Dr. Nicole LePera - How to Meet Your Self

This work is dedicated to Jacob Weakland, whose divine guidance helped channel the creation of these pages, all of which were brought forth in the weeks and months following his physical passing.

Jake, you are so loved and your presence is so felt.

W elcome to the beginning of a life-changing journey that has the potential to transform you at your very core. Youve picked this book up for a reason. You may have sensed that something needs to shift in your life, and youre not alone in this feeling. If youre like most of us, youre probably stuck on autopilot, reliving the same habits day after day. You might know what you want to do differently but just cant seem to change, or you may feel unsure of where to even start. The reality is, most of who you are and what you do is determined by your past, not by your conscious choices today. This book is going to change that.

An empowering shift happens when we learn that we live most of our lives on autopilot and that we can awaken our consciousness to create new, healthy habits. By objectively and compassionately observing the physical, mental, and emotional patterns that fill our days and create our current selves, we can more clearly see what we do not want to carry into the future. Some people describe this shift as a sudden awakening or an aha! moment. For others, this realization comes slowly and makes more and more sense over time. Thats what is so beautiful about this journey. It will happen in different ways and will mean different things to different people. It will be uniquely yours. For some readers, it may be the first time in years or decades youve put your focus and attention on yourself. That choice will have a profound impact on your life.

Ive yet to meet a human who is fully aware of all the patterns that hold them back. We are all blind to parts of ourselves we are not yet willing, or ready, to face. Sometimes we are so focused on a particular issue that we dont even notice the different ways we ourselves play a role in perpetuating these difficulties. Only by understanding our habits are we able to change them to create space for a life of chosen purpose, compassion, and fulfillment. I created this workbook to serve as your guiding light, showing you a clear path to the truth of who you actually are.

In my first book, How to Do the Work, I shared my manifesto on how to understand and heal from the dysfunctional patterns that hold us back from living up to our fullest potential. I wrote about reparenting, trauma bonds, nervous system regulation, and the inner child. I received feedback from thousands of readers who all shared a hunger for more information. Many wanted to go deeper, to learn more about themselves, and to develop tools to help them continue to explore and grow. Many looked for guidance on how to actually practice self-observation, or self-witnessing, to help identify the different subconscious habits that were keeping them stuck. After all, we have to be conscious of our dysfunctional patterns before we can set out to change them. This workbook is the answer to those requests, with exercises throughout that provide a complete toolbox for fully witnessing and reconnecting with your authentic Self.

While doing the work and applying the practices in this workbook, you will begin to become aware of the different habits you may have been repeating since childhood. Our earliest childhood experiences are imprinted deep within us. As we grow older, it is these earliest experiences that we unconsciously re-create. If we didnt feel safe or have our needs consistently met by our caregivers as children, we can become stuck in painful cycles as adults. The journey you are about to take in this workbook will allow you to see yourself from a new perspective, unlocking layers of self-awareness that will open you up to a new way of living. The exercises throughout will help you fully witness yourself, without judgment, and release the patterns in your life that are holding you back or keeping you stuck.

I know all about feeling stuck. A few years ago I was a practicing therapist who felt exhausted, burned out, and unfulfilled. I was living in survival mode and my physical and emotional health was suffering. Id wake up on Monday morning, drag myself out of bed and to work, and drift through the week mindlessly on autopilot. In the process, I consistently neglected my own needs as I worked tirelessly to try to please others, always worried about what they thought about or needed from me. Ironically, I was just as stuck and overwhelmed as the clients I was working with daily.

It wasnt until I had a health crisis (memory difficulties, terrible digestive issues, and fainting spells) that I was forced to wake up from life as I knew it. For the first time ever I prioritized myself, and started my own healing journey. As I showed up for myself and my own needs day after day, my life completely transformed. I felt a sense of purpose, I was taking care of my body, and I was finally processing all the trauma and wounding from my past that I had previously distracted myself from.

Soon, I started teaching others how they could do the same, and a global community of SelfHealers formed. Over the years, millions of people from around the world and from all walks of life have joined this empowering movement. Within every human are habits that trap us in cycles of misery, pain, and self-destruction. Within each of us is also the ability to show up every day, leaving behind those habits that no longer serve us and stepping into the highest versions of ourselves. Within each of us is the ability to trust ourselves enough to leave dysfunctional relationships and to find a safe and secure love. Within each of us is the ability to alchemize our trauma and begin to live a life of purpose. Within each of us is the ability to feel confident and empowered as we begin to consciously create a life on our own terms.

As your guide on this journey, I have to be fully transparent: this isnt going to be easy. Youre going to see parts of yourself that have been hurt, betrayed, and abandoned. A lot of emotions may begin to bubble to the surface and some may wash over you all at once. If youre new to inner work, some of the concepts in this book might be things youve never thought about or talked about with friends or family. Thats okay. At some point we are all new to this, and everyone goes through the feelings of doubt and fear, so you are not alone. In order to transform our lives, we have to get comfortable with gently pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone. Our comfort zone is whats familiar to us, and on this journey, youll learn that whats familiar isnt always aligned with what is best for us. The more we show ourselves that its safe to leave the familiar (what we know), the more we open ourselves up to the growth and expansion that are always available to us in any new moment.

I designed this book to be completely self-guided; it can be used at your own pace and all of the exercises can be completed wherever you feel most comfortable. If you need to take breaks, take them. There really is no wrong or right way to do this work. Youre more than welcome to bring these exercises into therapy, share them with friends, or complete them with a partner who wants to begin their own journey. Its important to feel total agency to choose what is best for yourecovering our power to choose is foundational for each of us.

I believe a new paradigm is coming to mental health, one that assures us that there is nothing inherently