Leah E. Reinhart - Manifesting Me: A Story of Rebellion and Redemption

Copyright 2018 by Leah E. Reinhart

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Published 2018
Printed in the United States of America
ISBN: 978-1631523830 paperback
978-1-63152-384-7 ebook

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017963221

Book design by Stacey Aaronson

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NAMES AND IDENTIFYING CHARACTERISTICS HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE PRIVACY OF CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS.

I dedicate this book to my daughter, Samantha.
You saved me from a path of self-destruction and inspired me to want a better life and to be a better person through love.

M y son asked me, Why would anyone read this story? You arent famous. Hes right; Im not famous, but everyone has a unique story, and Im here to share mine. I believe, as many others do, that we are all on this planet to learn and to share our gifts. We are here to explore and become the highest selves we can be. Everyone plays a part, whether they came to this planet to be the hero, the victim, or the villain. After all, someone has to be the bad guy, and its usually the most upsetting experiences that teach us and help us to evolve the most, reaching inward instead of thinking that the outside world will make us whole. This is a story about overcoming normal and not-so-normal obstacles in life.

The outside world is only a perception. I cannot express that strongly enough. Being dyslexic, my perception is very different. My eyes do not always see whats in front of me. I might spell a familiar word and leave out the last letter, even though my brain thinks it is there. Not to mention how our brains fill in gaps. For example, our peripheral vision is mostly colorblind, with few color receptors. When it comes to our sense of taste, why is one thing spicy hot to one person and mild to another? Its all perception.

So, who is telling the truth? Each individual has his or her own truth. My point is that this is just my story and my perception of it. After all, if you spoke to my sister... well, lets just say we grew up completely differently. I dont blame anyone; in fact, I thank everyone for playing their parts to help me fulfill my destiny, the reason I came to Earth school. While writing this, Ive come to realize there are themes in all these little stories of lifes challenges and triumphs. Some of these themes include overcoming fear, dealing with rejection, learning patience, and feeling accepted, which are very common for most people.

I believed that my achievements would bring me happiness. Although they did for a while, all things outside of us are only temporary. We feel joy when something is going well in our lives, and we feel sorrow or pain when we experience something negative. I guess thats a no-brainer. All these things are temporary and are usually outside of us. For example, chocolate tastes wonderful to most of us and releases endorphins, but the feeling goes away once the chocolate is gone. You might feel nice and relaxed after a glass of wine, but it too wears off. Being in love is one of the most wonderful feelings, but what happens when its not reciprocated? What I am trying to say in this story is that peace, joy, and love come from within. You dont need another person to complete you or make you feel loved. You dont need alcohol or drugs to relax you. You can and are entitled to feel this love and peace all on your own. As in The Wizard of Oz, you dont need a diploma to tell you that you have a brain, you dont need a testimonial to know that you can feel love and have compassion, and you dont need a medal to show that you can have courage. There are basically two emotions: fear and love. Sometimes, our teachers (meaning people who are put in our lives, like family members, friends, or mentors, not just in the classroom) dont always know how to teach without instilling fear. Love is always the way.

Also, this story is about not comparing your story with someone elses. I watch Oprahs Super Soul Sunday (which I love), and she has the most inspiring people who tell amazing stories. Things like losing your limbs and still being an Olympian, or going on a journey through the mountains alone. All are wonderful stories. Those people truly have a gift to share with the world. Their experiences are meant to help people and motivate them to overcome obstacles in their lives.

But what about the average person? We all still have to come to the same conclusion as they did. The extraordinary person shows that anyone can do it. I have found that a lot of people minimize their problems because they observe others suffering even more. Problems are problems, no matter how big or how small, to the person experiencing them. For example, I have a friend with a very lucrative business who, nevertheless, worries about not having enough money, the same way a person earning minimum wage worries about losing his or her home; its the same theme. Ive learned through many years of therapy not to make light of my issues; in fact, thats really a way of ignoring your issues. When you are in denial about your feelings and they need to be released, they will come out in all sorts of negative, self-destructive ways.

So heres a story, not too extraordinary, about overcoming the same problems as the extraordinary person. Its been said, though I cant remember by whom, The three toxic Cs are complaining, competing, and comparing.

All the names have been changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent.

Sometimes Im not sure what normal means to the rest of the world. We all wonder what makes us the people we are and why we respond in certain ways to certain situations. Well, I believe there are many circumstances involved in creating our motives and responses. After all, that is one of lifes many great mysteries. Why do we sometimes have to go through shit? Why cant every day be filled with candy and roses? It took me a while to appreciate the crazy drama I grew up in, but I can definitely say I have lived and experienced an eventful life.

Life lessons arent something that you just learn and say, Next! Its an ongoing thing, a sort of evolution, if you will, like the song, Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. Everyone has a unique and interesting story to tell. I just felt compelled to write the story about my many challenges, for some strange reason. Maybe it was this path of crazy situations that led me to write this book of my experiences. Nevertheless, Im here to share and hopefully touch some lives or, at the very least, to entertain you.

I was born in Hayward, California, in 1969, and my family lived there until I was six years old. I have one sister, Nicole. She is three years older and has a very different personality from mine. We lived in a house on a great street where there were many kids and where it was safe to walk alone just about anywhere. Our neighbors were mostly a lot of fun, and we did your typical kids stuff. My favorite activity was swimming. We belonged to a swim club just around the corner from our house, and I started lessons when I was three years old. Many happy times were had in the neighborhood pool.