Faith Jenkins - Sis, Dont Settle: How to Stay Smart in Matters of the Heart

Sis, I know what youre thinking, there are so many books geared toward women about what to do to land a man. The truth is we dont have to do much. And the people who write such books tend to be men. I appreciate the advice our men have to offer, but theres only so much they can understand about being women in relationshipsabout as much as they know about Aunt Flo or strapless bras.

Sis, Dont Settle is for women not interested in metamorphosing into fishermen trying to catch a man or holding a player captive in a short-lived relationship. In this book, were going to dig deep. Were not looking into how to manipulate anyone into a committed relationship. Its about becoming a woman with such a fulfilled life that anyone you bring to the table is only adding to the equation. This book is our book. Its about being centered on loving and growing no matter what Idris Elba creation walks into your life. Its a road map on how to play it smart, and manifest a destiny that involves ending up with someone ready and available for authentic loveno settling required!

If youre single, divorced, dating, happily un-entangled, or married, love is the universal language, and I want you to master that language. If the problems in love are universal, so are the solutions. You dont need a set of rigid rules to win at love; you simply need to understand and apply the universal truths and not forget them when your so-called Mr. Right walks through the door.

Sis, Dont Settle is a guide to activating every layer of vitality and greatness inside of youand applying it to the relationships and life you envision. And as a guide, there will be a lot of practical advice on how to deal with peer pressure for not being in a relationship by a certain age, finding happiness in your singleness, Dating 101, how to become the right person to attract the right person, how to properly identify red flags, communication Dos and Donts (when to text or call), dealing with rejection, healing from toxic relationships, the sex factor, and much more, so that you stop dating creeps and drones, and end sucky relationship cyclones and roller coasters once and for all. You got this.

I want you to dig deeper into who you are so you can clearly define the life and love that you want. All of us have a limited number of years on earth. What do you want your relationships to look like? Not messy, right? How do you want to spend the precious moments you have ahead of you? Not on flakes. Who do you want to spend it with? Not with someone who you have to beg to be there. When youve done the proper self-assessment, you will choose better, and instead of falling in love, youll walk into it with your eyes wide open. Make a well-informed, purposeful, smart decision to go down a relationship path with the Forever Love you deserve. Having such a grand vision for your life gives it special meaning. It makes the journey all the more fun and interesting because of who you will become on your way. We never arrive in life. We simply reach milestones. I am going to help you reach this oneafter reading this book, youll never settle in love again. Youll attract the love you deserve.

I dont presume to be the ultimate expert on relationships, but I have dealt with thousands of women on the issues in their relationshipswomen from all demographics, cultures, circumstances, and situationsduring my years as a judge on Judge Faith and Divorce Court and prior to that in my decade-long practice in New York that included family court. As a result, Im acutely aware of where women make choices that are not in their hearts best interest. Ive also been dating, relating, breaking up, and making up for a long time too (before I married). Ive made some of the same mistakes as people in my courtroom. (Yes, girl, I did orchestrate that full-on search and seizure of my news anchor boyfriends apartment, when he was out of town on vacation. SMH. Forgive me.)

You can be successful in your career and a failure in matters of the heart. You can be a smart person in life, yet clueless in love. As women, we often learn this the hard way. Were all human, with hungry hearts. We all make mistakes. To be truly smart and successful in relationships, we have to learn from them.

My job is to be the judgeand Ive given raw feedback, served straight without any chaser to people whove heeded my advice and managed to change their lives for the better. Unlike a therapist, who takes years to get to the heart of a patients bad choices, I call my litigants out on theirs in the moment, and I tell them exactly how theyve screwed up and how to fix their lives moving forward. This book may not be for everybody. Some women want shortcuts and quick fixes to lock down their latest F-boythis book is not that. Were past hook-ups. If youre reading this book, youre a woman looking for something different (or a man trying to understand what accomplished and successful women want out of life and love). Either way: youre in the right place.

No settling starts here right now.

Ladies, understand that you are the protagonist of your own story, and its time you gave yourself permission to have the love you desire in your life. If that includes a loving, healthy marriage, then thats exactly what you can have. But you have to start being smart when it comes to matters of the heart.

Sis, Dont Settle is a pledge that Id like you to make to yourself right now. I want you to promise yourself that you will hold out for the love you want because I know, if you put the principles of this book into practice, you will attract that love. However, like Mandy Hale said, Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love but dont put your life on hold waiting for love. When you commit to a life of love you are also committing to courageously examining what makes you uniquely you. This then lets you take the next step of extending that love outside of you.