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ISBN: Print 978-1-64739-076-1 | eBook 978-1-64739-077-8
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I dedicate this book to my family, especially my husband, Damien, and extraordinary dog, Willis, who provided me with unlimited cups of tea, unconditional emotional support, and belly rubs.
CONTENTS
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You feel so much, but you keep going.
At the end of my eight-year participation in a group psychotherapy practice, I sat quietly, my eyes full of tears and heart full of gratitude as my fellow therapists expressed their wishes for me as I expanded my private practice to a full-time endeavor. The practice, a healing oasis nestled above the busy streets of Madison Avenue in Midtown Manhattan, New York City, had a lovely ritual of giving departing members verbal and written messages of love and support as they moved on to the next phase of their lives.
Though I had known for quite a while I needed to expand my existing private practice, I was absolutely terrified to go out on my own. With the love and support of my irreplaceable mentor, Mary, and, in hindsight, the gift of hotel construction next to my office, I finally decided to leave my nest. The unrelenting jackhammers were the universes way of letting me know it was time.
As we moved through the goodbye ritual and reflections, one of my colleagues said, You feel so much, but you just keep going. I noticed my body flinch and tense, my face tighten, and a feeling of anger rise in my chest. I feel SO MUCH and keep going? Though I do believe this fellow therapists comment was meant as a compliment, it left me feeling a wee bit defensive and also confused. Was there something wrong with how much I feel and experience? Was it a surprise that I could feel so much and still function? Was I supposed to collapse if I expressed sadness, anger, or anxiety?
What did my immediate feeling of anger mean? Why was I so conditioned to defend myself when someone brought up my sensitivity?
I had identified as a highly sensitive person (HSP) for several years and had even been given an opportunity to do training about highly sensitive people at my practice. I wondered if that training conveyed the true nature of the highly sensitive person. After I sat with my momentary irritation and anger, I realized how sensitivity can be so misunderstood and how it was part of my mission and calling as a therapist to assist other highly sensitive people to identify their strengths, work through their personal traumas and challenges, and let their positive traits shine. My colleague was right; I can feel so much, and I can keep going. You, my dear highly sensitive human, can, too.
The training I provided did not convey the full strength and power of highly sensitive people and all the gifts we can bring to this world. I know my strength now more than ever because as I write this the world is currently moving through the COVID-19 pandemic.
I am feeling so much, and I am still going. I am holding my own fear, sadness, and grief and holding space for my loved ones and my dear clients. I felt the anxiety in the air before the crisis began to crystallize; I felt the rush of panic as I had to leave my office and establish my practice online. I felt the sadness in my neighbors eyes as we crossed paths on the way to wherever we would take refuge for an undetermined amount of time.
I imagine you relating to these emotions as you read these words. We feel it all.
