Joe Jansen - Grief: Insights and Tips for Teenagers

Joe Jansens curiosity into the nature of grief and how we embrace life in the face of loss began when a young friend died of leukemia. His interest in understanding death as a part of life led him to four years working with dying people and their families as a hospice volunteer. As a writer, Joe has worked as a medical and technical writer; has been an editor of trade, computer, and history books; and has written for regional, history, and outdoor magazines. Joe is a Marine Corps veteran and a graduate of Indiana University. He lives in central Indiana.

If this book has been helpful to young people working through the grief of losing someone they love, I hope it has been due to the voices of the six fine teenagers and young adults who agreed to share their stories here.

Im grateful to Kate for talking about how hard she worked to care for her brother and sisters, before and after her mothers death, while she also worked to heal and care for herself. Logan made me laugh with his story of listening to country music in the cab of the pickup he inherited from his dad and hearing his fathers objection to that music. Dexter inspired me with his insistence on placing his dads urn in a place of honor and lacing his boots with his fathers laces.

I appreciated hearing Baileys efforts to create a STEM program for girls in local elementary schools, in her scientist-sisters memory. Grace lifted me up with her stories of how performing in musical theater lifted her up, and her devotion to her younger brother and older sister. JDB showed courage in overcoming a reluctance to share his stories, and in our conversation raised his wrist to show his fathers paracord and leather bracelets, which he now wore with pride in his fathers memory.

I am grateful to the six of you, my young friends, for your courage and insights and willingness to help other young people by sharing the stories of your grief journeys. Some of you were of an age that required a parents permission, and I express my appreciation to Jennifer (Logans mom), Margaret (Graces mother), Maura (Baileys mom), and Mary (JDBs mother). Thanks to each of you for allowing me the privilege of speaking with your teenage son or daughter, and trusting me to respect and care for their feelings while bringing out stories that might help other kids.

For their introductions to some of these young people and their families, I express my appreciation to Jana DeCristofaro, LCSW, Community Response Program coordinator at the Dougy Center, in Portland, Oregon. The resources provided by the Dougy Center, including Janas podcast, Grief Out Loud, are tools that can help kids and parents, regardless of where they live.

Thanks to Carol Braden, LMHC, clinical director of programs and services, and Tara Ntumba, LMHC, support group director, both from Brookes Place for Grieving Young People, in Indianapolis, Indiana. The warm conversations, the introductions to teens who have grown because of the services you provide, and your invitation to the twentieth anniversary gathering for Brookes Place all helped make this book happen.

My appreciation to Paul N. George, MS, LCSW, LMFT, of Living Well in Good Company, in Indianapolis, Indiana, for his insights into the grieving process and the use of EMDR therapy to facilitate healthy mourning.

To Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, I offer my appreciation for the opportunity to tell these stories. Thanks to acquisitions editors Stephen Ryan and Christen Karniski, and editorial assistant Erinn Slanina. Thanks also for the support of project editors Christopher Rivera and RoseMary Ludt.

To Audrey, who I met before she was born.

I also offer my thanks to my wife Jill for her patience and encouragement as I tried to tell these stories well.

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