Table of Contents
GIFT
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Youre going to learn several mindfulness methods in this book to help you bust out of negative thinking and overcome anxiety. While Im all about gaining knowledge, Im also about application. Its one thing to intellectually learn these methods and be excited as youre reading but then not implement them into your life.
With application in mind, Ive created a downloadable PDF for you. It outlines the mindfulness methods youll learn in this book. When youre knee-deep in negative thinking and up to your nose in anxiety, the last thing youll want to do is pick up an entire book, flip through it, and find the section you need. It would be much easier to quickly browse one sheet of paper, identify the mindfulness method you require at that moment and apply it so you can feel happier.
The PDF is minimal, using just enough words to trigger your memory about each mindfulness method so you dont have to spend any more than a few seconds scanning the document to find what you need. To someone who hasnt read the book, the PDF wont make sense or be of use, so dont use the PDF in lieu of reading the book. But to someone who has read the entire book, the PDF document will act as the perfect reminder you need to stay on track and apply the methods discovered here.
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www.nicsaluppo.com/gifts
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Introduction
The Life Sucking Nature of
Negative Thinking
If youre reading this book, Im guessing youve experienced having the life sucked out of you by negative thinking and anxiety. Ive included both terms in the title, negative thinking and anxiety, because they work together like a 1-2 punch combo. It doesnt matter which comes firsteither way, you end up drained and discouraged at best, or severely depressed, even suicidal, at worst. Thats why addressing this issue is so important. This is about undergoing a transformation from pain and misery to a life of joy and excitement.
If a negative thought comes first, feelings of anxiety join in soon thereafter. Now, youre in a cycle of negative thoughts fueling anxiety and anxiety fueling more negative thoughts. The same is true if anxiety gets the ball rolling. You might breathe rapidly, feel your heart rate increase, or notice your body tense up, all of which are symptoms of anxiety. From there, negative thoughts about the anxious feelings swarm your brain.
This 1-2 combo isnt always debilitating in a traditional sense. When youre sick, you could be laid up in bed for a few days, too weak to do anything. If you break a leg, you probably wont be mountain climbing any time soon. However, with negative thinking, youre more like the walking dead. You get out of bed, feed yourself, and maybe even go to work every day. From the outside, all seems well. But on the inside, theres so much mental and emotional turmoil you dont know if you can make it through even one more day. Thats how it was for me.
During the first couple of years suffering from this plight, I was functioning but drained all the time. Negative thinking can zap your energy more than a CrossFit workout. For me, it showed, as I could easily take 3-hour naps due to the sheer mental and emotional stress of having a constant battle raging in my brain.
After a few years, the daily load became too much, and I crumbled. My body looked fine from the outside, but I was breaking down on the inside. Constantly, I was in a negative state, and suicidal thoughts eventually crept in. Youll see what happened next in the section titled My Journey, coming up in just a few pages.
Lets shine the spotlight on a key insight before moving to the next sectionan insight that was true for myself and is true for the clients in my office. Its this: Naturally, youll try with all your might to address the person, issue, or circumstance youre having negative thoughts or anxious feelings about . This is the mistake that keeps you in the life sucking cycle.
If only I could fix the things Im worrying about and criticizing myself for, life would be peaceful and happy. Not true. My mentor, Ron, who youll hear about occasionally in this book, said, The things youre thinking negatively about arent the problem. The negative thinking itself is the problem. This is huge.
Thats what she said. (Fan of The Office , anyone?)
I thought I was thinking negatively due to what I perceived as the many awful things happening in my life. However, when an issue or person stopped being problematic, I found another reason to think negatively and feel anxious. It was endless. It certainly would have been my doom had I not stopped obsessing over the objects of my negative thoughts and addressed that I could, and would, think negatively about, well, anything. I would find some external person, situation, group, or object to project my internal negativity onto.
To outsmart negative thinking, youll need to flip your paradigm. Stop thinking that if only you could fix the problem youre obsessing over, then your negative thinking will stop. It wont! Youve seen this play out dozens of times because you always find something new to be negative and anxious about. Instead, its time to think in ways that are helpful and encourage growth. Thats the antidote to negative thinking and anxiety: Focusing on ways of thinking which move you towards growth as opposed to thinking in terms of worst-case scenarios and ceaseless self-judgment.
Making the switch from seeing your unhappiness as caused by external circumstances to taking ownership of the fact that you tend towards thinking negatively is the hard part. If youre like I was, you badly, desperately , want to pin the blame on situations rather than on your general approach to thinking. Unfortunately, this is a never-ending battle, as there will always be something new to project your negativity onto. As soon as one problem is solved, your mind will find another to project its negativity onto. Theres no way around thisto outsmart negative thinking, you must see it as an internal thinking problem and not an external circumstantial problem.
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Once youve done the hard part of switching your mindset, it gets easier. The mindfulness methods can be utilized within seconds and with minimal effort. Again, the catch is that you have to believe your unhappiness and struggle are coming from the way you think about circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.
To inspire you, consider a few examples. First, two mountain bikers (MTBers) both break a leg (not the good kind of breaking a leg) and cant ride for six months. MTBer A focuses on the fact that he cant do what he loves most. Every day, his mind is fixated on the fact that he cant have a biking adventure on the mountain. Hes exhausted and miserable. When the six months are over, hes in such a negative place that the prospect of gaining his strength back and redeveloping his skills on the bike is overwhelming and discouraging.
MTBer B focuses his attention on reading a few books that had been on his list for a while. He also creates artwork because it gives him a way to express himself. With the new information in his mind from reading the books plus the creativity flowing through him from doing art, he gets an idea for a website. By the time the six months are over, MTBer B has improved his mind, expressed himself creatively, and implemented a new stream of income on his website. Hes excited about the upcoming challenge of building his strength and practicing his technical riding skills.
