Barb Rogers - Twenty-Five Words: How The Serenity Prayer Can Save Your Life

First published in 2005 by

Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

With offces at:

500 Third Street, Suite 230

San Francisco, CA 94107

www.redwheelweiser.com

Copyright 2005 Barb Rogers

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-59003-072-1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Rogers, Barb

twenty-five words : how the Serenity prayer can save your life/

Barb Rogers.

p. cm.

ISBN 1-59003-072-9

1. Serenity prayer. I. Title.

BV284.S47R64 2005 2004025357

242.7dc22

Typeset in HoeflerText

Printed in Canada

TCP

10 9 8 7 6 5

I DEDICATE THIS BOOK,
in loving memory, to those women who helped to shape my life, loved and supported me. They will live in my heart forever:

My mother, Charline Chaplin My stepmother, Connie Chaplin My aunts, Ruth Poffinbarger, Juanita Kibler, Fern Brannon, Ellen McMillan, and Genevieve Osborne My sisters-in-law, Roberta Doty and Marcella Rodgers My friends, Neeva Greeson, Marge DeHollander, and Helen Wright

And in memory of the fur people who loved me in spite of myself with a loyalty not to be compared: Pedro, Spike, Junior, Domino, Teddy, and my sweet Angel who got me through so much. My brother's companions, Sonny and Essie Mae, Dad's Tina, and my friend Donna's Maxie. How blessed I was to have them as part of my life.

And to Greg Robinson, whom we lost last year. You will be missed, but your memory will live on.

I AM THANKFUL to so many people in my life for their love and support. My brother, Bill, and my father, Charlie Chaplin, and his wife, Florence. And to the Rogers family, who are too many to name. I am so honored to have been a part of your family. And to Travis Hughes, my stepson and a wonderful friend.

And to my gal pals... what would I do without you girls in my life? Thanks for everything:

Tammi Clancy

Jacqui McKibben

Cheryl Robinson

Donna Gordon & Nikki

Ruth Belden

Susan Miller

Regina Jurez

Cindy Daly

Marie Reid

Elva Adams

Karla Backlund

Maree Gutterson

Chassie West

Phoebe Bitner

Catherine Tarelton

Elaine Flinn

Gemma Lizada

Jem Hopkins

Dr. Laura Pasten

Sharon Bestwick

Nancy Walker from the Cornerstone Bakery

Shelly Burgerson, Donelle Lofton, and Anna Bennett from the Ranch House Restaurant

And, special thanks to the Highland family. You are a part of everything I do.

And always to my husband, Jr., and our two fur babies, Sammi and Georgie, who complete my life and make everything worthwhile. All my love and thanks.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

Attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr

THE SERENITY PRAYER speaks to us of change. From the point of conception, life is change, whether we like it or not. We may not have control over many of the changes that take place in our lives, but there comes a time when we must decide whether to allow our circumstances and other people to dictate our lives, or to become coauthors of our destiny.

Two people get together to make us into a human being. Genetically, that may determine what we look like, predispose us to certain things, but we are not our parents. They are simply the vessels that created our body. The very essence of who we are comes from somewhere else. From the moment we draw our first breath, we embark on an experience that can only be ours, totally unique.

Early on, significant others will attempt to guide us with their truths, those things they have learned through their life experiences. At some point, we are all faced with a choice. We can accept their truth as our own, or we can have the courage to say, to ourselves and them, This is my truth.... This is what I believe. And what we truly believe is our truth will shape our world.

As we age, live through many life experiences and choices, some better than others, what we believe will go through many changes. Where we are at the moment, what we have learned, what we have experienced, is the only truth we can live. That's not to say we can't be open and willing to change.

Have you ever sat glued to your television, totally in awe of the story of someone who has overcome great odds? Did you wonder what you would have done given the same set of circumstances? Even though you may not be happy with your own life, did you think you should be grateful because it wasn't as bad as the person's in the story? When you think that waycompare yourself to othersyou are cheating yourself. Just like the person in the story, you have been given a set of circumstances to deal with. They are yours alone. You can't understand the person in the story any more than they can understand you. The best you can do is accept that that is the life they were given, for whatever reason, and focus on the life you were given, the choices you are making.

Each individual has their own questions about life, about the purpose for their existence, the meaning of it all. There are those who would allow others to influence their answers to life. There are those who believe there are no answers, so why bother? And there are seekers. The seekers are the ones who will become coauthors of their lives. They are the ones who will live life to the fullest, understand a need to experience all emotion, stay open to the truth of who they are, and embrace the gifts of choice and change.

At age thirty-five, after a life filled with unhappiness, struggle to survive, and frustration, I made the choice to become a seeker. I've heard it said that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Although I'm certain I'd seen the Serenity Prayer many times beforeon cards, laminated onto a plaque, embroidered on a wall hangingI didn't understand it. The prayer was simply words, pretty words and a nice thought, until my life brought me to the point of needto the point of becoming a seeker, to the point of understanding there had to be a better way.

It was such a simple little prayer, those few lines that said so much and gave me hope. Serenity, peace, seemed so far away. Considering how my life had gone, if I could just find a bit of it, I would have felt overpaid. But it gave me so much more. If I could have planned out my life, it couldn't be better than it is today. I would have sold myself short. The Serenity Prayer was the beginning of a fulfilled life: a life filled with love, laughter, and a happiness I never knew existed. The prayer gave me freedom from the past, from the expectation of others, from the dread of each new day. Today, I look forward to every moment, to every new sunrise, with the anticipation of a child experiencing everything for the first time.

Life is not going to just happen to me. I am not going to make it happen. My life is going to be a happening on a daily basis. Through the grace of a God of my understanding and truly living the words of the Serenity Prayer, I have found my truth for today.

If you have become a seeker, have decided to take part in your life, to accept the gifts of choice and change, perhaps, like me, this wonderful prayer can be an inspiration. Ask yourself the hard questions. Be honest with yourself. Who are you? What do you believe? Does what you believe make you happy? Do you know serenity? Are you living or just going through the motions? If you can't answer these questions, or aren't satisfied with your answers, and I told you there was a better way to live, would you be willing to take the risk? If your life is unhappy, unfulfilled, if you dread each new day, what have you got to lose?