Jo Saxton - The Dream of You: Let Go of Broken Identities and Live the Life You Were Made for

Acknowledgments

It takes a village to write a book, or at least it does for me. So much thanks and love and carbs/healthy snacks are due:

To my loves: my husband, Chris, for telling me to dream bigger and for supporting me every step of the way. l love you, babe. To my gorgeous girls, Tia and Zo. I am SO proud to be your mom. Thanks for the endless encouragement, snacks, and fun!

To the many, many people who have cheered me on as Ive been writing. Youve prayed, texted, Voxed, called, sent me treats (yay, Deidra and Libby!), and encouraged me all the way. JHatI love you, girl. Thanks for being a sister and a friend. Jennie, Amena, Tasha, Vivian, Kathy, Gina, Steph, Sarah, Nish, Bianca, Sal, Rosilyn, Yarbs, Lizzy, Suse, Joy, to name but a few! And Ann, thanks for your beautiful words and your beautiful friendship. You blow me away.

To my community: my friends at Mission Point Church, the Lead Stories Community, my huddles (#mustbehuddle), all the gang at 3DM, and the team who pray for our family.

To my local Starbucks baristas who let me nurse one drink for five hours at a time when writing. And thanks for the free treats! Also to the librarians at my local library, who kindly ignored the amount of food I smuggled in and the loud crunching noises I tried to stifle. Thank you for expanding your definition of silence

To my team:

PAs past and presentJessie, Steph N., and now Jo. Thank you. You know Id be lost without you. And incredibly disorganized.

My literary agent and friend, Wendy. You have been a gift at such seminal points in my life. Im humbled and grateful for the way youve always heard my voice and always encouraged me to use it. Thank you, Wendy, for more than words could say. To Jim, my booking agent, youre amazing. What an adventure its been working with you! Still: Honey Crisp > Envy. Yeah, I said it. I aint sorry.

Big love to Shannon (Shanley) Marchese, my editor, to Ron and Pam, and to Kelli for your awesome cover design. To the rest of #TeamWaterBrook for your investment in this project and your friendship and kindness along the way. And to Zakiya. Youre all fab, you are.

Finally, to the One who has always seen me, always loved me, and always known my name; the One who restored my voice and gave me purpose. Thank You. I love You.

Notes

Introduction: Red Boots

Carol S. Dweck, PhD, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (New York: Ballantine, 2016), 6.

Chapter 1: Dont Call Me Pleasant

Clotaire Rapaille, The Culture Code: An Ingenious Way to Understand Why People Around the World Live and Buy as They Do (New York: Broadway, 2006), 58.

For more on this, see Craig S. Keener, Acts: An Exegetical Commentary, vol. 3, 15:123:35 (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 2012).

For wider reading on covenant, check out Mike Breen, Covenant and Kingdom: The DNA of the Bible (Pawleys Island, SC: 3DM Publishing, 2010).

Chapter 2: Whats in a Name?

Found in R. E. Longacres essay on Joseph in Dictionary of the Old Testament: Pentateuch, eds. T. Desmond Alexander and David W. Baker, The IVP Bible Dictionary Series (Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 2003), 476. Walter Brueggemann has described the coat as a sign of regal status; see Brueggemann, Genesis: Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching (Atlanta: Westminster John Knox Press, 1986), 300.

Chapter 3: The Talk

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Chapter 4: The Day I Lost My Voice

From the song Who Will Buy? from the musical Oliver! Music and lyrics by Lionel Bart. Published by Hollis Music, Inc., 1960.

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Chapter 5: Gods Child

For more on this idea, see Paul J. Achtemeier, Joel B. Green, and Marianne Meye Thompson, Introducing the New Testament: Its Literature and Theology (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2001), 425.

Chapter 6: Known and Loved

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The Psalms: Introduction, Revised Version with Notes and Index, ed. Rev. T. Witton Davies (Edinburgh: T. C. & E. C. Jack and 34 Henrietta Street, London W.C. 1906), 326.

Chapter 7: Slay Your Giants

Karen Harrington, Courage for Beginners (New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2014).

Chapter 8: The Wander Years

David W. Baker, Essay: Wilderness, Desert, in Dictionary of the Old Testament: Pentateuch, ed. T. Desmond Alexander and David W. Baker, The IVP Bible Dictionary Series, (Downers Grove: IVP, 2003), 893.

Baker, Essay: Wilderness, Desert, 896.

Chapter 10: Breaking Up with Perfection

Alli Worthington, Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2016), 22.

Tom Wright, Matthew for Everyone, Part One: Chapters 115 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2004), 136.

Chapter 11: The Song in My Heart

Bren Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (New York: Avery, 2012), 1011.

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. Malchiodis full quote is Music therapists know that by recalling music memories and associating these memories with significant events, our musical memories provide a veritable life review. In turn, these remembrances provide an internal sense of social support and connect us to others, whether through peer groups, classmates, friends, families, or communities. And triggering recollection of our musical histories reinforces identity, strengthening a sense of self, meaning, and purpose throughout the lifespan.

It Is Well with My Soul, chorus words by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873, music by Philip P. Bliss, 1876. New verses written by Matt Redman and Beth Redman, 2015 sixsteprecords.

Deliberate reference to a line from the musical Hamilton.

The origin of this quote is hotly contested but often attributed to C. S. Lewis.

Chapter 12: Practices

John Ortberg, The Life Youve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2002), 52.

O THER B OOKS BY J O S AXTON

More Than Enchanting: Breaking Through Barriers to Influence Your World

High Heels and Holiness: The Smart Girls Guide to Living Life Well

Real God, Real Life: Finding a Spirituality That Works

Dont Call Me Pleasant

H EY , F RIEND ,

You are fully known and deeply loved by the living God.

You are seen, every single part of you.

You have a voice, you have ideas, you have a purpose.

You are valuable. You are worthy.

Just let all this sink in for a minute.

But somewhere along the way, you lost sight of the truth of who you are. You became who you thought you had to be. You became what was expected of you, what pleased the world around you, what people required of you. That was fine for a while; perhaps it was even necessary. That is, until you reached a place where you dont know who you are anymore. And you havent been able to find your way back.

Most of the time, life is too full and moving too fast for you to even pay attention to the gradual loss of identity. But you cant escape the moments in life that reveal the situation. Its in the way you automatically second-guess your opinions. Or in the guilt you feel about your pride in your dreams and ideas of doing something big. Its revealed in the way you burn yourself out catering to the needs and wants of others. Its in the hope that by being and doing you will earn more love and acceptance. And when you have worn yourself out and still havent received the recognition, you try even harder.

Its in the way you cant get beyond your past, and the stain of shame that you cant seem to escape. After all this time, you still wonder if God really could love someone like you.

I wrote this book for you.

Its the story of how identities get broken, but how they can be redeemed.

Its the story of how voices are muted, but how one day they sing a new song.

Its the story of how God transforms us so we can be free.