BEHAVING BRAVELY
HOW TO MINDSHIFT LIFES CHALLENGES
BY
ANITA K
WITH MICHAEL ASHLEY
Behaving Bravely
Copyright 2019 by Anita K
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced
by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
ISBN: 9781077291164
ASIN:1077291167
Contents
This Book is
~Inspired by my father, Kanti~
I commit to carry out a bigger purpose beyond myself for others around me.
~Dedicated to my daughter, Sanam~
Know when you commit to something beyond yourself, a true achievement will follow.
In experiencing you both, I have humbly learned the meaning of commitment.
Foreword
Watching contemporary American movies and TV, you might think every South Asian is either a doctor, a computer whiz, or some other kind of academic overachiever. Like all ethnic stereotypes, this is an overly broad and unfair characterizationbut one containing a kernel of truth.
In the South Asian culture, parents expect much from their offspring: to be a golden child, a straight-A student who goes on to become a successful doctor, lawyer, or millionaire entrepreneur. The drive to distinguish yourself academically, professionally, and financially is baked in from birth. Of course, not all South Asians are destined for a safe career. Some of us desire other things. We want to be chefs, coaches, artists, innovators, athletes.
And, in my case, an actor.
As a kid, I was far more interested in music and films than other South Asians of my age. None of my friends had much enthusiasm for acting or filmmaking. Luckily, my brother shared my artistic proclivities, and together we would film skits and mini-movies. I was equally lucky that while members of the South Asian community can be a bit judgmental and gossipy, my parents fully supported me when I announced I wanted to become a professional actor.
Of course, they were concerned about show businesss reputation for unpredictability and my limited chances of making a living as a performer, regardless of how much talent or training I might possess. Other members of my extended family werent so charitable. They discouraged me from what they saw as a foolish pursuit. In fact, just about everyone I knew saw my desire to act as a phase that I would eventually outgrow.
To keep peace in my family, I kept my interest in the arts compartmentalized as I continued to receive a traditional education in a profession promising a steady income upon graduation. However, when my first break occurredI was offered a part in the 2011 made-for-TV high school fantasy/comedy Teen Spirit I happily hopped off the academic track and committed myself full time to performing. I decided I didnt care what anyone else thought. I was going to do what made me happy.
This is what we call being ones authentic self. Its the only path to true happiness Im aware of. And its the focus of Anita Ks BRAVE program, of which Im a huge and enthusiastic fan. Without a doubt, I understand why being brave, why finding the courage to pursue things that make you happy and fulfilled, can be difficult for many people.
Unfortunately, we are all scarred by childhood fears and traumas, by lifes failures and disappointments. We also live in a time in which many of our most fundamental rights and cherished beliefs are under assault. Breaking free of social constraints takes daring and a willingness to endure judgment and criticism, often from those closest to us. Personally, I have nothing but respect for those who choose to venture beyond their comfort zones to seek a better career, better relationships, greater wisdom, or just a better life.
Anita herself is a great example of this at work. She wasnt fulfilled in either her marriage or professional life. Even though she did her best to hang on, sought professional counseling, and explored outside solutions, she realized she needed to create her own program if she was going to achieve any degree of personal happiness. Which is exactly what she did. In the process, she discovered that she loved helping others, thus turning a series of setbacks into a successful and meaningful lifes calling. Through her brave example, she shows us that if you adhere to your principles and hold yourself accountable, victory and joy can be yours.
Fundamental to Anitas approach is a term she coined: benevolief . A combination of the words benevolent and belief, the first part is critical, because most of us cling to beliefs that are, for lack of a better word, malevolent. We may believe were not good enough. That were too young, too old, too inexperienced, or over-qualified for whatever it is we seek. Too often we believe the odds are stacked against us; that the game is rigged.
All these beliefs do is hold us back.
Yet, Anita reminds us we can only achieve the things we believe we can achieve. Her timely message is that its essential we approach any problem, situation, or challenge from the most positive angle. Anita also emphasizes the need to mindbreak to mindshift . Paradigm-changing, these two activities describe the incredible power of transforming yourself from the inside out to improve your world. For years, Ive practiced similar techniques, including creating vision boards , to foster the type of thinking that will create desired life changes. Like Anita, I believe if you put out good thoughts and energy, this positivity will eventually become manifest.
Beyond these simple but profound concepts, BRAVE provides a structure for personal development. Its a roadmap for attaining your goals, whatever they may be. Likewise, each chapters exercises force you to dig deeply, to reach the core of who you are as an individual. Along with helpful affirmations and illustrative case studies, the books powerful material can shine a light on whats needed to make the changes you wish to see in your life.
Ultimately, I am so thrilled that Anita finally put her principles into print so others can benefit and grow. We all need to conquer our fears. We all need to find happiness. We all need to discover our authentic selves.
We all need to be BRAVE.
~Paras Patel, Los Angeles, June 2019
*****
Paras Patel is a professional actor. A first-generation Indian-American now living in Los Angeles, his credits include the TV series The Chosen, Revolution , NCIS: Los Angeles , Nashville , Ray Donovan , and Fresh Off the Boat , as well as the movies: Teen Spirit and The Duff .
Chapter 1
Bravery Now
Your strength, your beauty, your answers are in your journey; always keep going.
What, Another Self-Help Book?
Over the past 100 years, literally hundreds of books have been published offering people ways to find happiness and success. From Dale Carnegies How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), to motivational expert Tony Robbins Unlimited Power (1987), to Rhonda Byrnes The Secret (2006), writers, psychologists, lecturers, and business gurus have offered readers directions on how to live longer, healthier, more fulfilling lives. How to get rich. How to find love. How to raise children. How to lose weight. How to live to be 100. How to find meaning in life. No aspect of the human condition has gone unaddressed.
Yet, we all seek answers. And its no wonder why. Many of us feel troubled and confused. Society has developed innumerable ways to make us anxious. Advertisers tell us were not beautiful enough, not exciting enough, not cool enough. Were too fat or too thin. Too young or too old. We dont wear the right clothes. We dont drive the right cars. We dont use the right technology or wear the right body spray. We dont have enough fun. If we would just buy this particular toothpaste, lease this car, line up for this smartphone, swallow this pill, take this cruise, or vote for this political candidate, then wed make more money, have more friends, appear more attractive, be more productive, feel better, and just be so much happier.