Dr. David Stoop - Living Strong, Finishing Well: How to Keep Growing and Learning for the Rest of Your Life

I am sad to open this book with the news that Dr. David Stoop, my good friend and colleague of forty years, died on March 10, 2021, while trying to recover from a stroke he experienced in the fall of 2020. He was eighty-three years old, and he and his wife, Jan, were married for sixty-three years.

Id like to tell you some things about Dave. He was a pioneer in Christian recovery, an early champion of Christian counseling, a hero to those who followed his advice and teaching, and a great man who helped millions through his practice as a Christian therapist, international lecturer and preacher, bestselling author and Bible editor, and a greatly admired radio counselor. His books and Bibles have sold millions of copies, and millions of people have listened to his wise advice on the New Life Live! radio broadcast. He was a strong believer in Jesus and was one of the first to effectively integrate Christian faith and counseling when he became a clinical psychologist in 1982.

Dave was an ordained minister. He graduated from Fuller Theological Seminary and earned his PhD at the University of California. He was an adjunct professor at Fuller Seminary, where he taught courses in family therapy, and he founded The Center for Family Therapy in Newport Beach. Dave consistently lived out his strong Christian principles and faith with compassion and grace.

Dave authored or coauthored over forty books, including many bestsellers. Self-Talk was frequently seen in airports and bookstores all over the world. Perhaps his most life-changing work was Forgiving the Unforgivable . Some of his other books include You Are What You Think ; Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life ; Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves ; Making Peace with Your Father ; and People of the Bible Uncensored . I was fortunate to be Daves writing partner. Our first book together, When Someone You Love Is Someone You Hate , was the beginning of a collaboration that continued until 2020.

Daves other writing partner was his wife, Janthe other Dr. Stoop. Some of their books together include The Emotionally Healthy Marriage , The Complete Parenting Book , and The Complete Marriage Book . Jan is one of the brightest and most delightful people Ive ever met. She has been by Daves side to encourage him and at times to suggest that a project is meant for someone else. I have had a thousand dinners with them, and I think they are the most perfectly matched, mismatched couple Ive ever known. Sharing about their differences at some of our New Life Ministries events has led people to understand that a healthy marriage is not about commonalities or compatibility; it is about acceptance, compromise, connection, and accommodation. Over the years, the two of them have modeled how to love each other in big and small ways.

Beyond the books he published, Dave was an astounding creator and editor of specialty Bibles. Dave and I coedited The Spiritual Renewal Bible , which was based on the seven keys of spiritual renewal and was awarded the 1999 ECPA Gold Medallion for Bible of the Year. We also worked together to produce The Life Recovery Bible , the most sought-after publication in Christian recovery.

I first met Dave in 1981. I had heard that he was the best Christian psychologist in Southern California, and I knew he was highly respected in the worlds of academia, theology, and church leadership. Dave and Jan came to a seminar I was leading, and that was the beginning of a relationship that not only lasted but grew deeper and richer over the decades. Dave became the friend I could count on to always look out for my best interests. He was the one I designated to share every weakness, compromise, fear, and shame. He was the safest man I have ever known.