In this ebook edition, please use your devices note-taking function to record your thoughts wherever you see the bracketed instructions [Your Notes] or [Your Response Here]. Use your devices highlighting function to record your response whenever you are asked to checkmark, circle, underline, or otherwise indicate your answer(s).
As a Type 9, my interest in the Enneagram was originally rooted in my desire to understand the people closest to me. Sure, along the way, Id love to figure myself out too. But mostly I wanted to uncover what makes my friends and family tick and learn how to love them better. This wasnt as selfless as it may seem at first glance. Ive learned that, yes, those things are trueI do want to learn how to love my friends and family betterbut its also true that by doing so, I may be able to keep the waters of my life calm and easy.
If you identify as a Type 9, I suspect that you may also be drawn to the Enneagram by the same magnetic force of wanting to unify the relationships around you. This is a beautiful part of who you are! Cherish it. But if I may, Id like to offer a tiny bit of counsel, from one 9 to another. As you learn more about yourself in the pages ahead, you may think, Hmm, yes. Thats true. I do that. Or, Yeah, thats definitely me. Or, Yep, Ill do just about anything to avoid conflict!
All the while, youll be subconsciously filing everything you learn about yourself into a nice and tidy folder in the way, way, way back of your mind labeled Interesting Things to Process Someday. Process them now. Choose to open yourself up beyond comfort. When you read things about being self-forgetful or being asleep to yourself, please take it to heart. Its all true! You may be tempted to hit the snooze button over and over again and self-forget your way through this entire book. So make certain that every time you crack open this truth-filled book, youre also cracking open your heart to all that Beth has to share.
I spent a bunch of years studying the Enneagram. But Ive recently realized that I was only learning about eight Types. And as only a Type 9 could, I successfully forgot myself and dismissed and disqualified the baggage Ive been quietly dragging around with me. Honestly, thats because it was easier that way. But as we all know, easy and right are rarely in step with one another. So yes, the bummer news is that theres a ton of hard work ahead, and for as long as were breathing, there will be more work to be done. But the really good news is that the work is not so much an obligation or duty as it is an invitation to be fully alive and to live a more whole and beautiful life.
You, my fellow Type 9, sitting there at the top of the strange Enneagram symbolyou are invited. You are welcomed. You are valued. You are necessary. Remember who you are.
Ryan ONeal , Singer-Songwriter, Sleeping at Last, http://www.sleepingatlast.com
Im so glad youre here! As an Enneagram teacher and coach, I have seen so many lives changed by the Enneagram. This is a perfect place for you to start your own journey of growth. Ill explain how this interactive book works, but first Id like to share a little of my story.
Before I learned about the Enneagram, I often unknowingly committed assumicide, which is my word for damaging a relationship by assuming I know someones thoughts, feelings, and motivations. I incorrectly guess why someone is behaving a particular way and respond (sometimes with disastrous results) without asking clarifying questions to confirm my assumptions or to find out what actually is going on. Ive made many wrong and hurtful assumptions about people I dearly love, as well as destructive presumptions about myself.
When my husband, Jeff, and I were in the early years of our marriage, it was a difficult season in our relationship. For the life of me, I couldnt figure out Jeff, or myself. I had been a Christian since I was young and desired to live like Christ, but I kept running into the same stumbling blocks over and over again. I was constantly frustrated, and I longed to understand my hearts motivesWhy do I do what I do? I figured understanding that might help jolt me out of my rut, but I didnt know where to start.
Then I learned about the insightful tool of the Enneagram, and it was exactly what I needed.
This personality typology (ennea for nine; gram for diagram) goes beyond what we do (our behaviors) and gets at why we do what we do (our hearts motives). And though there are just nine basic personality Types, each Type has multiple layers, allowing for numerous variations of any given personality Type.
The purpose of the Enneagram is to awaken self-awareness and provide hope for growth. Once we learn why each Type thinks, feels, and acts in specific ways, we can look at ourselves with new understanding. Then we can depend on God in new ways to reshape us. The Enneagram makes us aware of when our hearts motives are good and we are on the best path for our personality Type and when our heart is struggling and veering off course. The Enneagram is an insightful tool, but Gods truth is what sets us free and brings transformation.
When I first learned about the Enneagram, I resonated with the Type 9and had a good laugh when I discovered that 9s know themselves the least! But I finally had wisdom that cleared away the fog and illuminated my inner world. I kept thinking, Oh, thats why I do that! Everything started making sense, which brought my restless heart relief.
The Enneagram also helped me see when my heart was aligned with Gods truth, misaligned to some degree, or out of alignment entirely with the person God created me to be. It would highlight where I was misunderstanding myself or those I love, and then I could use that awareness to seek transformation. Using the Enneagram from this perspective was a significant turning point for me in all my relationships, especially my marriage. My new perspective allowed me to have more compassion, kindness, forgiveness, mercy, and grace toward others and myself.