Gary Dooley - Change Your Life, and Keep the Change

Gary Dooley is a facilitator and founder of the Life Balance Personal Development Course.

A master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, he has lived in Canada where his family originates and now lives in Lancashire, England.

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Mind is the forerunner of all things.

Buddha

I watched with fascination as my daughter leaned first one way then the other, turning the remote control in her hands as if it were the steering wheel of a car. Id done the same just moments before as I negotiated the streets of Florence. We both knew at a conscious level that we were playing a computerized racing game and it was the buttons on the remote control that made the cars turn (we had chosen not to connect a steering wheel accessory). We knew that tilting our arms would not influence the direction of the vehicles on the screen. Why then were we turning our arms in an attempt to steer?

Weve all seen similar examples: players leaning one way or another in a futile attempt to coax the direction of a bowling ball after it has left their hand; passengers in a car unconsciously applying their foot to an invisible brake; a football coach trying to steer the ball as it flies towards a goal 50 yards away.

Why would anyone try to influence something that they realize is beyond their physical control? It seems insanely optimistic, even ridiculous, yet we all do it for a very simple reason.

Our unconscious mind is easily seduced by interesting and compelling images. If we become totally engrossed in watching something, we may enter a light state of mindlessness a kind of trance. As our consciousness starts to diminish, the part of our mind that controls our physical responses believes what it can see, and reacts accordingly.

In this chapter we will explore the potential of our unconscious mind, how it affects every aspect of our lives, our emotional state and, not least, the quality of our self-esteem. Our unconscious mind may be the most powerful and amazing resource we have, yet the most mysterious and underused. Although it is an essential key for personal change of any kind, most of us completely ignore it when we need it most. It seems we will look anywhere, consider anything, and speak to anyone in our efforts to change, while completely ignoring the wealth of untapped potential that lies within our own mind.

Dr Milton Erickson, founder president of the American Society for Clinical Hypnosis and a primary influence in the development of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, believed the unconscious mind was the most intelligent resource we have at our disposal, capable of resolving any emotional issue. He gained a reputation for helping people to quickly overcome a wide range of psychological problems; clients whod been in expensive therapy programs for years without much success would often resolve their issues after just a few sessions with him. The secret of Ericksons success seemed to lie in his understanding that we all have the potential to self-heal and create any emotional change we desire if we know how to tap into the formidable power of our unconscious mind.

Once one knows the secrets of the mind, one will uncover the nature of all realities. By knowing the one, one will know all. This is the nature of the mind.

Tibetan saying

If Erickson was right, why do people continue to suffer from a wide range of psychological and emotional issues? If our unconscious mind is so smart, why doesnt it simply fix our emotional problems as soon as they show up?

Bill OHanlon, author of more than 30 books and one-time student of Erickson, offers us his own take on this subject: The unconscious mind is smart about what its smart about, its dumb about what its dumb about, and smart about things its dumb to be smart about.

Confused?

Youre entitled to be, but take comfort from the fact that there isnt a person alive who knows exactly how our unconscious mind works. Though were living in relatively enlightened times, we are only now starting to scratch the surface of this fascinating subject. However, were by no means entirely in the dark. We know, for example, that the unconscious mind has an almost infinite capacity to store memories, to organize and catalogue any unresolved traumatic experiences and emotions, and then to re-release them, seemingly without any logical reasoning. We also know it operates at lightning speeds and regards every experience as real a fact that can work powerfully for or against us, providing us with a powerful asset in the process of change.

Many people speak about this aspect of their mind as though it is located somewhere in the brain, but of course theres no such thing in hard physical terms as a subconscious. It isnt something that can be sent off to the lab to be analyzed like a roll of film or a sample of blood. Thousands of autopsies have taken place in which a brain is removed and dissected, but no one has ever found a subconscious or an unconscious mind. When we refer to the subconscious mind were speaking metaphorically to describe a process rather than an item.

The unconscious mind is a real enigma. Although its power seems almost infinite, and it can be utilized to create any change we desire, we must acknowledge that it isnt who we are and it certainly isnt infallible in its choice of strategy. The unconscious mind is programmed to keep us safe yet in doing so may initiate strategies which have unpleasant side effects.

For example, a friend recently confessed to me that he had never been outside Europe due to his fear of flying. I dont do planes, he half-joked. This confident, self-assured man is instantly paralyzed with fear at the thought of boarding an aircraft, yet his fear isnt generated consciously since he wouldnt intentionally do this to himself; its a result of something that is taking place unconsciously. But what kind of underlying intention drives his unconscious mind to induce this fear-based drama? Does it derive pleasure from tormenting him, like an evil demon might? Or is it more likely that this fear is the legacy of an unconscious desire to protect the system from a perceived threat to its well-being?

The unconscious mind is neither good nor evil; it simply is, and responds obediently to the programming we introduce. If we condition it to associate death and carnage with air travel, it wont respond by arguing a case against the potential for self-destruction; it will simply do what its hard-wired to do: initiate the emotional reaction most likely to keep us away from airplanes. Such a strategy keeps my friend safe, though with the unpleasant side effect of paralyzing fear. Happily, a fear of flying, or of anything else, can be permanently removed by simply rewriting the appropriate programs of the unconscious mind.

The whole idea of unconscious re-programming may sound slightly abstract how do we re-program something that no one has ever seen, that has no specific location in the brain? Dont worry you dont have to completely understand how unconscious re-programming works in order to use it to produce the change you seek, just as we dont need to understand electricity to get light. If it seems unrealistic to believe your mind already holds all the solutions youll ever need, imagine how unrealistic it was 200 years ago to believe we could walk into a room, flick on a switch, and in a split second produce light.

You dont get to choose how youre going to die you only get to choose how youre going to live.

Joan Baez

I have no idea how the internal combustion engine works, but this doesnt stop me driving to work every day. Likewise, if we want to create lasting change in our life, we need only remain open-minded and apply the skills we will learn here to find evidence of the potential we hold in our mind. Since our unconscious mind influences us whether we understand how it works or not, the choice is either to dismiss this fact, or learn to harness its power to help us achieve our goals.