John of Kronstadt - My Life in Christ: 2 Volume Set: The Spiritual Journals of St John of Kronstadt

The Spiritual Journals
of
St John of Kronstadt

(Archpriest Ivan Ilyich Sergiev)

Part 1

Revised and adapted (with reference to the original Russian text)
from the translation of E. E. Goulaeff
by Nicholas Kotar

Holy Trinity Publications
The Printshop of St Job of Pochaev
Holy Trinity Monastery
Jordanville, New York
2015

Printed with the blessing of His Eminence, Metropolitan Hilarion First Hierarch of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia

My Life In Christ: Part 1
2015 Holy Trinity Monastery

ISBN: 978-0-88465-387-5 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-0-88465-408-7 (ePub)
ISBN: 978-0-88465-409-4 (Mobipocket)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015947994

Cover Design: James Bozeman
Photos: View of the merchants harbor in Kronstadt 2014 Messiahphoto at dreamstime.com
St. Andrews Church in Kronstadt 2013 Alexandra Vasileva at dreamstime.com
Archpriest John Ilyich Sergiev 1984 Holy Trinity Monastery

Scripture passages taken from the New King James Version.
Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission.

Psalms taken from A Psalter for Prayer, trans. David James
(Jordanville, N.Y.: Holy Trinity Publications, 2011).

Apocryphal passages taken from the Orthodox Study Bible.
Copyright 2008 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission.

All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America

I do not precede my book with any introduction: let it speak for itself. Everything contained in it is nothing less than the inspiration of grace within my soul, bestowed by the all-enlightening Holy Spirit during moments of deep attentiveness and self-examination, and especially during prayer. When I had time, I wrote down the grace-filled thoughts and feelings that came to me, and from these notes, continued for many years, this book has now been compiled; the contents are quite varied, as will be seen by the readers. Let them judge for themselves.

But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one (1 Cor 2:15).

Archpriest Ivan Sergiev

And this is eternal life, that they might know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent (John 17:3).

Y ou, O God, have opened wide to me Your truth and Your righteousness. By instructing me in the natural sciences, You have opened to me all the riches of faith, of human nature, and of human reason; I have learned Your wordthe word of Lovepiercing even to the division of soul and spirit (Heb 4:12). I have studied the workings of mans mind, his love of wisdom, the formation and the beauty of speech. I have penetrated in part into the mysteries and laws of Nature, into the mystery of the creation of this world and the laws governing it. I learned about the population of our planet; I have acquainted myself with its different peoples, with historical luminaries and their works who have passed in turn through this world. I have begun to study the great science of self-knowledge and of how to draw closer to You; in a word, I have learned many, many thingsfor things beyond human insight have been shown to you (Sir 3:22.), and I have a great deal yet to learn. I own many books in many different genres; I have read and re-read them, but still I am not satisfied. My spirit still thirsts for further knowledge and my heart is not content; it hungers, and from all the knowledge thus acquired by the intellect, it cannot find consolation. When will it be satisfied? It will only be satisfied when in righteousness shall I appear before Thy face; when Thy glory is revealed, I shall be satisfied (Psalm 16:15). Until then, I shall continue to hunger. Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life (John 4:1314), said the Lord.

How is it that the saints see us and our needs and hear our prayers? Let us make the following comparison: suppose that you were suddenly transported to the sun and were united to it. The sun lights the whole earth with its rays; it illuminates every grain of sand on the earth. In these rays you also see the earth, but you are so small in proportion to the sun, that you would form, so to speak, only one ray, and there are an infinite number of such rays. By association with the sun, each ray is intimately involved in the suns illumination of the whole world. So also the saintly soul, having become united to God, its spiritual sun, sees all men and the needs of those that pray, through the mediation of the spiritual sun that lights the whole universe.

* * *

Have you learned to see God before you at all times, as ever-present Reason, as the living, dynamic Word, as the Life-giving Holy Spirit? The Holy Scripture is the domain of Reason, Word, and Spirit, of the Triune God. In Scripture, He clearly manifests Himself: The words that I have spoken to youthey are full of the Spirit and life (John 6:63), said the Lord. The writings of the Holy Fathers are also the expression of the hypostatic Reason, Word, and Spirit, in synergy with the spirit of mankind. The writings of ordinary worldly men, on the other hand, are the expression of the fallen spirit of mankind, with its attachment to sin, evil habits, and passions. In the Holy Scriptures we see God face to face, and ourselves as we are. Man, come to know yourself through them, and walk always as in the presence of God.

You yourselves can see that man, in his word, does not die; he is immortal in it, and it will speak after his death. I shall die, but shall continue to speak even after my death. How much of this immortal word remains among the living, left behind by those who have died long ago! Sometimes this word still lives in the mouths of an entire people! How enduring is the word even of one ordinary man! Still more so is the Word of God. It will survive beyond all time, and will live and act forever.

* * *

Since God is the creative, living and life-creating Thought, those people who in their thoughts turn aside from the hypostatic Thought and occupy themselves with earthly, perishable things sin greatly by making their spirit also earthly and perishable. Especially sinful are those who allow their minds to turn away from God and wander in different places outside the church, either during the divine service or in their personal prayers. They greatly offend God, upon Whom our minds should be fixed.