Naomi Ardea - The Art of Healing from Sexual Trauma

THE ART OF HEALING FROM SEXUAL TRAUMA copyright 2016 by Naomi Ardea. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form whatsoever, by photography or xerography or by any other means, by broadcast or transmission, by translation into any kind of language, nor by recording electronically or otherwise, without permission in writing from the author, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in critical articles or reviews.

This book is intended to further general knowledge and understanding of sexual trauma and the conditions experienced by persons who have been subjected to sexual trauma. This book is not meant to be used, nor should it be used, to diagnose or treat any physical or mental health condition. It is not intended to serve as and should not be relied upon as recommending or promoting any specific remedies, practices, or procedures, and it is not intended as a substitute for advice from a qualified health care professional. The publisher and author are not responsible for any specific health or allergy needs that may require medical supervision and are not liable for any damages or negative consequences that may result from following any technique or practice discussed herein. References are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute endorsement of any websites or other sources.

ISBN 13: 978-1-63489-915-4

eISBN 13: 978-1-63489-914-7

Library of Congress Catalog Number: 2016937264

For my sister and my son, for helping me remember the little girl who loved to play

• *Dedication*
• *Safe Content*
• Medical Note
• *Introduction*
• Womb: Looking Within
• Womb
• Ruminating
• Spiraling Inward
• *Cultivating Inner Awareness*
• *SURVIVORS TOOLBOX: Cultivating Inner Awareness*
• Open Space
• Emerge: Allowing Emotions to Flow
• Emerge
• Illuminating Pain
• A Heart
• Healing Episode
• *Allowing Emotions to Flow*
• *CREATIVE SELF-CARE FOR ALLOWING EMOTIONS TO FLOW*
• *SURVIVORS TOOLBOX: Painting toward WholenessExpressive Painting with Inner Awareness*
• *Open Space*
• Coming into Focus: Lifting Away Self-Blame
• Coming into Focus
• Small Me
• Healing Episode
• *Disappearing Self-Blame*
• *CREATIVE SELF-CARE FOR SELF-BLAME*
• *Open Space*
• Descending: Understanding Triggers
• Descending
• Grieving
• Healing Episode
• Clarifying Triggers
• *CREATIVE SELF-CARE FOR TRIGGERS*
• *Open Space*
• Gathering My Self: Redefining Boundaries
• Me, a Tree... Self-Portrait on a Good Day
• People
• *Redefining Boundaries*
• *CREATIVE SELF-CARE FOR STRENGTHENING BOUNDARIES*
• *Open Space*
• Reconnection: Easing Dissociation
• Cradling Insanity
• Healing Episode
• Recognizing Dissociation
• *CREATIVE SELF-CARE FOR DISSOCIATION*
• *SURVIVORS TOOLBOX: Easing Dissociation and Rebuilding Boundaries through the Body*
• *Open Space*
• Expanding: Balancing Darkness with Light
• Expanding
• Light Ascending
• *Honoring Light & Dark through Photography*
• *SURVIVORS TOOLBOX: Nurturing Lightness*
• Open Space
• Body Wise: Listening to My Body's Healing Guidance
• Get Out of Me
• Fear
• Healing Episode
• Healing Episode
• Mapping My Body
• *SURVIVORS TOOLBOX: Intuition Flowing from Inner Awareness*
• *Open Space*
• Out Rage: Honoring Truth in Anger
• Out Rage
• Healing Episode
• Embracing Anger
• *CREATIVE SELF-CARE FOR ANGER*
• *Open Space*
• Untwisting My Core: Reclaiming My Sexuality
• Twisted
• Letting Light into the Depths
• Reclaiming My Sexuality
• *CREATIVE SELF-CARE FOR SEXUALITY*
• *Open Space*
• Returning: Relying on the Healing Powers of Nature
• Forest Path
• Three Earths
• Healing Episode
• *Nature as Healing Ally*
• *CREATIVE SELF-CARE FOR CONNECTING WITH NATURE*
• *Open Space*
• *Building a Foundation of Creative Self-Care*
• *Self-Care Techniques*
• *SURVIVORS TOOLBOX: How to Choose Self-Care*
• *SURVIVORS TOOLBOX: Creating Self-Care Reminders*
• *Getting Help from Others*
• *SURVIVORS TOOLBOX: Creatively Exploring Body, Brain, and Soul Connections*
• *Resources*
• *Thank You*
• Ripple Effects

In this ebook, sections with safe content (without common triggers, including abuse, psychological trauma, etc.) have titles marked with an asterisk (*).

The ideas, practices, and self-care techniques presented in this book are not a form of, or a substitute for, professional psychotherapy or medical care. If you are experiencing symptoms of trauma, you may need to consult qualified professional help. If you choose to perform these self-care techniques on your own, and if you experience physical or emotional reactions that feel too intense to manage, you should seek professional help. Primary care physicians, rape crisis centers, and social service organizations may provide referrals for psychotherapy or other professional help.

This takes courage. Within these pages, I share deeply personal details about what healing from sexual abuse has looked like for me. I am one of those one-in-four women who has been sexually abused. One-in-six men have been sexually abused. Im shocked by these frequently quoted statistics.

How did I grow up with so little understanding of sexual abuse?

Its everywhere, indirectly or directly affecting us. Why was it so hard to find good help when a professional mentor crossed sexual boundaries with me? Why did I feel so alone and confused as I uncovered my own childhood sexual abuse history?

The answer is simple. So few people talk about sexual abuse, and few people share details from their moment-by-moment, day-by-day healing journeys.

I feel compelled to step up and fill a portion of this void with my words, paintings, photographs, and healing experiences. I hope these personal expressions will deepen the understanding of others and give clarity to the impact of sexual abuse. These truths need to exist in the open, beyond therapy rooms, private journals, and online victim support forums. As a society, we need to support and advocate for those who have been hurt.

I wrote this book with myself in mind as well. It is healing for me to imagine giving a copy of this book to the distraught woman I was many years ago. Id tell her to trust her feelings and to keep listening for her own inner voice for guidance on how she can heal her wounds. Id want her to know thats how she came to be writing this book to help herself and others.

Im disheartened that, for legal reasons, Im unable to share more information about the abuses Ive lived through. In order to publish while my abusers are still living, the details would have to be altered, which felt exhausting and dishonest. However, the aftermath I describe is the truth, as are the healing practices Ive adopted.

I offer my experiences to encourage others to share. Together, unsilenced, we can heal.