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CONTENTS
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Congratulations on taking an important step forward in your healing journey by picking up this workbook. Admitting your life has been impacted by verbal abuse and beginning to take active steps to heal are no easy feats. In fact, these steps to start your recovery are some of the most difficult ones to take. Its hard to admit how much another persons words and actions have hurt you and then to reach out for help.
I hope the Verbal Abuse Recovery Workbook will become an important tool for you to use in your healing journey. In my nearly two decades of work in the mental health and domestic violence fields, Ive seen how deeply verbal abuse can affect peoples lives, relationships, and mental well-being. Countless counseling clients, research participants, and people Ive met through my advocacy work have shared with me their stories of verbal and other forms of abuse, and these stories have helped me understand how complex verbal abuse can be.
In addition to my professional experiences, Ive also personally experienced verbal abuse within the context of a romantic relationship. Ive been on my own journey of recovery from abuse, and Ive learned some valuable (if sometimes painful) life lessons from that experience that Ill share throughout this workbook.
Verbal abuse can be defined as a pattern of using hurtful words and related actions to gain and maintain power and control over another person. Verbal abuse can occur in all types of relationshipsromantic relationships, friendships, relationships with family members, and those in the workplace. Some people face verbal abuse in just one relationship, whereas others experience verbal abuse in multiple relationships at different points in their lives. This workbook is designed to be helpful no matter which category you fall into.
Its normal to have a lot of difficult emotions in the aftermath of verbal abuse, and this is expected. You may feel anxious, confused, frustrated, and even ashamed of or embarrassed about your experiences. Some peoples emotions grow further into a traumatic response and may result in mental health symptoms such as depression, anxiety disorders, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). For this reason, along with the value that professional support can add to the verbal abuse recovery process, its important to seek the help of a trained mental health professional if youre concerned about the severity of any symptoms youre facing. This is especially important if your symptoms are affecting your work, relationships, and motivation, or causing you a lot of distress. At the end of this book, youll find a list of resources to help you find a professional in your area.
There should be no shame in acknowledging that youve faced verbal abuse. Abuse can happen to virtually anyone, despite the stereotype that abuse is typically experienced by people who are weak, vulnerable, or from certain demographic backgrounds. Throughout this book, Ill use the term victim to refer to someone who is currently facing abuse and the term survivor to refer to someone whose experiences are in the past. This book is mostly written for survivors of past verbal abuse, although many people start their recovery journey while theyre still facing abuse. I hope this workbook will offer support, whether you have experienced verbal abuse recently or in the distant past.