Nicole L. Gilmore - The Five Steps To A Journey Of Healing: A Guide to Overcoming the Events of the Past

Copyright 2018 by Nicole L. Gilmore

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Print ISBN: 978-1-54393-819-7

eBook ISBN: 978-1-54393-820-3

Chapter One:

AWARENESS

A wareness must be the first step because it is an acknowledgement of and to the spirit that there is something that needs to be addressed and/or resolved.

Websters states that Awareness is the knowledge or perception of a situation or a fact. It is the ability to directly know and perceive, to feel, or to be cognizant of events.

So, as we consider the definition of Awareness, ask yourself, What do I know? What is it that I know about the WHAT and THAT which happened to me? And what do I feel about the WHAT and THAT which happened to me?

I call awareness the POWER step! This is the step that will EMPOWER you to move forward with your healing process! YOU have the POWER to create what you want to see for yourself. If you are indeed ready to heal, you must acknowledge that there is something you need healing from. Because some of us are not aware of the WHAT and THAT which happened to us, we tend to remain in a place that is stagnant and dormant, unable to recognize that there are some feelings or emotions that need to be addressed. Many of us have compartmentalized some of the events that have occurred in our lives. We have forgotten them, so weve been unable to pinpoint the source of any anger and/or distorted love that exists in our lives.

Everything that you will need for this process, you already possess. You must take the initiative to obtain the goal. Your awareness of the WHAT and THAT which happened to you will trigger some emotional pain, because remember, this step is acknowledging those things that have occurred. This is where you must decide how important your well-being is to you.

I have spoken with numerous people who are crying out for help because they cant quite cope with the trauma that theyve endured in their lives. They are in a crisis because they dont know how to move forward past some of their traumatic experiences. Not everyone is ready to deal with the up close and personal of the WHAT and THAT which happened to them, but awareness is where it must all begin. It is no different from setting any other goal in your life. There are steps that must be taken, and there is a process that must happen to reach that goal.

Once we become aware, we now possess the power, but do we know how to move forward with that power? Ask yourself this question: Do I accept the responsibility and the accountability of the WHAT and THAT which has happened to me? If your answer is YES, you have now activated the first step to your healing processAwareness!

Keep in mind that acknowledging and accepting responsibility of the WHAT and THAT which happened to you does not mean that anything was your fault. However, you are responsible for your own individual healing. No one can give that to you; you must obtain it individually. This is your process and only you can get through it. Anything that happens to uswhether its disappointment or losswe must push through to make it to the other side of it. Like all things, healing takes time. As Ive said before, it is not a quick fix to reaching the destination; however, you can get there if you allow this process to be your guide.

When I consider some of the unfortunate events that have occurred in my life, it wasnt until I had a reminder (trigger) or something that was placed in front of me that brought me back to those events. Ive casually gone through life as though life hadnt happened to me, and that wasnt my reality. I was constantly in denial and going through the motions of life as though I had it all figured out.

Life will allow us to keep living and keep experiencing some of the same things until the spirit is truly awakened to the reality that there are issues that must be addressed. For a long time, I wasnt aware that there was anything wrong with me. I continued to go through the motions, which consisted of me going to work, taking care of my family the best way I knew how, and from time to time trying to enjoy myself. Little did I know that I was empty inside. I hadnt fully lived yet. I didnt know who I was, or who I was designed to be. All I knew was that I had a family I had to take care of and that is what got me through most days. I thought I was doing everything right as it related to my duties as a mother, but hadnt experienced any true love, joy, or happiness for my life.

I am now aware that the lifestyle I created for myself wasnt living. I was carrying so much emotional baggage from broken relationships, loss, and divorce. As a mother, our natural instincts will allow us to keep going, living, and sacrificing for others. But I didnt know how to do anything for me. Therefore, it is so important that we take this process seriously to prevent us from not living our best lives. If we dont address those negative things that have happened to us, we are only depriving ourselves of living that best life. And life is too short for that.

We must also be aware that this process is for those we love as well. If we are struggling, if we are empty inside, then we have nothing to give, and that inability to give lessens the emotional well-being of those around us. If you dont seek help for yourself, I can assure you that it will cause you regret later. Your inability to heal and love will manifest in many ways within, and it will also affect those around you. In my experience, that is a challenging place to find oneself. When your family becomes aware of what they did not receive as a child or spouse, it can cause them to become resentful, and now you have contributed to the cycle of generational habits. You must take the initiative of allowing this cycle to end with you.

When you find yourself walking through life as though things are perfect, especially after youve experienced any kind of pain or disappointment, it is time for self-reflection. If youve thought that you have moved on from some of the unpleasant experiences that have occurred in your life, but havent learned anything from them, youre probably making the same mistakes repeatedly.

It is time for self-reflection to take place. If you are wondering why your relationships are not working or you find yourself in the same kind of relationships, it is because you havent taken the time to learn more about self. Awareness calls for one to acknowledge experiences and to also become aware of who you are.

This process is designed for us to begin to take a close look at self, aside from any attachments or affiliations. What I mean by that is, we often think of ourselves as someones parent or sibling or member of whatever organizations we are affiliated with. But who are you without the titles and associations? If someone was to ask you who you are, what do you tell them? This process is to assist with not just healing but defining the true you. Who are you?

Ive always stated, No one asks for some of the unfortunate things that has happened to them. However, theyve happened, and we must now adjust our skin to tolerate, grow, and change how we respond to the events of life. Move on from them. Youve already gotten through the experiences, and now it is time to get through your healing. Now its time to go and grow!

Pain has become the norm for some of us. Its whats familiar. This familiarity is what will keep you stagnant and comfortable in a space where you do not belong. If you are not aware, you will continue to make the same mistakes time and time again, such as attracting the same wrong people to share a relationship with, or not putting yourself first when it comes to making the best decision for self. These are the repeated mistakes that are made when we are not aware of our power. We have been given the power to love, and many opportunities to be happy. Lets learn to seize those moments and opportunities and not remain in sadness.