Susan Campbell - Saying Whats Real: Seven Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success

Compassionate, easily accessible, and profoundly practical, Saying Whats Real is a wonderful resource for all who wish to experience successful communication and the intimacy that results from truly understanding each other.

In Saying Whats Real, Susan Campbell offers her readers an executive summary for good communication. The seven phrases are simple and effectiveemploy them and your relationships will undoubtedly improve.

There is no book I have ever come across that so cleanly, clearly, and simply outlines the skills that will allow you to truly hear your partner and be heard. If you want rich and healing communications in your relationship, this is the book for you.

Saying Whats Real is the clearest and most useful guide to successful relating imaginable! If everyone practiced these key communication strategies there would be much more happiness and many fewer divorces!

An H J Kramer Book

published in a joint venture with

New World Library

Copyright 2005 Susan M. Campbell

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, or other without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

Cover design by Bill Mifsud

Text design and typography by Tona Pearce Myers

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Campbell, Susan M., 1941

Saying whats real : seven keys to authentic communication and relationship success / Susan M. Campbell. 1st ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 1-932073-12-4 (pbk. : alk. paper)

1. Interpersonal communication. I. Title.

BF637.C45C33 2005

First printing, February 2005

ISBN 1-932073-12-4

Printed in Canada on acid-free, partially recycled paper

Distributed to the trade by Publishers Group West

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

O ver the years I have read dozens of books about relationships hoping to better understand and improve my own relationships. Apparently, many other people have done the same thing, and I am not alone in this quest for insight. The plethora of relationship books being published today points to a real need for these books. At best, relationship issues are difficult. And as our awareness of gender equality and relationship roles has grown and changed, these issues have become more and more challenging.

I first became aware of Susan Campbells pioneering work through her book The Couples Journey. Of the many books on relationships I had read, this was the only one that squarely addressed the issues of longevity and full equality. It changed my whole understanding of what it takes to be successful in a long-term, committed relationship. Susans approach to relationships informed and improved my own work on personal growth. I have since become an avid follower of her work.

Today she is an acknowledged leader in relationship consciousness. With her most recent book, Truth in Dating, and the reality TV show (based on her book) that she moderates, Susan has further broadened her influence, sharing her relationship expertise and encouraging relationship intimacy to a continuously growing audience. When Susan asked me to write the foreword to her new book, I immediately accepted this opportunity to turn more people on to her work.

Saying Whats Real: Seven Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success is an excellent resource for our new collective consciousness on how to thrive as humans and create true love through honesty in all our relationships.

Honesty is not easy. The famous studies done by Hugh Hartshorne and Mark May in the early 1930s showed clearly that everyone cheats and lies a little. Part of our dishonesty is unconscious. Many of us have repressed our true feelings, wants, and beliefs for so long that we do not know what is truly real about ourselves. It takes hard work, a willingness to be rigorously honest, and a belief that the truth will set us free to give our real selves a new birth.

Being your honest self is a challenge, and Susans seven keys in Saying Whats Real are excellent tools to help you communicate more honestly. To change, we have to take action. The tools provided in this book will unequivocally help you to discover your true reality so that you can say what you really feel, want, and believe. At the same time, the keys will help you achieve a new level of connectedness with your significant other and with others in your life.

An honest transformation will take place, perhaps not instantly, but certainly over time. Intimacy is impossible without honesty, and honesty will reveal each persons uniqueness. Even if your partner does not use these tools, your relationship will become more honest and real if you use them because it will allow your partner to know the real you.

What I like most about this book is its call for us to learn about and enjoy each others differences. When we are in touch with what is real in ourselves and are willing to express it, others will necessarily see that our feelings, wants, and beliefs are not always the same as their feelings, wants, and beliefs. In fact, sometimes they are radically different.