Charles Bird - Without the Mask: :Coming Out and Coming Into Gods Light

2020 Charles Bird

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the publisher, Deseret Book Company, at permissions@deseretbook.com or PO Box 30178, Salt Lake City, Utah 84130. This work is not an official publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The views expressed herein are the responsibility of the author and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church or of Deseret Book Company.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Bird, Charlie, 1993 author.

Title: Without the mask : coming out and coming into Gods light / Charlie Bird.

Description: Salt Lake City : Deseret Book, [2020] | Includes bibliographical references. | Summary: A former Brigham Young University mascot Cosmo the Cougar, Charlie Bird, details his coming out as gay as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day SaintsProvided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020015165 | ISBN 9781629727844 (trade paperback) | eISBN 978-1-62973-972-4 (eBook)

Subjects: LCSH: Bird, Charlie, 1993 | Mormon gaysBiography. |

HomosexualityReligious aspectsThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. | HomosexualityReligious aspectsMormon Church. | LCGFT: Biographies.

Classification: LCC BX8643.H65 B57 2020 | DDC 289.3092 [B]dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020015165

Printed in the United States of America

LSC Communications, Crawfordsville, IN

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Cover photos: Nicole Aston Photography

Book design Deseret Book Company

Art direction: Richard Erickson

Cover design: Heather G. Ward

Praise for

Without the Mask

As an elite student athlete at BYU, Charlie inspired millions and gained national attention as Cosmo the Cougar. Now, without the mask, Charlie inspires all of us to reexamine the way we view Gods LGBTQ children. He bravely uses his life experience and spiritual maturity to teach important truths about eternal identity applicable to all. This book proves that Charlie is not only one of the greatest mascots of all time, but also a gifted writer, a positive role model, and a devoted disciple of Jesus Christ. It is sure to be a game changer.

Steve Young, ESPN NFL Analyst, Pro Football Hall of Fame

Charlie provides perfect insight into the conflict LDS LGBTQ teens feel when they are realizing they are different and wondering how they will mesh their identity and faith. He beautifully weaves his life experiences with his connection to the Savior, knowing that he was created for a divine purpose, and gives hope to others that they can live as both LGBTQ people and members of their faith community. This book gives me hope that other kids like my son will now have an environment of understanding and kindness in their place of worship.

Alyson Paul Deussen, mother of Stockton Powers, who came out as gay at the age of 13 and died by suicide at the age of 17 in June 2016

When I first met Charlie, he shared with me what he then saw as an irreconcilable conflict between his orientation and his long-held faith. Try as I might, I was unable to answer his questions, even to my own satisfaction. Until I read this very inspiring book, I didnt fully understand the depth and breadth of his struggle, or the effort he has put into reconciling these two seemingly opposing forces. Charlies insights have given me a better understanding of the far-reaching and infinite healing power of Christs Atonement, as well as the simple truth that we are each a beloved child of perfect, loving Heavenly Parents. This book can assist anyone who is struggling with any gospel principle, any doubt, any disappointment, any seemingly overwhelming challenge.

Bryant Foulger, bishop, Washington D.C. 2nd Ward (YSA)

For years I felt alone on a path that led to destruction with no hope. I began to push others away to hide what I was going through. I felt alone in my struggle to understand my sexuality and how it played a role in my eternal identity. When I heard Charlie Birds testimony, something changed. I now have courage and hope for whats to come. Charlie is not telling you how to live; he is teaching us a method to find the purpose of our life through the Atonement of Christ. This book offers guidance to understand not only the struggles that LGBTQ+ people go through, but what we have to offer.

18-year-old male, name withheld

Contents

Letter to the Reader

Dear Reader,

I aim to write the book I wish I would have had when I was fourteenwhen I was confused, scared, and felt entirely unlovable. I want to write the book I needed when I was eighteen, when I felt defeated, broken, and completely alone. I want to write the book I wish I had when I was twenty-one, when the only future I could see was bleak and hopeless, and the book I searched for when I was twenty-four, when I saw few role models and felt I was the only person in the world walking the largely uncharted territory of being openly gay and active in my church.

I want to write a book that might help a dad better understand his son, or give peace to a mother who has been crying herself to sleep at night. I want to write a book for the youth leader who isnt sure how to create a safe space for LGBTQ youth while still teaching true gospel principles, and for the bishop who doesnt know how to support families that are day by day breaking apart. I hope reading my experiences will spark healing, bridge gaps of understanding, and inspire hope.

I pray that for someone, this will be the book I never had.

Sincerely,

Charlie Bird

Before You Begin

Without the Mask alternates between memoir and teaching chapters. Memoir chapters tell stories of important events in my journey to understand who I am and how Ive reconciled faith with sexual orientation. They give glimpses into challenges I have faced with my identity, growth I have experienced, and how I have been able to maintain healthy relationships with my family, my church, and my faith. Teaching chapters use my experiences and perspective to teach overarching truths Ive learned about life, identity, and my relationship with God. Chapters and stories are organized by common themes, not chronological order.

The LGBTQ community is built of diverse souls with varied experiences. While I might be able to represent a small facet of this community, my views and experiences cannot speak for everyone. I have done my best to outline only my own, personal experiences as a gay member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I recognize the privilege that has allowed me to share my story on a wider platform, and hope by doing so I can make room for others who might not have the same opportunities or resources I have been blessed with.

Before I begin, I would like to explain to readers how I identify, and why:

I label myself first and foremost as a Child of God. My divine identity as a son of Heavenly Parents influences everything that I am. I also identify as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I value my membership in the Lords Church, along with the sacred covenants I have made.

Life often requires me to use additional labels to help communicate important information about myself. I have qualities that the world connects to an array of terms, including gay , sexual orientation , same-sex attraction , sexual identity , LGBTQ , etc. Throughout my life, I have used various terms to convey my orientation, and I use many of them throughout this book.