Dragons With Compassion is a practical, yet infinitely humane, method of saving your own life from the darkness. This book is an inspiration.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love

Through personal stories and through the stories of many others, Malcolm Stern has shown, in Slay Your Dragons with Compassion, that with courage and with love we are all capable of going through the dark night of the soul and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. This is a book of courage as it is a book of compassion equipped with such a marvellous tool. With this book one is able to go through the journey of life with resilience and love. If you want to know how to handle inner and outer difficulties and transcend them then it is a book for you.

Satish Kumar, editor emeritus, Resurgence & Ecologist Magazine

This is a book about a parent losing his child. A tragedy no one should ever experience. In spite of his suffering he decided to devote his life to help others who are struggling with challenges they encounter throughout their lives. Through his psychotherapeutic practice, Malcolm has helped countless people to overcome their difficulties and make a success of their life. I applaud him for his courage.

Eva Schloss, MBE, President of the Anne Frank Trust UK

Malcolms journey of self-discovery through the tragic loss of his daughter is one that I can only imagine: the deep pain, sadness and helplessness he felt from her premature departure is unimaginable.

With deep heartache and tragedy comes the possibility of deep growth physically & spiritually

This is why I have so much love for Malcolm, for even in his darkest moments he is willing to face his dragons head on. Rather than being consumed by them, Malcolm approached his uncomfortable journey with a deeper sense of compassion and inquiry, knowing that ultimately it was only himself that he was facing every time he ran into a so-called dragon. Adopting this intuitive wisdom of being gentle in these difficult times was actually his greatest power.

Craig David, musician

We are so lucky to have people in this world who help guide us on this great journey of life - Malcolm is one them. This book and his life work show us that we can be released from being prisoners of ourselves and hope is always present. His deeply personal experiences within his own family and within the groups he supports shows us the way so that no half lived lives are not pre-destined and we learn to understand the very nature of being In the 21st-century. This book is full of clues and the reality of our lives in this era where there is a complex web of a social and psychological crisis - Malcom shows us a way even when it takes trauma or death to wake us up to a more enlightened life with a strong sense of purpose - slaying our dragons is a strong and relevant metaphorical antidote and medicine. It can take a lifetime to fix ourselves and with this book it helps us to understand that we have the choice to do this at any time and embrace the necessary change needed. Thank you, Malcolm, - an important pilgrim for us all in guiding and educating us all to how challenges in life can be transformed.

Roger Tempest, CEO Broughton Hall

Slay Your Dragons With Compassion is a profound personal healing journey. It is about strengthening the will to face difficult life challenges, including painful ones, and working towards evermore compassionate awareness. Some of the methods Malcolm describes are close to the Buddhist philosophy, focused on the practice of conscious living, not rejecting but looking closely at our problems, becoming aware of them, and allowing the space for them to transform, and liberate us. Life is about embracing ever-present change and meaningfully sharing our life with others and the book is a celebration of this.

Lama Chime Rinpoche, Dharma teacher

Malcolm is an authentic pathfinder, facilitator, old school elder and inspiration teacher. Within the pages of this book are priceless insight, wisdom and guidance.

Mel Carlile, Chair Mind Body Spirit Events

This book is the authors Heroic Journey through his personal tragedy with deep, penetrating self-examination, compassionately human and transparent. The eventual liberating transcendence came through with his humble and loving ways, he whole-heartedly embraces his dragons. Malcolm has gifted us with this most moving, insightful and very wise human story.

Chungliang Al Huang, author

What a lovely, moving, and honest book, spoken from the heart to the heart, and helping us to negotiate our way through the trickiest challenges of living and loving. Dont miss it.

Dr Dina Glouberman, Skyros Holidays co-founder, author, psychotherapist

Slay Your Dragons with Compassion is one heartfelt, compelling roller-coaster in which Malcolm demonstrates his remarkable gift to share the devastation of personal love and loss, with a courage and a compassion that transforms, nourishes, inspires and interweaves his original narrative and philosophy, with wise guiding principles and practices. Slay Your Dragons with Compassion offers us a substantial empowering way to, build the capacity to thrive in an unstable world.

Chloe Goodchild, singing philosopher, voice therapist and author

Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves.