Dawn C. Walton - The Caveman Rules of Survival: 3 Simple Rules Used By Our Brains to Keep Us Safe and Well

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT

THE CAVEMAN RULES OF SURVIVAL

With the help of Dawns online therapy, I learned that the little voice in my head was caused by stuff in my subconscious stuff that I could reframe, so the voice didnt just quieten down but completely disappeared. I learned that my caveman brain was taking over and trying to keep me safe and with the aid of Dawns therapy sessions and downloads, I learned a new way of seeing the world The lessons Ive learned have changed my life, my career, my family everything. If I could share one thing, it would be Dawns message.

Rachel Lucas, Author

I enjoyed this book immensely; it offers sensible advice and says new things in an accessible way. All my research is geared towards helping us understand why we are as we are, and why we act the way we do, and The Caveman Rules clearly helps us to do those things. It could be as big as Emotional intelligence!

Trevor Harley, Professor of Psychology, Dundee University

First published by Changemakers Books, 2014

Changemakers Books is an imprint of John Hunt Publishing Ltd., Laurel House, Station Approach,

Alresford, Hants, SO24 9JH, UK

www.johnhuntpublishing.com

www.changemakers-books.com

For distributor details and how to order please visit the Ordering section on our website.

Text copyright: Dawn C. Walton 2014

ISBN: 978 1 78279 757 9

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014946459

All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publishers.

The rights of Dawn C. Walton as author have been asserted in accordance with the Copyright,

Designs and Patents Act 1988.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Design: Lee Nash

Printed and bound by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY

We operate a distinctive and ethical publishing philosophy in all areas of our business, from our global network of authors to production and worldwide distribution.

CONTENTS

Foreword

My life was going brilliantly when I first spoke to Dawn Walton. Id self-published my first novel, and watched it rise to the Amazon Top 10 within six weeks of publication. Id signed with a major literary agency, was on the brink of agreeing a three book deal with Pan Macmillan, and I was a popular, outgoing member of the UK blogging community, talking regularly at conferences and giving workshops.

That was the theory, anyway

In truth, I was in a perpetual state of panic that I was going to be found out. Id be out there, selling myself as positive, confident and sociable, but inside there was a little voice nagging away telling me I wasnt good enough and didnt deserve any of this. Id be telling people to get out, be positive, believe in themselves and then Id want to go home and hide under the blankets.

With the help of Dawns online therapy, I learned that the little voice in my head was caused by stuff in my subconscious stuff that I could reframe, so the voice didnt just quieten down but completely disappeared. I learned that my caveman brain was taking over and trying to keep me safe and with the aid of Dawns therapy sessions and downloads, I learned a new way of seeing the world.

Now, instead of feeling sick with nerves, I relish the challenge of standing up and talking at a conference. My writing career is soaring forwards because Ive stopped subconsciously sabotaging myself. Even if I have a bad day and we all do Im able to see it for what it is. Its just a bad day, not a sign that Im a bad person, not a sign that I dont deserve happiness.

The lessons Ive learned have changed my life, my career, my family everything. If I could share one thing, it would be Dawns message.

Read this book. Understand The Caveman Rules and everything in life will fall into place.

Rachael Lucas, Best Selling Author

Introduction

I sat in an old fashioned, slightly worn, armchair in a room in Harley Street. It struck me as out of place in such a prestigious location. I placed my legs and arms carefully in a relaxed pose in an attempt to hide my nerves. The room was quiet. I was sure the churning of my stomach, and the loud beating of my heart would give me away. Trevor, a Cognitive Hypnotherapist who I was there to see, sat just a few feet away in a similar granny-style armchair. I had been told he could help me in just a few sessions. I didnt believe it, but I did hope it was true. That is why I had jumped on a plane from a small airport in Dundee and flown to London. Apparently Trevor could use hypnosis to make me happy.

So why was I there if I was so sceptical? I wasnt sure. I asked myself that a lot in the days before my appointment. Like many people I wanted to believe in magic. I wanted to believe that I could get relief from the pain of memories and thoughts in my head. I wanted a reason to hope.

How will you know what we do here today will have worked? he asked with a kind voice.

This strange man was going to look in my head. All I wanted to do was run away.

When my daughter asks me if I am happy, I dont want to have to lie to her, I answered.

He smiled.

We chatted some more. We had been talking on email for about a month before that first appointment, so he had a good idea of why I was there. He had explained why he believed he could help me. He explained the way the mind, and specifically memory, works. By the time I travelled to London I was beginning to believe he could help me.

If you can just close your eyes.

Distracted by my attempts to appear calm despite the rising panic, Id forgotten that bit. Hypnosis meant going into a trance and succumbing to the will of someone else. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and resolved that, even though my eyes were closed, I would not do anything he told me to do. Yet, within seconds, a series of memories began to appear in my mind. Am I making these up or are they real moments? I wondered.

Soon I lost track of time as he guided me through my life to earlier memories. My position in the chair didnt matter anymore. My heartbeat settled as I became fully immersed in the movies behind the thoughts and feelings that had been painful for me for so long.

And then I was about six years old, standing outside the kitchen door with my older brother next to me. My stepmother stood in the doorway. She had just clouted me hard across the head. I was in shock. I was scared. I had a stain on my top, and it seemed that was the reason for getting hit. I could see and feel that moment as if it had happened the day before, not thirty-four years before.

The voice in the background, my guide, asked: If she could learn something that would allow her to let go of the belief that there was something wrong with her, what might that be?

Duck and run! I giggled. It seemed like really good advice.

Trevor didnt seem to agree. I was a little disappointed because Id already imagined the look on my stepmothers face if Id done that.

What might have made her act in that way? he asked.

Dunno, I answered. Its hard when you are six to understand why adults behave in certain ways.

At this point he started to draw the adult me into this picture; the one sitting in Harley Street. He encouraged me to look, with adult eyes, at what it might be about my stepmother that made her behave in that way. He helped me see that she was angry and had her own issues. He helped me see that my brother was treated the same way. He helped me see that this wasnt about me; it was about her.