Molly Burke - The Little Book of Confidence

The Little Book of CONFIDENCE

Molly Burke

Queen of Confidence

Published by Our Little Books atSmashwords

2011 by Molly Burke

ISBN 978-1-935157-14-4 Ebook Edition

ISBN 978-1-935157-24-3 Paperback Edition

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No part of this book may be reproduced ortransmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical,including photocopying, recording or by any information storage andretrieval system without written permission from the author, exceptfor the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

The publication is designed to provideaccurate and authoritative information in regard to the subjectmatter covered. It is sold with the understanding that thePublisher is not engaged in rendering legal, medical, accounting orother professional services. If legal or medical advice or otherexpert assistance is required, the services of a competentprofessional person should be sought. This book is not intended totreat or diagnose any medical condition and does not substitute formedical treatment. For any health difficulties and for on-goingcare, please see your physician, psychotherapist or other licensedmedical professional.

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Dedication

To my maternal grandmother Marie Elena AKAElaine Green Rubright, the first person to relentlessly assert thatI was bright and talented and beautiful. She never stoppedbelieving in me.

Hail and welcome! Heres a Little Book ofConfidence just for you. Its been designed to quickly remindyou of useful stuff, give you practical tools to enhance yourconfidence, and inspire you to achieve greater things in yourlife.

Take this little book along with you whenyoure headed out to a meeting, an interview, or any othersituation in which you could use a quick boost of confidence.

The book is divided into three sections:Quick Fixes, Practical Tools and Attitude Adjustments. Youll findthree chapters in each section, designed to be useful in the momentor inspirational... whenever.

Each chapter includes an affirmation that youcan use to deepen your awareness and build up your natural storesof confidence. For best results, write each affirmation ten times aday for at least a month (but not more than three differentaffirmations on any one day). This will help toquiteliterallyhard-wire your brain for greater confidence. Cool,huh?

Write in the margins of this little book,share what you learn with your friends, and use your new insightsto increase your storehouse of core confidence. Youll rock yourworld!

Lets begin, shall we?

These little gems are meant to be quick andeasy. They require no deep introspection, special tools or greatexpertise. Enjoy!

I took a deep breath and listened to theold brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.

Sylvia Plath, author

Remember to breathe deeply.

When you lose confidence through situationalstress, you physically tense up. This tension is not limited totight muscles or a stomach tied in knots. You breathe differently,too.

Its normal for your breathing to change inresponse to your mood and thoughts. Its also pretty common foryour breaths to shorten and become shallow when youre anxious,tense, nervous, or feeling ill at ease. When you feel panicky, yourbreathing is similarly affected, and your heart rate rises, too.These symptoms can, in turn, cause lightheadedness, which furtherexacerbates the experience of being out of control. Its a nastyspiral!

Lets nip that series of events right in thebud, shall we?

A simple, fast, and effective way toimmediately diffuse those rising feelings of anxiety is toconsciously change the rhythm of your breath. When you breatheshallowly, you feel less confident. So instead, deliberatelybreathe deeply and feel your confidence growing.

Heres how:

First, take notice of how youre breathing.When youre a bit anxious, your breathing will tend to be high inyour chest, shallower and faster. Its like youre only using thetop half of your lungs, which is true, actually. Notice that?Good.

Now, scrunch your shoulders up to your ears.Hold them there tightly for a couple of seconds, then let themdrop. Now take a big, slow, belly breath. Starting at your navel,first expand your belly as you inhale while keeping your shouldersdown and relaxed. Pay attention to the feeling of the air goinginto your nose as you breathe deeply. Hold that big breath for acouple of seconds; not too long, mind you, just an easy pause. Thenrelease that breath out through your mouth with a sigh.

Repeat this process three times.

This exercise will immediately do a wholebunch of great things, such as:

1. lower your pulse rate and blood pressure

2. better oxygenate your blood (great forimproving cognition and problem-solving)

3. lower your levels of stress hormones

4. calm your nerves

5. enable you to quickly ground and centeryourself

This simple technique can be practicedanywhere, does not require any special skills or equipment, and canbe easily done by anyone. Its easy to teach, too; so pass it alongto a friend whos anxious or stressed. Shell feel calmer and moreconfident, too.

For best results, practice this technique atthe same time every day for a month. This consistent repetitionwill ground the experience of deep, relaxed breathing in your bodyso that when you really need to call up some fast confidence, itwill already be a familiar process. Youll find it easier to relaxwhen you need to. And a relaxed human is definitely a moreconfident human.

Just breathe.

Affirmation: My confidence increaseswith every breath I take.

You are your greatest asset. Put yourtime, effort and money into training, grooming and encouraging yourgreatest asset.

Tom Hopkins, sales expert

Nothing communicates confidence aseffortlessly as good grooming. Good grooming visually implies highself-esteem because it conveys the idea that you care aboutyourself.

Now good grooming is not a matter of havingthe latest fashions, the hippest haircut or the hottest shoes. Itsnot about wearing designer labels. Good grooming is about gettingclear about what it takes to present yourself in public to your ownbest advantage.

Take the time to learn what compliments yourbody type, personality, energy levels and coloring. Consult one ofthe free personal shoppers at Macys, for example, to get expertadvice even though youre on a budget. These talented professionalswill be glad to give you the benefit of their fashion and stylingexpertise, and help you with fit, tailoring suggestions and ideasabout how to best express your own personal style. You can also aska stylish friend to accompany you to stores and help you to trydifferent styles and colors to determine which ones make you lookand feel best.

Think of your clothing as costuming whichit is, really. After all, it would be just as foolish to dress likea tie-dyed hippie at a traditional Fortune 500 company boardmeeting as it would be to don a business suit to teach a yogaclass. Be conscious of your appearance and make it apropos to bothyou and your environment. You can then use your appearance to greatadvantage, to help you feel more confident as you establish betterimmediate rapport with those you encounter.